How do i stop my fear of fighting?

Question

I don't think fighting is cool or anything but i do believe that when you have to fight, then you have to fight. The problem with me is that i'm too afraid of fighting. This has become a problem becasue several times i got into fights and i didn't really fight back because i was afraid and i ended up losing the fight. Can someone tell me how to overcome this fear? and please don't say take martial arts or anything.

Answer 1

Fear is the mind killer. Notice how difficult it is to think when terrified. Fear on the other hand is a good thing. It keeps us from doing stupid things if controlled properly. and a controlled release of adrenalin can be a good thing. So this is a dilemma for all martial artist.

Sparing practice helps with this because it gets us to overcome fear in little doses at a time as we learn to control our bodies under stress. Always use positive self talk when in a stressful situation. Use phrases like "I can handle this", "I can beat this situation.". Give yourself permission to be positive about yourself. Don't ever focus on the outcome of a match or a situation. Be in the moment from moment to moment. Do NOT allow your mind to wander to the possible outcome win or lose. And not the least is to practice deep breathing to help keep adrenalin in check.

Spar every chance you get. Remember though sparing techniques of fighting are different than street self defense. so practice these as well.

Answer 2

fight! very simple but true.... get into some action. tha more u get involved in, tha more experience you'll gain. go out there and do it.

P.S tha reason y people say take up some fighting sport(karate, kung fu, boxing) is because u train while fighting. U may spar with a friend or ur teacher many times in a week. U may even work on set movements to learn how to defend yourself. <= that works well too. Anyway these fighting sports put u in controlled fighting situations that help u gain confidence and coordination.

Answer 3

dont fight. or get into them. it is uncivilized anyways. carry a weapon for personal protection if u need to. it is a deterrant enough. u dont have to use it.

Answer 4

maybe your afraid of losing, start doing lots of pushups and arm dips, lifting weights, get a punching bag to practice your technique, good luck

Answer 5

yea well we all have to fight sometimes. Go Boxing

Answer 6

The only way you'll reduce the fear is if you face it... and that's not the solution... sparr with a friend, get use to some movements and get use to being hit, especially in the FACE... in a fight you're going to get hit and if not that, touched...

I'm telling you man, the best way is to go to any type of martial arts gym and train in full contact, i been doing so for 6 months and i feel way more calm, happy, and not as scared when something occurs.

Fear is a good thing to if you can control it. Fear is a sign of warning. Anyone who sais they never get scared are full of ****. So play with your fear, meditate, relax, stay cool.

Peace

Answer 7

overcoming fear is best done by facing it.

you say "PLEASE DONT SAY TAKE MARTIAL ARTS"

yet you want to continue to get beaten up.

my advice to you is to begin looking into self defense training.

there are a bunch out there, one might suit you just right, like say judo or aikido or jiu jitsu. look into those if you want to stop getting your *** kicked.

Answer 8

A lot of good points have been made. There are a few things I'll say to help you out.

1.) Understand fear:

I'm not going to get too far into this since whole books have been written on the subject. Fear is a response to direct stimulus which can result in a number of different outward responses following the release of certain hormones and impulses within the body. Those hormones will increase speed, strength, and endurance at a cost of fine motor control (that is, if you think about doing something detailed with your finger tips, it's not going to happen). This is a good thing, so you want to use it, but train to use it properly. I won't suggest a martial art, but find a buddy and play fight until you get to the point that you guys start hitting each other. When you realize that pain is passing and is worse when you think about it, you'll be more prepared to respond. As well, take up running, since that'll put many of those same hormones to good use and you'll get used to their presence.

2.) Your mind is your enemy

Find a quiet spot (I prefer outdoors, but it's up to you). Sit comfortably. Close your eyes, breathe calmly, and listen to your breath. Only your breath as it rises and falls. When your mind starts to tell you something take a deep breath and let the noise of your breathing cover up the voice in your mind. Do this until you can sit for a good long time (how long is up to you) without thinking. Then take this same practice into your life as you walk around. When you need it, your mind will scream at you so you can't ignore it. This is the way in which you learn what needs to be done and what can be ignored. Do not overwrite your mind, but simply push the garbage out. Then you'll know when your fear is genuine.

3.) Choose the best resort

There are not simply two responses to fear. There are four at least, possibly more. In response to fear, you can run (flight), fight, posture, or submit. Right now you're trapped inadvertently in the submit stage. When you're getting hit, keep breathing. This is very important. If you don't carry yourself well (confidently -- that is, shoulders back, head high, gaze ahead), posturing isn't going to help you. Posturing is what frightened soldiers do with their weapons to discourage approach when they can't bring themselves to fire. In a scrap, this would take the form of doing things like cracking your neck, grinning ear to ear, punching your hand, and generally giving the attitude of "I'm going to enjoy this..." Posturing can also be a prelude to a fight, so learn to recognize it. Guys who are making threats, shoving, talking trash -- they are posturing to see if you submit. If you're going to fight, dedicate yourself to the fight, don't care if you get hit, and don't go down. Keep fighting until they're down or someone breaks it up. If you need to run, don't stop running until you're certain that they're no longer following. And don't stop breathing.

4.) Develop and practice a fight check list

The only time you should think in the fight is to do an evaluation. With proper training, this would become natural. At minimum it should be:

- Evaluate the threat: What should my most effective option be? What's the other guy doing?

- Evaluate escape route: Where's the weakest point I can break through and run?

- Check breathing: In. Out. In. Out.

- Act: Whatever you're going to do, do it and dedicate to doing it.

All in all, these should happen in about a second.

In closing, do not hesitate to run away because you think they'll make fun of you or whatever. This is your ego (a portion of your mind) and it has no place in a fight. Just remember -- running away means you get to go home to your family at night, and there's nothing more important than that.

Answer 9

I did kickboxing with friends in high school, just need to purchase the gear (head, feet, hands)....  and grab a rulebook.

Give it 3 months and fighting will be a walk in the park.

-jc

Answer 10

you just need confident, or carry a pepper spray for defense

Answer 11

Just fight once

or do some sports like Boxing kong fu and taekwonda

Good luck

Answer 12

"Don't say take martial arts or anything." T_T

Dude, If you don't want to get hurt, then learn to defend yourself. People kept saying that just walk out or talk them guys into it to prevent a fight, but there'll be a time that those won't work and you'll have to defend yourself one way or the other.

Learn to defend yourself to overcome fear - fear of getting hurt.

Answer 13

Fighting is sometimes a necessary evil; not everyone who fights is into martial arts. My advice is just to stand up to people; attitude can get you out of a lot of situations. Unfortunately, fighting is one of those things that you have to actually learn through experience...good luck to you.

Answer 14

Hi

wats ur age?

r u an adult now in its teenage..........

then let me tell u have a proper diet>>>>

try to include yoghurt (dahi)

{this contains vitamin B12 help control adrenaline level}

u will not get nervous during

try to join Gym

or exercise Regularly

u need to have stamina and good fitness level

remember u dont win a fight  with strenght but courage

just speed up urself

slap and punch latters face and u'll get over him try to give hard punches

after all u need to work hard for everything

nothing comes easy

Answer 15

Get in shape increase your strength .

Look at it this way you get attacked you dont fight back you get hurt

You get attacked and your efforts are weak or useless you get hurt.

Fighting means getting hurt even for the experienced so if you are going to get hurt anyway give it your all your best effort.

Answer 16

Look, some people are made to fight and some are not, martial arts training or not.  If you're afraid to get hit, get involved with something where you will be forced into situations of physical contact, join a wrestling or rugby club,  get used to getting hit.  Go hit the bag at the gym.  Raise your fighting spirit in some way.  Or better yet, avoid situations where you may be called upon to fight.

Answer 17

Tonight I was down getting some Chinese food and a video to watch at work.  I was down the street with 2 intellectually disabled people that I was looking after.  When I walked out of the Chinese shop into the car park there was lots of yelling and I looked over and saw 2 people rolling around on the ground and 2 people standing near by yelling at each other and at the 2 people on the ground.

I was unsure as to what was going on so I took out my keys, wallet and phone and put them in my bag and handed it to one of the disabled people I was looking after and asked them both to wait next to the Chinese shop.

i walked towards the 4 men and asked calmly what was going on.  A man came from another shop and pointed out which 2 men had started the conflict and what it was about.  Apparently 1 drunk man had stumbled into the other mans car and had started abusing the man who was sitting in the car with his friend for hitting him with his car.  The driver of the car exited the vehicle and enganged in the argument with the drunk man...  This led to a fight which is where I entered the scene.  The man from the shop told me that they had called the police and they were on their way.

I walked towards the men again and pointed at the drunk mans friend and requested calmly and firly that he get his friend and leave now.  The drunk mans friend went and grabbed his friend and tried to pull him off, the driver of the car was still trying to hit the drunk man until I told him to leave him be and he took notice and they both stood up still yelling at each other.

The drunk guy was saying that he had "totally kicked" the other guys **** or whatever.  The driver of the car was baited by this as he was actually quite clearly winning the grappling match happening on the ground, so he started yelling at him again.  This prompted the drunk guy to pull a star picket out of the ground and run towards the other guy.

At this point I stepped between the two otf them and said calmly that the police had been called and were on their way and that what he was doing now would be classified as assault with a deadly weapon and he would be looking at some jail time.  The drunk man took a few wild swings in my general direction but not within striking distance but quite close enough to make me very uncomfortable.  I said again to his friend that they both better get out of there before the cops arrived.  I said again to the drunk guy that he was getting closer to do something that he couldn't take back and may go to jail for.  The drunk guy lowered the star picket and his friend grabbed him and they both left, still shouting at the other 2 guys.

I asked the 2 men from the car if they were ok.  They seemed really shook up and angry but not hurt.  They both got in their car and left.  I then went back to the clients that I was looking after and took back the bag and got our keys and went to our car and left, as I was driving out the cops arrived but it was already too late and I just left as I wanted to eat my food, also there was plenty of witnesses that saw the whole thing and where the 2 main offenders went and my main concern was the clients that I was looking after that were a little rattled by the whole thing.

So what's my point?

My point is this...  I know how to fight.  I'm pretty good at it but I didn't let my ego create a fight.  I never told anyone that I could fight as this is a challenge.  I never instigated a threatening action and wouldn't have unless I was threatned physically close enough to warrent it.  I was able to reason with 4 very angry individuals, 2 of whom were highly intoxicated and one of them weilding a metal improvised weapon.  I also was quite adrenalised and quite frankly shitting my pants as I didn't want that metal stake in my head or any other part of my body.

Granted I deal with things like this regularly in my work with the intellectually disabled but every time there is a split second where I **** myself.  I have always been and always will be cautious and slightly fearful of being harmed when entering a conflict.  This is only natural, most likely if you are not afraid then you have either caused or are contributing to the the violent outcome as you have lost your head, if you have your wits about you you will have your brain reminding you of self preservation, this is normal and you want this.

Try to beare in mind the lesson that one can usually avoid violence in most situations.  It takes 2 people to fight.  If it gets too much for you run.  If you can't run then do what you have to do.

Answer 18

99% of what people "have" to fight about is B.S. and in the grand sceme of things really not that important. When this happens it is a clash of two ego's.

The other 1% is when you have exausted all other options and have no choice but to physicly defend yourself or risk physical injury. I am going to assume this 1% is what you are talking about.

So how do you get over your fear of physical confrontation? Train and train hard. "Please don't say take martial arts or anything"....why post this question in the martial arts section? The only way to get over a fear of fighting is to train for it, at a school that trains realisticly with hard contact. There is no other way I am sorry to say.

It would be like saying I want to drive my new car but I don't know how, and please don't say take drivers training. Not going to happen.

Answer 19

by doing it at least once

Answer 20

That's probably because you're thinking ahead. Meaning you're looking into the future. Don't think what would happen after the fight. Go fight with the mind of the martial artists back in the days where they had to constantly fight in a life or death situation. Don't think about the future because if you don't win the fight you're in at the moment, it means nothing.

Also, if you keep fighting, you'll start fearing less.

Answer 21

play ice hockey, pretty soon, you'll forget about pain, and after a few shoving matches and maybe even a fist fight, you'll be hard as f***.  you'll beat the p**s out of someone and no one will want to fight you.

or go to europe and join a firm, get into a couple football (soccer) riots, and pretty soon throwing punches will be a thing of nature

@anyone who says fighting is dumb, it sounds to me like he is the one being provoked.  you can only be passive for so long, for me, the limit is getting pushed, slapped or punched or some variation of being hit.  other people wait longer, some not as long.

Answer 22

Do what i do when I'm about to fight someone that I'm scared/afraid of.Punch the wall very hard or a table or anything in front if the guy and then get really angry and you should forget your fear and fight.If you dont know how to get really angry then do what the other guys said,take a Martial Arts class cuz you have fight a lot in those classes(at least in TKD,Karate,Kickboxing,etc. you do)and eventually you will get used to fighting and you should be find whenever you fight.if you really DO NOT want to take a Martial Arts class,do push-ups,sit-ups and other muscle building exercises for the event of fighting of a "stronger" opponent.

Also,post this Q.(the tittle only)on youtube and i think there should be a few vids. about this problem.If you do NOT know how to fight(that might be the reason for your fear too)go too youtube and write "how to fight",there are a lot of good vids explaining how to throw a proper punch and different strategies for the famous "bigger opponent",some workouts to increase your abilities etc.

Answer 23

All right, Fear is connected to pain, you don't want pain and you will get it if you engage in fighting so that is why you fear fighting. The only way you will get over the fear of fighting is to accept the pain is a way of life, you will encounter pain a lot of the time in life and that it is nothing to be afraid of.

The best way to combat this is to accept pain and use it as a motivate to fight better, the best way to do this is (dare I say it) join a full contact Martial Arts school and to learn to ignore and accept the pain that will come from fighting.

Hope this helps.

Answer 24

I will say one thing concerning getting in to fights, it's not just what you can do, IT"S WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN DO!! create a body that's strong and that most people would not want to take the chance in finding out what you can do. I don't think that most people would want to fight a guy that looks like a bodybuilder unless maybe he looks like one too, he's still gonna think twice. martial arts along with this will insure the confidence that you need, hope this helps. You have a lot of work in front of you.