How do i tell her to back off?

Question

I am 18 and my fiance is 21. We've been together going on 2 years, we also have a little baby girl due in 2 months. He has a wonderful Job paying more than enough to get bills paid,baby things,food, plus things we want. I stay at home (his request) and clean and cook for him that's all he asks me to do.When he comes home he plays on his computer for a couple hours to relax a little. My sister is 23 with three kids,lives at home with mom,and dosen;t have a job. She is constantly telling me that my fiance needs to help me clean and he needs to do this and that. I have no problem doing these thing yea it gets frustrating sometimes but he dose so much for me that i feel i owe it to him.When he gets home she knows that he plays on his computer and she will fuss because he is on it saying he sould let me play on it for a while. I am on the computer while he is at work it's not my fault she gets on when he dose. How do I tell her to back off?? I've already tried and it cause a big fight and she said I was choosing him over my family

Answer 1

tell her that the bible states that  a  man leaves his family and cleaves to his wife and the wife does the same thing

although I would suggest that you make it legal for you child's sake

Answer 2

ignore her.  i know it's hard.  everytime she makes a comment remember that she's the one with 3 kids and jobless....probably no man either.

Answer 3

Wow. Sit your sister down and let he know that you are happy and your boyfriend and you have a nice system where you both have differant resposiblites and your happy with it. you both work hard. I would also let her know that its really none of her business.  

Answer 4

your sister is being unreasonable. She sounds jealous. If she brings it up again address it but tell her if she doesnt back off and mind her own business you will be forced to limit your interaction with her because of her negative attitude.

some things u can say:

i am content with the way my life is. your opinion is noted so please dont share it again with me.

your negative attitude towards MY home life hurts my feelings and I wish you wouldn't harass me about it any longer.

I can take care of my life on my own and dont need your help

mind your own business

i'm sure u have already said what u can in your fights. i doubt that your sis will be understanding since she has already been so mean about it. u need to make sure you can follow thru and make good on your threat to lessen the time around her, cause empty threats will not help the situation.

BTW, i think your life sounds great. I strive to be a homemaker one day and think it is perfectly even for you to do all the cooking and cleaning if he goes to work every day and provides for the family. your sister is way out of line.

good luck!

Answer 5

I can't even tell you how much of a "not a big deal" this scenario sounds like.  Don't pay any attention to her.  Family members are going to mouth off to you. As long as it's not causing any stress in your relationship, there's no real issue.  If she's irritating you...flat out tell her to shut it. She's in no position to give any advice.

Answer 6

I'm sorry, the only thing I could suggest is face to face, but apparently that didn't work. That's a difficult situation. Sorry I can't be of more help!

Answer 7

You know I have 2 kids and stay at home while my husband works. I clean house, wash the dishes wash the clothes, cut the grass, take out the trash and cook dinner, I make his coffee for him in the morning and his lunch for him to take with him every day. I do this #1 because I love him, #2 because he gives me the greatest gift I could ask for. I get to stay home with my kids and watch them grow up. I get to raise them how I want them raised not by some daycare center. #3 I don't work so why should he have to do the stuff when he gets home? He works for 8 hrs (normally 12 or more) why should I Not be pulling my wait around and working while his working! I don't get paid cash, but in other ways.

Tell your Sister that he does his job outside the home and you do yours inside the home to shut-up! Yeah it gets old and repetitive, but you know what, so does a 9-5 job! You do it because you want to! You get to take a break when ever you want when you’re at home. You can play the computer, go out somewhere, watch TV he doesn't get that option with his job! So in the end you've really got it made! sounds like your sister is lazy and if she is married she doesn't appreciate what she has, and if she's not well seems to me there may be a good reason she's not.

Answer 8

Tell her you have nothing better to do than clean. Also let her know that he works hard everyday and after work he likes to relax. just explain to her that you relax all day and get on the computer when you aren't cleaning. and if she still doesn't stop Tell her he cleaned the dishes or something to get her off your back about cleaning.

Answer 9

tell her he IS a part of your family!

she might just be upset because you are getting married to your baby's dad and she's single

Answer 10

i can see where your sister is coming from with saying you chose him over your family as family should be first but as she is family, she should see that you love this bloke and she should be happy with you, being your sister, she should listen to you and be there for you, not go on at you about things, if you say you're okay with doing the cleaning and things then your sister has no say in the matter, tell her to concentrate on her and her children and stop worrying about you but you appreciate that she is looking out for you and if you do have a problem, you will go to her. be nice about it or it will cause an argument, you two are sisters and nothing should come between you, just let her know you're happy and you'll go to her if needed :)

Answer 11

You sister is jealous of your relationship. Let's face it, if she knew what she was talking about she and her kids wouldn't have to live with your parents. She is only trying to cause trouble for you. It is up to you how much work you want to do at home. And I think it is just fine for you to do the housework when you don't have another job outside the home. He is working hard to provide an income. Go give him a hug and a kiss for it. Tell your sister you are happy with everything just like it is and remember she is only trying to cause trouble. She doesn't like that you are happy.

Answer 12

He sounds like a great guy, and very responsible.  Just ignore your sister if you have to!  She doesn't seem to have a clue!  

Answer 13

She's right, he's too demanding of you. The part of being married means you both take on each other's struggles, small and big. You both need to help out in the house, and if you're doing all the work because you feel you owe him, then he's not doing something right. What kind of fiancee is he if he's making you feel like you owe him something? That's not love, it's like you're his slave who will do what he says. I know that's not the case, you need to fix this before you get married.

Answer 14

Your sister is jealous of you.  You have a man who loves you and wants you to stay at home to care for the child both before and after she is born.  How wonderful!

Your sister doesn't understand what compromise is, either.  Your man works and pays all the bills and provides for the while family, while your part comes in the form of household duties and child-rearing.  Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.

When your sister starts in on you, ask her where her job is?  Ask her where her man is?  Ask her how she can justify mooching off your mom and then turning around and telling you your business?  Ask her how she knows what you do all day since she thinks you never get to play on the computer.

When she says you're choosing him over your family, tell her that's better than taking advantage of family by mooching off your mom!  Besides that, when you are having children with someone you love, you should choose him over your family!  Your sister needs to cut her apron strings like you have!

You just keep on living the wonderful life it sounds like you have with your man!  Congrats on the baby and I hope your labor and delivery go well and everyone is happy and healthy!  

Answer 15

I say you tell her that she shouldn't be telling you anything about your fiance it is your life and the relationship is between you and your fiance and not her and she shouldn't be telling you anything about it.Its your choice and its the way you guys decided to make things and tell her she has no right to butt in at all.And you are about to start a family with him so there is no reason to cause such a big trouble about it tell her that you like the way things are and that she shouldn't start problems for you.

Answer 16

First of all, I think you and your fiance are both fine people and don't need someone's control over your life. But you can't just tell your sister to back off. It will outrage her. Why? She loves you and cares about you. That's why she's not minding her own business. She is worried about your future and thinking that you may end up being just like her in the future with no job and a bunch of kids, if you kept spoiling your fiance since now on. This is very understandable. Once again, she is doing it because she loves you. She is not jealous about your life. What you have  to do is, you need talk to her based on common sense.  You are both adults, so invite her over  for lunch or something. Tell her how much you appreciate what she is saying to you and understand she loves you very much. But that doesn't mean she can do tell you what to do in your life. Your fiance and your sister are a part of your family. You want peace right? So talk to her how you really feel without getting emotional. She should understand you. Sometimes parents and siblings get over protective.

Really guys needs their own space(this is very important), they don't like to be told what to do. If he works hard, then he deserve to play or do whatever he wants after work for a couple hours.

You will fully understand one day what she was saying to you.  You will be tired of washing dishes and house chores alone. Frankly it is a good idea to learn to start sharing duty of house chores whenever possible regardless of who makes how much money. Because if you do all time house chores thinking my fiance makes money and pays bill, guys like that and in the long run they develop no appreciation of what you do at home. No offense for good caring guys. Finally remember, you and your family will live with result of your choices and decisions.

Answer 17

just say these simple words:

BACK THE **** OFF OR ILL HIT YOU WITH MY SHOE!!!

lol

(make sure your shoe has doggy p**p first)

LOL

Answer 18

so do you and your fiancee live with your mom if so you guys need to move out unless your mother interferes...

Answer 19

First of all, no one should get in between a man and woman. That is your personal life. If you want him to play on the computer after a hard day at work(bless you) why not. I work hard all day, my wife doesn't work(my request) and she takes care of our son (6 mo). I do help out on some chores but after 8 hour work day, I want to come home and relax. Just talk to her, and be honest about it. I'm sure it will all turn out well. Good Luck!!

Answer 20

Sounds like you are compromising and like he rules you. You are young, you shouldn't waste your life caring for someone who will raise themselves way out of your station one day and you will be left as you are now, just way older. Go back to school and show some respect for yourself...and then he will respect you. Marraige is about sharing...share the responsibility - you the bills...him the home. You will be happier for it one day...trust me.

edit// Most people pounce on the weakness of others if they don't like to hear what the person is saying - if your sister is as you say she is..(you didn't tell why..did she have the kids out of wedlock? Did her husband die?)  Is that you in 3 years??? Maybe your sister just cares about you and thinks he is taking advantage of you. If he isn't - maybe you should tell her you chose this lifestyle and you are happy (are you?) with it..but take my advice about school - I can guess he wouldn't want you to because you might aspire to be something other than his slave ...sorry...just the way I see it.