How do i tame my 3 year old boy?

Question

My 3 year old son is lovely but he is the complete opposite of my daughter. He is incredibely strong minded and gets bored easily. I have for some time used a step and the 3 minute rule for when he is naughty but this is not working anymore. I need something that i can be consistent with and use in public if he plays up. I am a single parent which to some extent probably affects him,not sure about that though. I am a good mum and both kids are great, but my son is a handful sometimes and i want to sort this out now before he gets older. I will be contacting my health visitor later for advice but i was wondering if anybody else has suggestions or is/has been going through the same problem?

Serious answers please,thanks

Answer 1

my daughter is 2 1/2, let me tell you. it's not just the terrible two's. some ppl tell me that it continues on until they are about 4. i was a single mom until this past april. and i believe that being a single mom does have some sort of affect on children. my daughter is stubborn and shes a red head, so you guessed it, she has such a bad attitude. what i have come to realize is that as much as i hate to do it, i have to look her straight in the eye, make her keep eye contact with me and talk sternly. time outs do not work, and standing in the corner does not work either. let him know who is boss and that it is not okay to act like that. and that 'big boys' do not act like that, only babies. it has seemed to work with my daughter..hope it helps :)

Answer 2

People always say terrible twos, but my sons were all wrotten at three ...

The thing is, there is no one simple punishment that works all the time, everywhere, and with every child. :-) If there were, wouldn't that be lovely!!

My suggestions are:

When he acts up out of the house, be consistent, be calm, and be instant. Follow through, carry through, mean what you say, and do it.

In public settings, don't get embarassed or flustered, if you can. Be calm, be firm,  be definite. Smile at the people around you, if you want. Most of them have been there.

If it's a temper tantrum at the store, it's time to go, even if you really need the milk. Time out as soon as you get home, or in the car, or in the parking lot.  IF you can, find a neighbor or friend you can leave him with the next time you go to the store, and tell him why he's not invited along. If not,  let your daughter pick the cereal and the lunch meat and don't give him any choices. In any case, talk to him and explain why.

At the playground, no more play. Bad behaviour with a toy, toy gets taken away. At a restaurant, get a doggy bag & leave.

When he acts like a good boy, tell him so. Give him rewards for good behaviour. Try never to bribe him, as that only teaches him how to manipulate you. Make sure you know the difference.

You've got to be creative!

Think of it as mommy-training for those teenage years.  :-)

Answer 3

I have 5 kids and pregnant with twins.They are very behaved but when we go to a store they run to the toy section.But you have to be tuff they cant always win dont screem.Pick him up and put him in his room and use the 3 mins thing but if he keeps doing it then make it 2 more mins. Tell him if he bes good u get him a toy and u can go to walmart and get something.

Answer 4

Hi sounds pretty much like the majority of the 3 years old boys I have in my preschool :)

THe method I use is similar to the one you already use.

-Beginning of day we go through our 4 rules...I say what I want them to do rather than what not to do eg: "we walk" instead "do not run". You could do something similar-eg: we are going shopping-we walk with mummy in the shop....etc.

-Ensure that you have enough stimulating toys and activities...you say he gets bored easily are the toys appropriate for his age? In england we have toy libraries where you can 'rent' new toys...or you could take him to a parent and toddler or stay and play group so he has new experiences to keep him engaged.

-Ensure he gets praised wheneverh e's being good-eg: 3 mins of good behaviour say "you are being such as bigboy today"...he gets positive attention for the good this way!

-If there is a trigger to the negative behaviour eg: you can see he's beginning to get fidgetty, you're entering shop with toy aisle then prepare yourself...get him distracted-give him a task to do eg: look out for something, hold something, can he 'help' mummy. This may steer him away from his behaviour :)

-If he does misbehave then you remind him once about the rule...then give him a choice---"you walk with mummy or you get in the trolley" or "You are quiet or we go sit in the car till your ready"....dont bribe at this point though :) then go with whichever choice he choose--if he doesnt choose he just continues behaviour then say "ok we'll go sit in the car". It's embarrassing sometimes but once he realises the pattern and that you arent going to back down (yes shopping can take twice as long this way) then he will realise behaviour must change.

PS: great tip for when shopping-give him a shopping list-a simple notepad size with some photos of things to look for-you'd be amazed how great this works as a distraction :)