How do i stop loving someone who has hurt me so badly?

Question

we broke up about 3 weeks ago he started seeing some random girl and now she might be pregnant. we were married before, got a divorce. we decided to try it again for the kids and it didnt work i have never stopped loving him

Answer 1

You can't just stop loveing someone that you love!  

Just like you can't just love someone that you decide to love.  You either love them or you don't.  No matter what they did and hurt you have been.

Love is an entity on its own.

You are hurting yourself more by trying to stop this love.  It has nothing to do with you being together nor if you were able to make the relationship work or not.

Un-attach love from all other things.  Just let your love flow.

Similar to, say, if a member of your family or a friend you were very closed to passed away, do you stop loving them just because your lives do not touch anymore?

The pain will go..  it takes time.  You had history together and children.

Love yourself and it this go.  You have both tried to make it work.  

When the pain fade, it would be much easier to work out what type of relationship (e.g. friendship / raising kids team mates etc) would be the relationship that works for you both.

Answer 2

Ok, I understand you tried to make it work for the kids however it is time to think of them now.

The attention right now are those kids. It did not work. You will always care for this man because he was once your husband and will always be the father of your children.

Move on and forget about him. He has done the same.

Answer 3

I know exactly what you mean. You can't just stop loving somebody. It's not that simple. Love is not an emotion that you can turn off at your descretion.

Honestly, sweetie, I'm just not sure what you can do. The obvious answer is time - everything heals (or almost heals) with time, lots & lots of time. Until then, try to keep busy. Find a new hobby, try to meet new people. Good luck. My heart breaks for you.

Answer 4

It's easy to say move on, but it's far too difficult to just do it!  You're eminating low self-esteem and you must re-evaluate your self worth and the major contributions you/'ve made in your marriage, with your children, etc.  These exercises will help boost your self-image which will enable you to focus on what's best for you and your children.  

Answer 5

If this other girl might be pregnant, then that means he has been seeing her longer than three weeks, sorry!

Answer 6

accept the fact is over and cut all ties, no contact. Get in the Bible for your strength.  You can do it, you just have to want to

Answer 7

Cut all ties .You got divorced for good reasons (obviously since he's back in play and probably has been for some time now!) Only Time will heal your broken heart. Avoid him as much as you can. Give yourself time to heal. Good Luck!

Answer 8

if you think about  about HER that is a no no. think about your KIDS  FUTURE.

we had the same problem too. we  take 5 time of counseling it did not work out. because i catch her when the man at our BED  10 times  I  did fore give her because i was so deep in love with her. the best thing you to do  TAKE ALL HER PICTURES at your house and your wallet  burn take the ashes put it on  jar and buried in your mind. she is gone. it take me two years to for get her.  

and do not turn back your head. there is lot of nice beautiful women with nice curve out there.  

Answer 9

Start loving yourself and other people will love you.

Move on