How do i stop thinking like this and move on?

Question

I know I'm not normal, but this is weird even for me. The late actor River Phoenix, I know a lot about him. But I've only seen one of his films (stand by me). And when I see a movie I like, I look up everything about the film and the actors in it. I look up pictures and everything. Anyway. I ended up seeing the leaked picture of him in his coffin. That upset me pretty bad. I haven't been able to watch that movie again since (over a month ago). And I just watched Parenthood today (I've seen it a bunch over the years) and decided to look some stuff up. And I was reading stuff about the actors in it on IMDb. And when I got to Keanu Reeves, River Phoenix was mentioned a bunch. And my stomache just turned and once I finished reading that stuff, I clicked back and ended up reading about Martha Plimpton....and then MORE stuff was said about River Phoenix. Making my stomache turn even more.

For some reason his death has affected me more than ANY other death. More than my uncles, my great grandfathers, or any other actor. And I was only a baby when RP died. It's to a point where if I even see/hear the words river OR phoenix I cringe and think about it. It gets harder to breathe and I start thinking about death and everything. It's hard to explain. But how do I get over this feeling? How do I stop thinking about it if I hear those words, or anything about him? I mean, River and Phoenix are both pretty common on road signs and stuff... I don't want to go the rest of my life freaking out over this stuff.

B.T.W. I'm really srry this is so long, I tend to rant and get off topic and explain things in detail to a point where I even get tired of what I'm saying/typing.

ANYWAY, any help would be great.

Answer 1

Take it easy on yourself, this is no big deal. For some reason the image of River has affected you and the way you think about death. Stay with the process - over time you will come to some sort of understanding about what this means. There will be a personal insight of some sort. Relax as this may take a while, even months.

Answer 2

I Think This Has To Do With A Underlying Issue Of Your Afraid Of Death Or The Idea Of Death And That Picture Of River Phoenix In The Coffin Affected You In That When You Hear River Phoenix It Triggers That Fear Or Phobia, Sounds Like You Have A Issue With The Concept Of Death But As Time Passes And You Get Older It Won't Seem Frightening And You'll Come To except Death For What It Is A Normal Occurrence In Life I Know When I Was Young I Had A Terrible Fear Of Death But Into My Early Teens I Learned To Except It For What It Was And Also Believing There Is Something Better Out There After Life That Death Brings Helped.