How do single mum's do it?!?

Question

I'm now proud mum to two daughters, one aged 2 weeks and one aged 2 years. I have 5 evenings a week on my own as my husband works as a chef, and so far I've only done 3 evenings and I'm (a) knackered and (b) not sure I can do it anymore!!!

The baby is screaming when I'm trying to bath my oldest, the oldest one has started yelling when I put her to bed when she's usually so good at settling (while the youngest is still screaming downstairs) and one hour after they've both settled I'm in bed myself.

How on earth do you single mothers do it? Any tips gratefully received!!

Answer 1

I have two boys, 17 months and 18 weeks. And the honest answer is, you just do. You have to. I'm lucky that my eldest goes to nursery 2 afternoons a week so I can clean, do the laundry etc etc.

Other than that you just get on with it. Try and do as much as possible at the same time, I bath mine together, have just about scheduled their meals 30 minutes apart and they go to bed 30 minutes apart, elder one first, then I have time to feed the little one.

The best tip I can give you is: Organisation and Routine.

Good Luck hun xx

Answer 2

I know things seem like they will never get better, but the will. I have 1 child 22 months old and have never had any help with him. The main thing I can tell you is stick to a schedule especially for your older daughter. The baby will take some time to get on a regular schedule so my advice for you with the baby is to get a sling. Involve your older daughter with baby care things, like have her get you a diaper or hand you wipes during diaper changes. Or have her help pick out what the new baby will wear. During bath time put the baby in a bouncy seat in the bathroom with you so you can all be together. Make sure you take some time to just focus on your oldest one, give someone else baby duty for a little while, this will show your toddler that she is still special and that you are still there for her too. Best of luck!

Answer 3

Muddle through and get on with it!

Now that mine are older 10 & 11 there is often a bottle of wine chilling in the fridge as well!

Answer 4

I've been a single mother twice. My daughter is 20 and my son is 6.

My daughter was easy, well behaved and excellent in school.

My son is a hellion.

It's tough, very little rewards, but it helps to just - not analyze. The more you think about it, the more overwhelmed you get. Just live one day at a time and don't ever look back and do "what if's".

Answer 5

I have two children as well, with a similar age gap as your two.  

I agree with those who said that it does get easier with time and if you stick to a routine.  

The other thing that helped me with getting them to bed was to settle the younger one first and then see to the older one.  It takes alot more effort to get a 2 year old to sleep than a baby.  At this age they can get out of bed themselves, need bedtime stories and much more of your attention.  Also, she could be feeling jealous of your newborn and is acting up.

On the two nights that your husband isn't working you should try and organise some 'me' time for yourself and switch off from it all for a while. Indulge in treats and pamper yourself, you sure do deserve it.  This is one of the hardest jobs in the world.

Answer 6

We just do!!

It gets easier, I promise.

No tips, just do what works for you and your kids. And a lot of luck x

Answer 7

I'm not a single mum but was years ago,,i know how hard it can be!!its so hard work and at times it seems there is no reward,,but i just had to look at my babies sleeping,,when they actually did and knew it was all worth the utter,,sheer tiredness of it all,,in the end its the most rewarding job you will ever do,,my boys are now grown and i am happy we are are strong happy family,,hang in there girl,,I'm sure your doing a great job,,and you sound a great mum,,take time for yourself now and again ok,,,take care.x

Answer 8

I'm a single mum; my marriage broke up when my 4 kids were very small. i met someone after a few years and had another baby...but he also left, so I had 5 to raise alone.

If I'd known how tough it was going to be, I'd have cut and run!

There were years when I cannot remember having any "me"time at all; having no money, no support, and feeling this intense desperation.

What kept me going mentally was - I kept saying to myself "they won't be small forever. Some day I will have my life back."

And I do.

Four of them out in the world; only one left at home...and he's almost ready to fly the coop!

It is very tough when you have to do it all yourself, when they are so small and helpless.

Answer 9

lots of hard work. sometimes lots of tears and frustration, and with a lot of love..it the hardest job i have ever done !!

Answer 10

Stay busy go to parks take walks go anywhere that will keep them active. My son is very busy and at times I thought I would lose my mind but i started talking him outside and for walks and he loves it once we come home he is so tired and I prepare him for bed and it works....

Answer 11

With a lot of hard work! I'm not a single mother but I might as well be as My husband is in the army and goes away 6 months at a time!

The best thing is to get out there and explore with your children, and going to baby groups and going places.

Keep up the good work its hard but you will get by.

Answer 12

Its hard but get through it.  Its worse when you gotta go back to work as mad rush in morning, especially as dont drive so gotta get buses to nursery/school then more buses to work etc, but when see your child smile, or in bed all innocent looking when sleeping, it makes it all worth it. xx