How do i tell this rider?

Question

Okay, so this is rather not nice, but I don't know how to say it.

Okay, here's how it goes.

Dangerzone Horses is like a horse rescue center, where we sell horses that people don't want anymore or they don't have time to post ads about in the newspapers and such. I do all those things, and keep in mind I am a 5'8" 129lb female advanced + rider. It looks good when I am making videos of the horses to post on youtube to sell, but this one lady, is about 5'5" and well over 300 lbs. How do I tell her that

a] the horses really don't want her on their back.

b] it doesn't look good for the potential buyers when they see her riding.

I am at a loss of words.

help, advice? anything?

Answer 1

Well, you're going to think this is not nice either.

I looked at all the videos, & I looked at your website. And you know what? She rides better than anyone else I saw.  Good seat, good hand, good leg. Yeah, shes big. She probably knows it, ya think? That horse didn't look unhappy to be carrying her either.

Yeah, the shorts aren't a great idea. But in Florida in the summertime? Its not surprising. It doesn't bother me too much. In most of the other videos, you have a girl in strapless tank tops, flip-flops or sneakers & no helmet. Not any more professional looking, if you ask me. And not that you asked, but I think you should know that all of the videos are really awful - horrible quality, bad riding, and what is up with the junk all over your riding area?

If your videos are so great, where are they? I would love to see them.

And btw, this mare-  http://youtube.com/watch?v=lJtX2oN_4J8

is listed as good for beginners & "anyone can ride" - this is supposed to be a sales video?  the only way this would sell horses is if people buy them because they feel sorry for the horses and want to rescue them from your farm! But this isn't your video either right? Because this sure as heck doesn't look good to potential buyers.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but hey,- I'm rarely at a loss for words.

Answer 2

Are you incharge or is she a co-worker. I you are a co-worker then just skip my answer.

I would revise all the barn rules and add some new ones that pertain to people above a certain weight riding the horses in videos. Make them apply to everyone who is there or will work there.

Revising all the rules should help keep her from feeling singled out. During the same time you might want to do a small gift to all workers or volunteers to make them feel apperciated. If she has a real problem with not being able to ride in the videos then its her problem. You need to do what is right for the horses.

I agree though....YIKES!

- Katie

EDIT: I watched a couple of the videos and if I were running the businnes then I would remake all the videos. Find a nice public equestrian facility and rent a ring for the day (its generally not to expensive). Find a rider or two with really nice equitation and have them take each horse through their gaits in the ring for the video. If I were looking into adopting/buying from yall I would not be impressed with the videos. There are a couple where the rider and surroundings got my attention before the horse did. Redoing the videos would take like a day of riding and two days of working on the computer. That would also solve your problem of the overweight rider.

Answer 3

First off, the video for Nicci was pretty bad. Whoever was riding her wasn't making her happy, her head was high in the air, ears pinned, avoiding the rider, refusing to work, etc. And whoever was swaying side to side on her back while she was standing, what was that supposed to show? Then when the rider stood up and jumped back down on the horse's back, that was horrible, you saw the horse cringe in discomfort and her whole body moved, because the rider landed so hard on her, that was unfair. honestly. So about the over weight rider, maybe put her on bigger horses than the small ones. That horse looked too small for her, guarenteed, but she isn't a horrible rider, she can complete basic tasks, despite her size. The horse wasn't avoiding the bit or anything. I dont know if it was just the horses or what. I dont know what you would tell her expcept put her on bigger horses, and remake all those videos, they arent displaying the horses at their best. If i were looking at those horses to buy, i would turn my head and keep looking because some the videos were not showing the horse at their best. The riders in all the videos could dress more professionally too, jeans, nice shirt, and boots, not flip flops, spaghetti strap tanks tops, tennis shoes, they need to be dressed like riders. The video quality could be better too, way fuzzy. Sorry thats not exactly what you were asking, but some things needed some constructive criticism, to improve the sales of the horses and their videos.

Answer 4

Ummmm, maybe somebody who "see's" the video could call the center and say something and express their thoughts.

It's difficult to be politically correct here..although the thing that I find more offensive is her riding attire.  She should be dressed more appropriately and from a videographer's point of view perhaps you can say that it does not look professional or becoming to show the horse like that.  I did not look at other videos but if all the riders wear long pants and boots then she should be required to also.

Could something "happen" to the video and it have to be re done?

Answer 5

i can see what you mean but its a tricky situation i agree... i dont think you should just beat around the bush about it... bluntly if you are selling a horse you need the rider or handler that will show the horse to the best of its ability... im sorry but you need to tell her that the horse realy isnt working at his best ability maby I could get on and see if he realy shows what he got... I know horses are steady strong animals but the extra weight can potentaily cause back pain.. thats why i long line and drive my show horses so they develope the musles. If you realy think the horse didnt show his best potential say that... and that maby another rider would be a good idea...  I feel your pain.. I hate to be mean... I manage my barn and I have a couple  large girls that are on lesson program I needed to say upfrount the reason why she was limited to the horses they could ride. It is hard.. but I see it as a good thing because horses are great exercise..... sooo i wish you the best of luck and some times if you just speak up... they will repect you better... just dont be mean... I was also wondering to you still have that mini potato i think.. the stallion for sale... i will send a email..

Answer 6

Maybe ask her to wear long pants and hard soled boots with a dark shirt to look more professional? I don't know this is a hard one... that horse looks way to small for her to be riding... and when she gets off she clings to the side and the saddle gets pushed to the horses side. The horse doesn't look comfy. I would just tell her the truth and be bold with what you say either she will be mature and understand then let someone lighter ride for the video or she will move her business somewhere else and you won't have to worry about it... this is a pretty tough question.

Answer 7

Im sorry but I going to have to agree with DaisyKJ on this one.

The other lady may not look like a picture riding the horses, but the horses shes riding are much better behaved and perform so much better.

To call yourself an advanced + rider is an insult to the real advanced riders out there. Wearing joggers riding? Stirrups too short? Dropping down on the horses back???

The horses you were riding were irritated and clearly had a problem with you. As a potential buyer I would be put off if a horse was acting like it does as you were riding them in the videos.

While you ride ok, to big note yourself and say your advanced is a joke, please get some riding lessons and earn your advanced + status, or be real and admit your pretty average.

Answer 8

If you are an employer,

I would just encourage her to wear something a little more professional that is loose fitting.and maybe a darker color. If you are a co-worker I would just make a point of mentioning how you were going to start dressing more for the video... and maybe she will get the hint or maybe you can just say lets go shopping and pick something out together. I watched some of the other videos and you (or the blonde if it isn't you) weren't dressed very properly either... Tennis shoes and a tight fitting halter top? That screams look at me and not the horse.

About the weight thing, As long as she gets on the stronger horses she will be fine.. unless they have a bad back or something to begin with. I don't think it is right to not let her or make a big deal out of her riding a horse on the video. She isn't jerking him around and putting to much strain on him. (besides when she is getting off and probably when getting on) But a mounting box will fix that.

Also...

A) It looked like the horses were more tempermental with you on their back (standing up then plopping down on their back) then her sitting comfortably and

B) Potential buyers aren't going to be looking at the rider Unless the rider is in skimpy clothes or the rider is about their weight. Because you see not every person that rides horse are little. You would be suprised at how many "heavy" people like riding horses to. If I were heavier I would be looking to see if the horse could support my weight.

It might not be all to bad that she is riding in the videos... My vote is she rides and you video! It seems like you are just a little full of yourself, maybe watching someone who isn't trying to find reasons for you not to ride isn't a bad lesson to learn.

Don't get in to deep because trying to get someone not to do something because of their weight might end up in a law suit if it goes to far.

Answer 9

I honestly don't think any of the videos are that great and they could all use some work if you are really trying to sell these horses.  They aren't good enough to tell what a horse is like from the quality and performance.  Usually people take a horse through its gaits in a ring...not just ride it around helter skelter in a trashy back yard.  I think that anyone riding for professional sales videos needs to look more professional and ride more professionally.  I was not impressed.  I thought the larger lady actually rode pretty well.  She didn't seem off balance or bouncy or hard handed.  The other videos...not so much.  Especially when you kneel on that horse and then DROP on it's back.  You can see the poor thing buckle.  Yet I didn't see the horse the larger lady was riding buckle under  her.

Take a look at the big picture and at yourself before you go singling this woman out.

Answer 10

If you are the tall, trim woman in a number of the other videos that I viewed then you are not in a position to criticise the heavier woman who has a better seat and softer hands. If that's not you then I apologise. The videos with the thinner woman do not look good at all, she looks rather awkward and inexperienced with heavy hands, legs all over the place and an unbalanced seat. Judging by the head tossing and general behaviour of some of those horses, they don't want that woman on their backs. The horse who had the larger woman on her back actually looked quite comfortable with the situation.

edit: my goodness, if that's you riding Nicci please get some lessons before you damage a good horse.

Answer 11

Absolutely gorgeous horse and she does seem to handle the situation quite well, at least she does keep the horse to a walk.

Maybe thats what you can say each time this lady rides a horse for potential sale.

I would make sure that she only gets the horses that are very sturdy and able to handle the weight for a short time.

I would ask her to dress accordingly because you are showcasing the talents of the horse and you want potential buyers to see what the horse would look like with someone on his back with the appropriate attire ( you would have to do this to and anyone else who ride the horses for sale purposes ).  You could say that we have decided to wear proper riding clothes to present a more professional approach after all this is still a business.

Ask her to keep the horse to a walk as they look quieter therefore they are more appealing to a broader range of  clientele. This way she is not going to hurt the horses back  too much.

And please ask her to dismount by taking both feet out of the stirrups before she swings her leg over as this could be dangerous if the horse decides to move off with one foot left in the stirrup.

Also give her something to stand on to mount the horse so she doesn't twist the horses back will mounting.

I would just say that you are applying these rules to every one that way she won't feel singled out.

In any case good luck.

Answer 12

Do you own the business?  If not, keep quiet.  If you do, you can either limit her to the horses that are proportionally acceptable or give her more barn chores instead.  If you aren't her employer, you shouldn't say a word about it.  It will never sound right, coming from you, no matter how tactful you try to be.

__________________________________

Edit:  After some consideration of the answers below, and observing the other videos posted by you on youtube, I have to add:

Body isn't everything.  The videos are full of rider errors, all four of them.  But the ones of the big girl are not nearly as evident as your own (the blonde rider in the other three videos).  I think you have overrated yourself as an "advanced+ rider" and saying "it looks good when I am making videos of the horses..."  I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but your riding does not look good.  The horses looked irritated, high-headed, resistant to direction, and generally ill-at-ease.  I am not an English rider, but even I could spot problems with your jumping position.  The horses would be better shown with no rider at all, because of the head-tossing, fighting the bit, etc.   With the exception of Sassy, the other two mares looked half-trained.  

I apologize for being critical, but in this case it appears the pot is calling the kettle black.  The girl you're referring to did a better job at showing the horse for sale...I didn't see any head-tossing or wringing tails or jump refusals in her video.

Answer 13

Sometimes you have to be mean. We run the same type of farm here. I tell all the girls that I don't want to see anything bounce or flop. I don't care if they have to use duct tape. I am forward and honest. Two of the girls that ride here are heavier in the belly. Not as big as the girl in the video, not even close. They both bought corsets to show it. Lycra is not flattering on rolls. Sorry to anyone offended, but we all know it is true. Tell her your thoughts. She will either hate you or take the advice. That's up to her. On the plus side, that must be one smooth mare because I didn't see barely any jiggle anywhere.

Answer 14

OMG...I see what you mean.

Yikes!  

Unfortunately, I don't think that there is a tactful way to say that.  You could just remake all the videos and never post her videos, she may eventually get the hint.  On the other hand, look at it this way, someone may see the ad and feel extra sorry for the horse?  Yikes, that was extra mean of me.  I'm really not like that.  Honestly, though, she is too heavy to be on a lot of horses.

Sorry to not have helped you...at least I agreed and understood????? Misery loves company?

On another note, the Rocky Mount is beautiful!

EDIT:  I want Illusion!!

Answer 15

To Tell You the truth she looks to tall for that horse,but i dont think the horse would mind the weight because the weight limit for a horses back is like 500lbs.

Answer 16

That is very bad, i see what you meen, if you sell her that horse the horse might get back problems ect and become lame! some how, i dont know how, dont let her buy the horse!

Answer 17

yes i agree with you she could loose a little, but you have no place to say wether or not she can ride. At least shes getting some exerscisse. You have no room to judge anyone on their riding and their weight. If the POTENTIAL BUYERS are really interested in the horse they will look past the rider and look at the horse, thats what a true buyer does. So i would say drop it and leave her alone. Unless shes hurting the horse, and by the way the horse would tell you, they let her be.

Answer 18

Well if youre coworkers theres really nothing you can say. I don't personally know if it will hurt the horses backs but I would have her dress a little more professionally. Maybe if she did that and wore a dark coat it would look a little better. But that is a really tough situation, you just have to choose a decision and go with it.

Answer 19

That was very cruel, I am sure she would be the first to refrain from mounting a smaller animal, this mare is not freaking out under her even at the dismount. The horse of Knights in armor had to carry much weight. I don't think you will have to say a word this post and video should shame her as much as you wished to do. Being cruel is not the answer.

Answer 20

bring a cake and some brownies to work the day of the shoot, she'll be so distracted you'll have to get someone else to ride

Answer 21

im a larger rider. at a size 16  in austrlian terms, but unfortunatly that is jsut rediculas, honey i dont know what u can say

Answer 22

u can politely say to her, "im sorry but the video is done and we have found yet more people to fill the positions." or somethin along those lines.

u may even suggest that she get a stronger, bolder horse for her support and well, weight. but try to b polity as possible and remember your in control so dont b afraid to take action!!!!!!!!!!!!

good luck!

Answer 23

You could try talking to the employer and say it might not look good as i agree that if you do not have any power that the women might get offened from you and tell her. And worst you might get fired.

BTW are you the blonde in the othe videos? If so you look good. ( Just stating. If not I bet you look good either way.) Keep up the good work.

Answer 24

yes..she is rather huge, but doesnt tht kinda show tht the horse has tolerance.? so maybe its better she rides just to show tht the horse can carry and is comfortable carrying heavy loads. i mean, yess, it can be a little disterbing, but non the less.....

Answer 25

she needs to invest in a good bra........

Answer 26

You're in a tricky situation.

I'm guessing you film these videos to post? Maybe you could ask her to do it in future, and you ride.

I feel sorry for her, so don't tell her you don't want her, just ask her to do the filming instead of riding, or ask her to do other things, then ask someone else to ride/film while you do the other thing. Or ask her to ride one of the other horses out somewhere then do the filming while she's out.

Good luck. You're in an awkward situation, hope it all works out.

Beautiful horse by the way! If I lived over there, I'd be interested.

Answer 27

well, i dont really know to tell you the truth. . . i know I am heavier (not that heavy) and i know people talked about me and had mean things to say about my riding, but i never over rode a horse and like TALL horses.  

anyway, maybe suggest her ride the draft horses instead of riding the smaller ones. i would be careful how you word it tho.

note: i will say that you make it sound like only smaller riders can be good riders.

Answer 28

Well that horse looks like he's around 1,000lb. The rider should not exeed 1/5 of the horse total body weight. In a simple way, this rider is to big and is putting way too much pressure on that horses back. Good Luck!!!

Answer 29

so am i.not only did she almost pull that poor horse over when she dismounted but i saw the horse take a sigh of relief.i thought i was watching a cartoon thats horrible.

Answer 30

") i see what you mean. but some buyers like seeing that a horse can handle a heavier rider. not all buyers are skinny. LOL.  talk to the people you are advertising for, tell them, then they can break it to her. good luck.

Answer 31

I see what you mean,but really it kind of adds to how sturdy the horse is,I mean that horse didn't side step even a little when she got off,and thats amazing,and also it also shows how good of a back and legs the horse has,besides they are buying the horse not her,there isn't really a nice way to say that,but really she might add to it.....