How do i tell my boyfriend its time to grow up!? ?

Question

me And my boyfriend live with his parents and have been for the last two years. honestly its starting to get old! I'm ready to do something with my life. I feel like neither of us are going anywhere. I'm finishing up my associate's and he's not even going to school anymore. he is an assistant manager at a sports store in a mall, he thinks this is some kind of a career. he only makes $8.50 an hour! I keep trying to tell him we need to move forward. he needs to go to school figure out what he wants to do! We need to do something... he says i just want to get an apartment but its way more then that... how can i explain to him that he needs to grow up and move forward without sounding like i'm criticizing him?

P.s. I also think his family is holding him back. They aren't very motivated either. his parents do everything for him and encourage him to waste his money basically on anything he wants (he is about 7,000 in debt besides his car and crotch rocket. shouldn't parents be encouraging you to save, move out and start your life. How do i explain to him that hes 22 and it's time to do something else with our lives?

Answer 1

it sounds like his parents are giving him tough love.  but if you want to move on, then tell him you can't live like this and hopefully he'll understand

Answer 2

blond22, My dear all that you can do is be honest.Just sit down in private with no distractions and have him read what you just wrote. then tell him to make his choice. If he wants to move forward with you then do it or you will go on alone.Do it now while you are young, life is too precious to waste !

Answer 3

maybe you could show him what you mean. at night come out in some s**y lingerie and get him kinda horny then tell him that you are going to be moving out and you would like it if he joined you. do something to make him want to be with you! tell him that livingg with his parents is kinda creepy because its like 24/7 parent supervision. let him know how you feel. tell him what you want.  

Answer 4

There are many thing s you can do, but it's going to be tough.

1) Talk to your boy friend alone in a room and ask him that does he             want to stay in a shop all his life and is there any thing else he is interested in like business or accountant or being a doctor....These jobs have got salary more than a lousy 8.5 an hour...tell him that that if he can earn more, he and you can buy your own car, big house....luxurious things, OK?

2) Tell him that you love him and what ever you're doing to help move on would benefit him

3) Doe he have his own role model ?

like a movie star, sports person or tycoon...... if he does...tell him that this person is successful because of working and earning big and this person wasn't dependent on his parents

4) Talk to your parents as well...they know what to do

5) if things don't work out properly...then pretend to be sad and cry and don't talk to him.... ..he'll see which girl would love a man earning 8.5 an hour.

You can also ask Dr.Phil ( do u know him) on   www.drphil.com

Good Luck!!

Answer 5

I would defiantly make 100% sure he's ready before you push to hard. It's a rough world out there on your own despite the privacy issues and stuff like that i can understand you wanting to move out but with a car and motorcycle payment, insurance, cell phone, cable, electric, water, rent, food, gas, misc school expense for you, are you sure you all can make it on an 8.00 an hour job?

Maybe you guys can try and "grow up" after you've gotten out of school and got a job yourself. You WILL need both incomes just to cover gas with these prices. Good luck and don't be in to big of a hurry, if his parents are flipping the bill let for as long as you can, I would have knowing what I know now. There's no going back!

Answer 6

At least he has a job.  That's a start.

Since you almost have an associates, maybe you can set a good example by starting to move forward yourself and see if he moves along with you.  Start looking for your own little apartment when you finish your degree and get a job.

Don't let him mess up your credit with his bad debt habits.  You are young and that kind of stuff can totally wreck you financially.

Answer 7

tell him wat you think and just try to explain why