How do i trust my husband again????

Question

My husband was kinda cheating on me with a co-worker. There was nothing physical or anything like that. They would talk on the phone and email back and forth. She would wear clothes in to show him how they looked on her.

Please help!!! I really want to get over this but i am always thinking about it especially when I'm around him or when i look into his eyes.

My husband and i are going to be having our 2yr wedding anniv. in September when i get back from vacation. Yea he dosnt want to go and that is fine.(he has a friend comming in from out of state and they are working on a movie together) But i know in the back of my mind it will be lurking on my brain! God why why me!

Answer 1

If you guys have only been together for 2yrs and he's already showing signs of infidelity it is a grim sign of things to come.  You need to really evaluate your relationship and decide whether of not trying to work thru this is even worth your time.....because honestly...it may not be.   Your best bet may be to cut your losses early..before time, pregnancy, etc further complicates things...

Answer 2

Tell your dude if he doesnt quit talking to that girl you want out of this marriage. Or tell him your going to see a  male friend.  

Answer 3

I'm not married, i do have a boyfriend though.  I honestly don't have any advice for you.  BUT I do wish you the best and I hope everything works out.  Don't worry about it TOO much thought worrying is never good for a person's health.  Good Luck, and I'm sorry.

                                                

Answer 4

Franco J is right how do u know he didn't sleep with her? First off do not trust your husband! That's what he wants u to do so he can fool around on you again! 2nd of all if she was transferred why was she so pissed when she got transferred?She had to have done more with him then just talking and stuff! I would keep in contact with her husband so u guys can compare notes and figure out what is going on!

Answer 5

once a cheater always a cheater

Answer 6

get away before you get even more involved

Answer 7

wow what a jerky thing to do. maybe try talking to him. but you know what they say...once a cheater always a cheater.

Answer 8

I'm so sorry....there is no quick fix. It's going to take time.  But, my 2 cents, if you are going to stay you HAVE to be able to forget-you can't throw it in his face constantly. It will take both of you communicating and putting a lot of effort into rebuilding the trust that has been lost. I would consider both individual and couple counseling.  Good luck!!  

Answer 9

Talk to him. Sounds like you need some reassurance.

Answer 10

He didn't cheat so chill out. He can't have female friends?

Answer 11

Just pretend you ignore them. Stay sweet as you are to your husband.  Make the most special way to make him more happier, comfortable and I know this sounds weird but I can see you love him. If all these things you did and still your husband doing the same things with you you have to talk to him. Tell him what you feel.

Answer 12

well first of all for you to get over him you have to let him show you in little ways that he still loves being in the presence of you an you have to quit beating yourself up about this because trust me no matter what anyone says it is not your fault he cheated on you plain an simple an it is gonna take some time

Answer 13

well does he know you know

and you don't just give trust people have to earn it  

Answer 14

i dont think you can ever fully ever trust him again!!!! he knows what he did and he might even go farther next time. and most likely there will be a next time. i am sorry, i know that is hurts but it is something thing you have to face. Does he know that he hurt you? Is he sorry? if the answers to this are no i dont know what to tell you.  Stay strong, what he did was wrong, i dont think that you should give him your trust. I sorry this has happened to you. Follow your heart, it will be hard but it is the right thing to do. And you are absolutely right to feel the way you do. you did nothing wrong!

Answer 15

That is not my definition of Cheating.  Cheating is

being in a sexual relationship with another woman.

Ask him if he respects you???

Answer 16

Send some sl00ty emails to a male co-worker (with pictures) and leave it there so he can see

Then dump the sucker

Answer 17

I understand the situation your in completely, Though my husband wasn't cheating he was lying about things. I love my husband and have a new baby and wanted to make it work so bad but I couldn't it was always in my mind and the way I looked at it if he was lying and hiding some things he was lying about others. You have to decide if what he did is something you can forgive and if it isn't I would move on.The only way to trust him again is for him to earn your trust again but ultimately its your decision there may be nothing he can do and whats a relationship without trust.Make sure not to try to down play what he did because it never was physical sometimes it can hurt more because it wasn't just a physical thing there had to be some kind of real attraction.

Best wishes!

Answer 18

I caught my husband too except he was with me on vacation at my dads texting some girl from work. I still haven't been able to 100% trust him just because he's done before, and he lies about stupid little things.  I did the whole checking phone bill and he knew i was, whatever you do, dont let him flip it on you. You dont deserve this. Youve given him no reason right? My thing is, we sent the "ground rules" when we started dating. Theres always consequences for our actions. This vacation, you should have fun and not waist it on wondering what he's doing. After all that has happened he should of made it a point to go with you, so it could be your guys time. ALWAYS FOLLOW THAT WOMAN'S INTUITION, it hasnt let me down once!

Answer 19

Unless you want to chain him to a bed post he will have interaction with other women. Until he is sleeping with her or has an emotional bond stronger than he has with you he is not cheating. You should ask him how he really feels about her then base your trust or lack of based on his answer.

Answer 20

I think you should talk to him about this situation . You never know if they're relationship could get serious.Or add a tracking device in his car.  

Answer 21

I'm sorry Nicole, some men are just wrong. I myself have been married for 11 years and I wouldn't give my wife a reason not to trust me. It's sounds to me like he's not faithful. Either that or he doesn't care or is unaware about your feelings. You need to let him know, if he doesn't already, that you don't like him being around her or calling her. If he refuses, then I'm sorry to break it too you it's not true love.

Answer 22

Tell him that it bothers you for one you need to get it off of your chest. You might try telling the female she needs to back off that you don't like what she is doing and go try being a home wrecker somewhere else.

Answer 23

i been in the same situation just pretend like you trust him again and spy on him and if he does it again dump him

Answer 24

if this happend once more than likely it'll happen again, especially only being married after two years, you're best bet is to move on with you life.

Answer 25

Exactly he did`nt do anything!.It`s just like you talking to a guy friend.Maybe you should`nt go on that vaction ,To make sure he does`nt do anything.

Answer 26

Trust is important in marriage. Without it, your marriage will not survive. It will take a lot of effort, on your part, to regain it and on his part, to earn it. Good luck.

Answer 27

with prof  

Answer 28

tell him how you feel.

Answer 29

wow what a situation. i think that your husbands over the top flirting/cheating could have been just as harmful as if he did sleep with someone. mainly because there was an emotional connection more than physical. if they had not been caught what would have happened? geez now you have me paranoid for you.

i think firstly that this is a very serious matter and you should consider proffessional advice like councelling. (everyone says that but it really might help).

and you both really need to keep communication open and learn to be good listeners.

and you can't expect to trust him again over night and he shouldn't expect that either.

i wish you all the luck and happyness, i don't have much advice but maybe someone who has been through it too can help some more.

Answer 30

He may have lost one w***e (or not) but from the sounds of it he'll be on the prowl for another as soon as your back is turned. Could be why he doesn't want to go on vacation with you. Knowing you have trust issues one would think he would move mountains to make sure he was there with you to make as romantic a vacation as possible. His acting like this only two years into the marriage makes me believe it is doomed. Sorry.

Answer 31

thiz is a hard thing to get over and the only sultion is time.only time will help u but he needs to be faithful to u nd respect that also will help. wat u need to cancel the annvers trip cuz it nots goin to be plesant if u go. also u need to tell him that his friend needs to stay at a hotel cuz u 2 need to work things out.until then his friends can stay at ur house and u can go on ur annv. trip. good luck any more probs just email me .