How do i tell my MOH no?

Question

my MOH and another friend are hosting my bridal shower. my MOH bakes cakes as a hobby, but they have always been 'homemade' looking. she wants to make the cake for my shower, but i don't want her too. they never turn out well, she always switches things around in the recipe, and she tries to do things beyond her skill level. how do i tell my MOH that i want her to buy the cake?

Answer 1

Talk to your mom or something and ask them to go order and buy a cake.

Then tell your MOH that your mom wanted to contribute by ordering a cake.  

Answer 2

That is very rude.

She is planning the shower and offering a very nice gesture.

You can't ask someone to SPEND MONEY (ie buy the cake), again rude..

Homemade cakes are from the heart.

Bring some ice cream people can soak there cake with the ice cream if it tastes bad. I have done this to not be rude.

Answer 3

I don't think there's anything wrong with 'home-made' looking, so long as it tastes good.

But I do see a problem if a) it doesn't taste good or b) it looks like a kid did it.

Either way I do think you should get a cake from somewhere else.

One poster had a good idea, you could tell her she has to stick to a specific recipe due to allergies.

You could tell her that your Mom is bringing one as a gift.  

You could go to a nice/fancy bakery, find a cake you've been wanting to try (or really like) and buy it.  

Or just say "Thanks for the offer, but I really think you've done a lot for me already and I'd feel bad if I know you spent so much more time on it than is really necessary.  I'd rather just have a sheet cake, it's quick, and much easier for you guys."

Or request a photo-cake, or ice-cream cake, or something with fondant or a lot of piping.  

If she insists, and you can't get her to back down, maybe you should insist that your other friend helps her (of course explain the situation to the friend first), or say you've changed your mind and will just be buying dainties.

But in the case that for some reason she does make it, warn your family ahead of time so that they don't say anything.  You don't want your MOH to feel bad at all.  Tell them they can talk about it as much as they want after she leaves, but not a whisper while she's there.  Unless they're completely unreasonable people, this should work just fine.  

Answer 4

Why not just ask her to not decorate it as much? That way you get to eat a nice cake instead of having to buy one, and it won't look clumsy.  

Answer 5

You are a beast.

Answer 6

Don't say anything.  It is your bridal shower and you shouldn't have any say.  You shouldn't know anything about it.  It is supposed to be a surprise.  Don't be a bridezilla.

Answer 7

i think it would be rude to do that....if it was for the wedding that would be one thing but just the bridal shower i think she might take it as a slap in the face.

Answer 8

Maybe you can give her a super elaborate picture of a cake you want, one you know that her 'skills' won't be able to create, (extreme detailing, special fondant, etc.) Once she hesitates, say, "Oh, don't worry, if this is too much for you, we can just buy the cake!"..So it seems like you are doing HER a favor.

I have a friend that did the exact same thing to me. She just started her hobby in cake-making and...to be honest, she's not that good. I support her though, don't take me wrong. She made the cake for my bridal shower, and everyone threw it in the trash as soon as she left. YEAH. I didn't think the cake would turn out that bad.

If all fails and you just want to buy the cake, just say that you would like to buy a cake to save her time, money, etc. etc.

Answer 9

Excuse me!!! The party is in your honor; and you have nothing at all to do with it other than to show up in the proper dress and frame of mind, and to be gracious. It's not your business what the cake looks like, what food is served, how clean the bathrooms are, if the floor was mopped, what the hostesses wear, etc. Because you are a gracious lady, you are grateful they are doing this for you, and you are very thankful. If your family acts improper then it reflects on them and not on the MOH or you. Keep out of it, and enjoy the shower that your friends want to give for you!

Answer 10

Just tell her "it's a nice thought, but I already picked out a cake that I wanted." , and end it there. Save her the embaressement, and save yourself the embaressement too.

Cathy

Answer 11

Just let her bake the cake. It means so much to her and it's a very small thing in the grand scheme of life. It's just a shower, not your wedding cake. Anything you say to her will come off as mean and shallow, even if you don't mean it that way. Spare her feelings, enjoy her cake, and be sure to compliment her on it afterward.

Answer 12

You don't!  Your Mom is hosting the shower and has every right to bake you a cake no matter how it turns out.  Don't worry about this.  Really she is just embarrassing herself!  Maybe you can show up with a cake also so that your guests have a choice!

Answer 13

Don't tell her no. If she is not embarrassed by the cake, why should you be? That is sweet she wants to make it and really you have no say if someone else is paying. If you are worried say "you guys have such a financial burden with all of this, I am going to take care of the cake." If she still wants to make it and your friends already know, then tell your family ahead of time to act their age and not insult your friend by saying a kid made it. They can do that behind her back later I'm sure. I mean, cake is really not that important. Making your friend happy is more important.

Answer 14

Since when do shower cakes have to be fancy shmancy?  What is wrong with a "homemade" cake?

Answer 15

-Buy a plain cake together and  ask her to decorate it instead.

-Get the party catered and tell her that a cake is already included (whether it is or isn't)

- Tell her your Mother in  law has offered to make the cake and you want to  get in to her good books so you said that  she could.

-  Let her make the  cake but tell her that some of your guests have certain allergies and that she must stick to a recipe (that you choose together)  or  the shower  will probably end  with a trip to the nearest emergency room