How do i tell my 7 year old about s*x?

Question

my 7 year old step daughter has recently srated to ask about s*x scince she found out i was pregnant, her mums told her to ask her dad and we are both unsure of what to tell her and how much detail to give. any ideas?

Answer 1

Ok shes way too young to fully understand what 'happens'. Tell her that mummy and daddy love each other very much and the stork is gonna give them a baby.

Thats what my mum told me when i was 9!!!

Or you could just avoid it, and wait til the school tells them all.

Thank god for s*x Ed class! lol

Answer 2

as little as possible, why would a 7 yr old want to know about s*x?

Answer 3

Just say it as it is.  If you think s*x is dirty,  then  kids will also think that way. They ask because they are curious to know what s*x is all about.  If they don't get  straight answers from you,  they will find out through other people and they'll get even more curious that they eventually experiment about s*x.  Encourage her to ask questions then answer it as straightforward as you can. You can do it. I talked to my son about s*x early as 3 yrs old. Very important to tell them their private parts should not be touched by other people.

Answer 4

You could side step it and tell her you'll tell her when she's older. If you want you could simplify it a lot, or use one of those strange euphemisms like "they have a special cuddle". Or buying a book is a good idea because they explain it in simple terms so you don't have to rack your brain trying to think of a nice way to put it.

Answer 5

just do not tell her.

Answer 6

Geez Louise, folks.  Are we living in the Dark Ages?  I'm so sorry for those of you who grew up with parents who did not discuss things about the normal facts of life openly.  This is why people only view the body as sexual - because everything natural is taboo to talk about!  I can't even breastfeed my child in public without someone looking at me sideways...

I knew exactly what s*x was when I was 5.  Literally - I knew the body parts and the names of them and what happens afterward and everything.  My mom just sat me down whenever I asked about something.  I don't remember exactly but I know she would always answer with a straight face and be matter-of-fact this-is-the-way-it-is with no emotion as to right or wrong.  She explained it as if she was explaining how the plumbing worked, ya know?  Not very fascinating, scientific type answers.  It is what it is.

Children should understand how their bodies work.  It doesn't encourage sexual behavior or anything along those lines.  I didn't have s*x until I was out of high school and I was with the guy I thought I would marry (which didn't happen but that was his fault).

There are really great books out there if you'd like some help but I think just sitting her down and starting with "s*x is when a man and a woman decide they want to make a baby..."  As she gets older and has more questions you can explain that sometimes a man and a woman have s*x because they love each other and they enjoy being intimate with one another but it should be with the person that you choose to be your lifelong mate and want to have babies with.  This should also be the conversation that you explain sexual health (stds, contraceptives) so that she understands that s*x is a 'deep' topic that has a lot of consideration surrounding it regarding physical, emotional and mental things.

Where has the open communication gone?  Maybe that's why teens are acting out these days.  Human bodies have become nothing but sexual objects because they aren't being taught any differently.  And I agree with the other poster who mentioned all the dumb pregnancy questions... Maybe if they had parents to go to who gave them real answers instead of Santa Claus they wouldn't be 14 and scared to death that they're pregnant.

I commend you for looking into this and wanting to discuss this instead of ignoring the topic.  Wouldn't you rather your child (or stepchild) get answers and opinions from you instead of others (who may or may not have the 'right' ones)?

Answer 7

you dont

Answer 8

Hi,

I put this into Amazon and gave me loads of great books that be fantastic for you and your step-daughter.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_b/20...

Lx

Answer 9

I've been pretty open with my son since he was very young (He's now 5). My friend is now pregnant and he talked to her the other day saying he knows that her boyfriend put a seed into her which got together with her egg and made a baby. He's amazed by it but not scared. He's asked how the seed gets into the woman and I've answered as honestly as i can while keeping it simple.

He knows a bit about condoms and the pill as he's seen them and asked what they are. He's very matter of fact about it all. As long as you don't make a big deal of it I don't think they do.

Answer 10

Just tell her that when two people love each other and want a baby that God created a special way of them doing that. And tell her when she is older you will explain all about it but that she really doesnt need to know all about it yet.

Answer 11

There are some REALLY good books out there from ages 5 upwards. They are like layers on how deep you wish to go. Very VERY delicate as well. Try the local library or Amazon.

xxFJ

Answer 12

I knew about s*x when I was about 7 after I was off school and watched a school programme about it.

I understood it perfectly.

My advise would be to buy one of these All about your body books which has a section that deals with reproduction. That way she can read it and if she has any questions then she can ask you.

Incidentally the mother sounds like a waste of space.

Answer 13

whatever you do, don't tell her "stork" stories!!! you want her to be able to trust the information that you give her. at seven she doesn't need a s*x education lesson with anatomy and all. just let her know that when a woman and a man love eachother like mom and dad do, they can make a baby and the baby grows in the belly. just go from there, most kids are very curious since it IS strange and mysterious but don't lie and make up fantastical "fairy tales".

you don't want her to be one of those girls on here in a few years asking all of these dumb pregnancy questions.

good luck!

Answer 14

hi Maria i have a suggestion to ur question. jus to let u kno im sixteen goin on seventeen. well when i was around seven i wasnt really curious about s*x but my older sister thought that i should at least know somethin about it because i was getting older. she told me straight up that i should always use protection and she made my brother in law show me how to use a condom. i think u should do the same dont hide it from her because chances are that if she doesnt know about s*x she'll become curious an might do somethin she will regret in the future. im in high school and i've seen 14 and 15 year old chicks wit kids. you should explain to her how to protect herself and tell her the dangers of havin s*x. im not sayin scare the junk outa her but in general details let her kno wat it is. i hope this helps u out. laterz

Answer 15

Rent a porno and let her watch it!

Answer 16

Well, it really depends on your personal beliefs, but I'd suggest telling her, in simple terms, the mechanics of s*x, contraception, ovulation, periods, and birth, because she'll probably start menstruating in a few years and she'll freak out if she just starts bleeding without knowing why.

I assume she already knows that men and women are built differently, but make sure she knows the correct terms for the genitals.

My suggestion is saying something along the lines of this.

"When a woman and a man are in love and want a baby, they have something called s*x. s*x is where a man and a woman  cuddle very close, so close that the man's p***s goes into the woman's v****a.

They wiggle around a little, because there are lots of nerves down there and it feels good, and then they get a really nice feeling called an o****m that's like a big shiver all over. At the same time, some sticky stuff called s***n comes out of the man's p***s. The s***n has tiny little things called sperm in it, which look like little tadpoles! [Insert giggle here]

The sperm swim up the woman's v****a until they get to her uterus, which is also called a womb - it's in your tummy, about the middle of it, and it's sort of shaped like an upside-down pear. When the sperm get there, they wait around for an egg - an egg is a special kind of cell which gets popped out of the woman's ovaries, which produce them, about once a month, and travels down to the uterus. The ovaries are next to the uterus, and they're connected by long tubes. It kind of looks like a the uterus has two long arms and pitcher's gloves on both hands! [More giggles]

If the egg doesn't meet any sperm, it travels out through the v****a, and the uterus (which had been making a squishy lining, because if the egg got fertilised, the egg would go over to the side of the uterus and sit there while it grows and it needs the lining to give it food) doesn't need the lining any more, so the lining comes out of the v****a in what is called a menstrual period. The lining looks like blood and it takes about five days to all come out.

When the period is over, the man and the woman can have s*x again to try for a baby. However, sometimes the man and the woman don't want a baby, so they use something called contraception, which stops the woman getting pregnant. Some kinds of contraception stop the egg popping out of the ovaries, and some are made of a kind of plastic and go over the p***s to stop the s***n getting into the v****a.

If one of the sperm meets an egg, the sperm "jumps" inside the egg. This fertilises the egg. When an egg is fertilised, it splits into two cells, and splits again, into four, and again, into eight, and it keeps splitting until it's a small ball of cells. It goes over to the wall of the uterus and attaches itself there. The cells keep splitting and eventually the cells start to shape themselves into what looks a bit like a baby, although it has a tail and big googly eyes, and a long cord called the umbilical cord where your bellybutton is. It feeds the foetus (that's what it's called now that it looks a bit like a baby) and it's attached to a placenta, which is shaped like a big fat pancake and is all red and gooey. The placenta is stuck to the lining of the uterus, where the fertilised egg had been.

Anyway, the baby keeps growing, and eventually it starts actually looking like a baby. It keeps growing in the uterus for nine months, and the woman's tummy gets bigger and bigger. Sometimes it looks like she's got a soccer ball stuck on her tummy, but it's really a baby in there!

So after nine months, the woman starts getting pains in her tummy called contractions. They are actually the uterus starting to push the baby out. When this happens, the woman goes to the hospital/calls her midwife/calls her doctor to come and help her. The contractions get more and more painful and come more and more often until the baby starts to come out and the woman has to push really hard, a bit like when you have to do a really big poo. [Even more giggles]

When the woman pushes, the baby comes out. It hurts a lot, because the v****a has to stretch a lot to let the baby come out. The head comes out first, and then the body.

When the baby's out, he/she screams a lot, because it's a lot colder and brighter than he/she was used to in the womb. The doctor/midwife cuts the baby's umbilical cord off because now he/she is out, he/she can eat like people do, through the mouth. There's a bit of cord left, but it falls off and leaves a bellybutton after a while.

The woman has to push out the placenta too, because once the baby's out, it's not needed any more. It's not as hard as pushing the baby out, because it's so soft and squishy.

Then the new mummy and daddy get to hold the baby. The mummy's b*****s have been making milk all through the pregnancy, and that milk is especially for the baby to eat. When the baby is put to his/her mum's breast, he/she sucks the milk from the nipple.

Giving birth really hurts. But it's so-o-o-o worth it! [Big grin]"

Then ask if she has any questions.

Just make sure she knows the mechanics now. She doesn't need to know the emotional side of things yet, but if she doesn't understand what happens soon, then it'll be even harder to tell her.

Answer 17

Does she actually ask about "s*x"? Or does she ask about how babies are made?

Don't give a seven year old too much detail. You shouldn't tell her about the act of s*x itself, but you can tell her that a man fertilizes a woman etc.

Be careful how much you tell her because she's likely to tell her friends - and you'll get some angry calls from other moms.