How do i tell my 4 year old-son,that me and his daddy are divorced,and where is his DAD??

Question

his DAD stopped visiting him 2 years ago, my son was 2 years, so he dosen't really remember his Dad!! and now he started saying that he dosen't have a dad, which makes me feel helpless! and i don't know what to say.

Answer 1

You don't have to say anything really.  As far as the child support goes...take the father to court for it.  If you continue to allow him to NOT pay that is YOUR fault not his.  

Answer 2

You would be surprised at how well your child understands if you just explain to him the situation. Parents these days are so intent upon sheltering their children that they would rather make up a story or dumb it down just to get at "their level". Children are very resilient. Their ability to comprehend adult situations would surprise many parents.

Remind him that you love him very much and nothing he does will change that. Tell him he does have a father who can't be here to see him right now, but that doesn't mean his father doesn't love him. He will ask where his father is and why he doesn't want to be there..... tell him the truth. Tell him about the divorce and how you two are better apart and that Daddy needs to stay away awhile. Always be honest. Don't make things up (daddy's hiding, he went on a trip, etc.); this will only further confuse your child when he can't find him or daddy never comes home.

I am a child of divorce. My father left when I was also 2 years old. I don't ever remember him being around through my childhood. He was a drunk and drug addict and didn't want to parent young children. He came back when I was 13... then, he wanted to be more a best friend than a father figure. Now, at 24, I realize what and who my father is. My mother never lied to us about him.. but she never spoke ill of him either. She constantly answered questions truthfully. She let my sister and I come to our own conclusions about him.

I know this is a difficult situation. Speaking with a child psychologist or family psychologist can ease the burden. Even attending counseling together can help you and your son adjust to such a life changing event. Remember, be honest.... it's what you would want, so does your child. Good luck :)

Answer 3

tell him he used to have a daddy, but he had to go away for whatever reason seems appropriate. work issues seem to go down well!

then tell him that he doesn't need a daddy as he's got a super smart mum who can do all mummy and daddy jobs.

tell him lots of people don't have daddies.

try to find some other single parents nearby so he can meet other kids in the same situation.

it might help to let him have a photo of daddy if you have one.  

Answer 4

I think tell him the truth, he might not thank you later in years if you sugar coat everything now. He has a dad, tell him this. Did he have to go some where to work, like a different country?

Your son might like to find hes dad when he is old enough.

Answer 5

dont tell him the truth yet. hes still too little to understand. so to make it easy for him to understand. i think u should tell him. daddy lives really far away. make excuses for his dad. even though u really dont want to do that im sure. cuz whats he doing. but u have to. for you son. cuz by telling him the truth about his dad. he'll think that its his fault and he doesnt like or want him.  im sure u guys are going through a tough time right now. and i hope it gets better for ur son eventually he'll get use to him not being around. and feel a lil normal again. what he needs right now from u. is to be postive for him.  so and try and see if that works for him.  good luck and stay strong!

Answer 6

he may not understand it but you need to be as honest as you can about it cause as he gets older he will only have more questions and if you lie about it now it'll get harder and harder to tell the truth. tell him what you know and let him form his own opinion of his dad as he grows if one day he decides he wants to find his dad then fine or he may say forget him all together. my brother doesnt know his dad and was filled with questions about the man as he grew up and my mom for the most part was honest his dad used to beat her up so she left that part out but other then that was honest he is now 22 and could care less about his dad and where he is or what hes doing but at least he knows that he does have a father out there somewhere.