How do include what i need on my housewarming/engagement invitations?

Question

My friend is having a housewarming/engagement party and wants to know how to let her invitees know that she would rather have a gift card then an actual gift. Is this rude or is there a polite way to say it.

Answer 1

There is absolutely NO WAY to mention gifts - especially if this isan engagement party where gifts are not given!! If it is a housewarming party, then people should bring potluck food and usually small household things. You don't combine the two!! Sounds like these two are starting to set up a household/shacking up together as soon as they decided to get married. That does not give them an excuse to ask friends to outfit their place. Showers and weddings are the time for gifts. If they can't afford the initial household, they can't afford to get married! How tacky can you get?!

Answer 2

That is rude.  If I got an invitation that says she wants a gift card, instead of a gift.  I would not bring anything. Because it is rude to tell people what to bring as a gift!

Answer 3

Unfortunately, there is no socially acceptable way to convey that.  Where did they want a gift card to?  They could go to that place and do a registry.  That way they still get to pick out what they want.  Then they could have someone spread the word that they are registered at a certain location.

Answer 4

You don't.  She should register for gifts that will be given to her for her bridal shower and her wedding.  For housewarming parties people usually bring a bottle of wine, a houseplant, or some other small thing.  Engagement parties are not usually gift-giving events.  It's best to just hold off on the gift thing until closer to the wedding.

Answer 5

That is VeRy tacky and against most wedding etiquette.  If she is registered somewhere she can register for very few items.  Then people will know she likes the store and will hopefully buy gift cards.  If they are not registered anywhere they will probably just get a bunch of random gifts.  So at least give the people a small lead.  Also, just be grateful that people want to give you anything.  Beggars can't be choosers!  

Answer 6

Your best bet would be to register for items you want at the store where gift cards are desired.  At the same time, have your close friends and family pass the word that while you are registered at ____, you'd really prefer a gift card.  Of course, if you get the items you registered for, you can either keep them or return them for store credit.  

Answer 7

People invited to an engagement party are NOT obligated to purchase or bring gifts.  An engagement party has a specific purpose and that is to announce the engagement of Mary Smith to John White, it is not supposed to be a "gift giving event."

There is no proper way to inform the guests what your gift preference is because you should never expect a gift at an engagement party.

If you wish to purchase a gift for your friend, I suggest buying a wedding etiquette book.

Answered by:  A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 8

You never ever mention gifts or money on any kind of invitation.  Guests are not obligated to give a gift, so there is no polite way to put that on an invitation.

Instead spread by word of mouth that the couple would prefer gift cards.  They may receive some gifts, but since after the engagement party, then comes the shower and then wedding I wouldn't expect too many or any expensive gifts.

If she were my client, I would advise her to save any gift requests for the shower and wedding, and only pass that by word of mouth or by a registry card insert in the shower invites.

Answer 9

It is never acceptable to mention gifts on an invitation.  It is considered rude.  

Answer 10

You never put gift information on invitations.  THe invitation is you asking to come to a party to celebrate, when you put anything about gifts it looks like you are begging. If anyone asks, mention that favorite store, otherwise she should be grateful for anything.

Engagement parties are not usually a place for gifts, and since they know she will at least have a wedding and will probably have a shower (possibly more than one), they may hold back on the gifts in anticipation of being asked/ deciding to give more.

Answer 11

Hi.  It is nice that your friend is hosting a party....but these two types of parties....a housewarming party and an engagement party....are parties where gifts are not typically given.

She should not write anything in the invitation about any type of gift!  Again, both of these types of parties are not parties where gifts are usually given.  

If people choose to give her something, it may be a bottle of wine or a gift to a home center store, but there is no way she should indicate anything on the invite.

Answer 12

Set up a registry somewhere, and then be happy with whatever gifts people choose.

Rude, VERY rude to ask for money or gift cards.