How do i tell my parents that i really do not want to go to college?

Question

i firmly believe that true knowledge should be experienced and not read about. i also believe that i dont want kids, i dont want to move to the suburbs, and i really dont want to work in a cubicle. i dont want to do any sort of math or science and jobs that deal with math and science are going to be the only jobs i can get with a degree that make a lot of money. and i dont want a lot of money! i like to have few possessions - it makes me feel free! i have educated myself in buddhism and taoism and philosophy and those would be the only things that i would want to study in college, but i really dont want to follow another person's interpretation of life - i want my own! i want to live on my own and know what it truly means to live! i am a senior in high school and my parents are pressuring me into going to college. how do i tell them i dont want to go? i know it may be the wrong decision, but our lives are defined by our struggles and if i have a huge struggle to overcome, like poverty coming from a lack of education, then my life will be greater. please, dont tell me i am young and i dont know anything and that i should go to college. everyone's different and i believe that one persons interpretation of happiness will be different from another's. i cant blindly accept everyones idea that college will make me happy, just as i cant blindly accept christianity! i need to find things out for myself, and if i find out i should go to college, then ill go. but right now, i dont see myself needing to. so, yeah, how do i tell my parents i dont want to go?

Answer 1

I would tell them the same way you told us.

I went through the same thing. It was very hard for my father.

It seems that parents are most often looking out for the security of their children. I don't know your parents, but I'm guessing that they will think you've lost it or that you are running away.

Anyway, regarding how to tell them, I would start out by saying exactly what you have stated in your question here. Don't bother trying to convince them at the moment you tell them. Its only going to build their ressistence if you try too hard to make them understand the very first time you tell them of your plan. I would keep it simple and short. After you have said your peace, know that peace will not come to them immediately. Its like you're dropping a bomb, so try to be gentle and understanding of their understanding.

When you have made your initial message of what you want to do, I suggest leaving them to themselves for a bit so that the dust can clear and their emotions can settle. When you feel like you, and them, are over the initial conversation, then you will have some kind of chance in coming to a better understanding as a group.

By the way, as far as I go, my father seems to be very happy with me as a person. I know that he knows that my living in a zen temple has a lot to do with who I am today. It took time. Its unbelievable how love can help a person to really change.

Answer 2

Just tell them. Why not study Buddhism? Take a year off to find yourself, and work ! They can't complain if you want to make your life, and aren't just taking up space in their house.. However, I left high school, and was hired in at an Oil and Gas company making the big $$, but it all folded, and I too had to start over. That's life. I wished for an education then, and mostly college is a party, where you really make lifelong friends, which, I didn't becuz I was already working. I also know some who have the college degree, and have never used it. Some hated their chosen career (on Wall Street, no less!) and moved where they wanted to and opened a restaurant. Very successful and very happy, without the suit and stress! Not using the degree! Just tell them, and also tell them you don't want to waste the $$. Pick a timeframe that's good for you to find yourself. You may change your mind... quite possibly a few times!

Answer 3

At least consider a vocational program at the local community college. They have a lot of good 2-year degrees. Since you hate dealing with numbers, how about looking at the lotus growing in the mud... as in working with your hands at a real trade.  Plumbers, A/C & heating technicians, electricians, car mechanics, and machinists are all doing really well. Especially the CNC machinists out here in the oil patch... we can't get enough of them here in Houston!

Answer 4

I feel your pain. My parents are college educated, when they got divorced, my mom married a man who became my stepdad and he was also college educated. At 18 I went off to college and did so poorly that I dropped out. I probably wouldn't have lasted as long as I did if I hadn't been so pressured by them to go, particularly my mom.

Do not go to college for your parents because if you do then it won't mean anything to you. You should go to college when you are ready, or not at all. But if you still want a degree, these days employers view a college degree as a complete education.

You can major in the liberal arts (english, philosophy, etc.) There are lots of jobs out there that do not require a specialization ( a degree in accounting, business, nursing, m.d. etc.) You could even major in the arts like illustration, fine arts, theatre, etc. Its still a four year degree.

Many jobs just want you to have a four year college degree and they do not care what its in. As long as you have one, you would have opportunities for raises, promotions, etc.

EDIT: Just tell them what you told us, chances are they will not be very happy to hear it but they have to hear it sooner or later. Do what you want dear, its your life, you have to live it for yourself and be happy with yourself and your life. You can't live life for your parents or anyone else.