How do parents justify this? What are they thinking? Ever seen anything like this i think it is insane!?

Question

My GF will soon be attending college she is 18. Her mom has been making her clean after her entire family and cook 2 meals a day since she was 11!(lunch and breakfast). My GF works full time like her parents because she cannot afford college without working. She now can no longer handle cleaning after every1 because she pulls 75hr + weeks! Oh she also has to contribute at least 1200 dollars to the wedding of her brother (poor lazy bum making 33k a year) to a pharmacist. This is very hard to do on minimum wage but her parents and brother will scream at her if she doesn't do it!

NOW HER BROTHER IS GETTING MARRIED AND LIVING WITH A FIANCE IN A HOUSE DOWN THE STREET! MY GF NOW CLEANS AFTER HER ENTIRE FAMILY WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM ANY1 BECAUSE HER MOMMY CLEANS AND COOKS 2 MEALS A DAY FOR THE 29 YEAR OLD BROTHER AND HIS FIANCE!

The brother never had to do any housework when living at home!(until age 28). Now the mom cleans after him and his pharmacist fiance! My GF can't take it

Answer 1

She may have been a victim at eleven, but she isn't at eighteen. She can legally move out. If she is in fact working 75+ a week, and cleaning their house, how does she have time for a boyfriend? Again, if she's working 75+ hours a week, she can afford a place of her own. Instead of coming on here ranting at us, help your girlfriend.

Answer 2

I assume there is more to this story.

But, if you feel so bad for the GF, have her move in with you.

If her parents are helping her with college bills, then she won't get their help while she lives with you and YOU can help her by paying the share her parents pay.

If her parents are not helping her with college, she won't have to clean up b/c she won't live there and she is no worse off financially.

Some cultures expect a lot out of women; this family may be one (not saying it is right, but culture is hard to go against.)

It's pretty simple, really.

Answer 3

She should move into a dorm at college. Maybe go to a college a bit far from home so her family gets used to not having her be their slave anymore. Sounds like a lot to do for someone who is only 18. She should be able to have her own life. And why is she giving $1200 for her brothers wedding? thats just crazy.

Answer 4

sounds like a cultural thing where more "female-roled" responsibilities are expected of her than men...she may have to be the one to brake from the pack. continue to be supportive and let her know you will be there for her either way....she may be looking for answers from you or she may just be bitching and needing to vent....you need to ask her which....tell her you will listen if thats all she needs or you will help her resolve this if thats what she wants...

doesn't sound like a respectful and good enviornment.

i say move out!

Answer 5

Sounds like it is business as usual in that house. The women are slaves. As long as she is living at home she needs to contribute. If she is working 75 hours a week then I'm not sure how she has time for anything. They can scream all they want. It is not her problem to pay for her brothers wedding. That is stupid.

She should just move into a dorm and get the heck out of there and never come back. She can talk to them but I doubt they would hear.

Answer 6

i agree with kaitlin (above). your GF needs to make a speedy escape from that house. if her parents require that much care, they need to find a housekeeper or a healthcare worker who can assist. do some research. how can your GF expect to make it through college AND a job while still having to care for her family?

on a side note: her parents are enabling the situation to persist by continuing to baby her brother (and now his fiance). i don't know of anyone over the age of 20 who can't heat up soup or boil water for ramen noodles. or make a PB&J sandwich, for that matter.

best of luck to you and your GF!