How do the Irish feel about American relatives contacting them while visiting Ireland?

Question

My son and I will be visiting County Kerry this Fall. Both my grandparents were born and raised there. I have the names of three people that may be family. I want to contact them just to meet them and say hello, nothing more. I am afraid of being seen as forward and rude. Worse, a wacked out American! I would appreciate all thoughts and Ideas. Thanks.

Answer 1

You wont be seen as forward and rude... Your family after all..... And they wont think your a wacked out american they will just think you are another branch of your family and im sure they would love to meet you to.....

Hope this helps :)

Answer 2

In all honesty they probably wont appreciate it.

Better off contacting first, them rather than just showing up on their doorstep and expecting to be welcomed

Answer 3

I'm sure they wouldn't mind although writing to them in advance might be a good idea

It happened to my cousin. An American couple arrived on his doorstep without warning and with detailed and distant family connections to him

He did find it a little strange at the start but he liked them at the end of the evening and we actually found out a lot about our families history from the American couple that we would never have known before or bothered to find out ourselves to be honest!

Answer 4

PB&jelly put it better than I ever could, absolutley spot on there!!!!!!!

It's a bit like the Nigerian email where you have supposedly win millions, total scam! If a complete stranger shows up on your door what reason would have anyone to think you were anything more reputable than this?

If they open their door for you & let you in they need their heads examined, anyone could claim to be family when you don't know each other!!!

Answer 5

hi you

i know i have some in the states and i like seeing them when they come over and make visits, but your idea is a good one make contact with them and till them your coming over and you would like to meet them and take it from there i am sure you will be more then surprised at the welcome you will get from them and relax all will be fine

Answer 6

We Irish have just had a meting and came to the unanimous decision that we wouldn't mind it, as long as you had some half decent evidence to prove you are related to me and our not just guessing or you didn't pick a house at random and waltze in saying your a relative.

Good luck!

Answer 7

well i am an irish girl and i think it would be so cool to meet up with family members that i had never met or spoken to before!! :) im sure they wont mind one bit! most people in ireland are very welcoming and friendly, especially in the country (like co. Kerry). you will be fine!!  :)) have a great time there !!

Answer 8

They'd be like to their neighbours and stuff 'The yanks are over' or 'These yanks are coming and their convinced their related to us'. Most people won't take you seriously!!

Answer 9

This happened my Mum a lot  -  sometimes people just turned up on the doorstep.  It was much better when they wrote first.  Indeed she did have American cousins  -  she already knew that some uncles and aunts had gone there long before.  The cousins stayed for a very pleasant afternoon, and it was nice catching up.

Answer 10

This happens to my in-laws a lot.  They think it's...well..."another Yank looking for relatives."  They DO think it's weird, they WILL think you're a whacked out American, but if you send a letter well in advance to see if they're interested, you might be pleasantly surprised.  Offer to meet them in a local pub so you can buy them a round for their troubles.

Just keep in mind:  What if a complete stranger from another country wrote/called/showed up at your house and said that your grandfather was their mother's third cousin.  Would you want them in your house?  Would you think they were psycho?  Would you even care?  

I'm not saying don't do it.  It could be interesting and fun.  A lot of Irish think it's funny that some Americans are so obsessed with their ancestry that they will seek out complete strangers in the hopes that they can make that one little connection.  Just be prepared for a lot of eye rolling!

Answer 11

Definitely write to them first, outlining how you think you might be related.  Don't just show up at their door. They'll probably be curious:  if some unknown relative tried to contact me, I must say I'd find it a bit weird but I'd also be interested.  It surely won't be a complete surprise to them that you exist, seeing as you're related to them through your grandparents, only 2 generations back.

Just a tip - do not refer to yourself as Irish, or refer to Ireland as your home, or anything along those lines.  That will put them off more than anything else.

Answer 12

I'm sure they wouldn't mind but try to contact them beforehand, write to them if you can, if you do decide to visit, be prepared for lots of tea drinking & apple tart.  My grandmother gets lots of visitors over the summer holidays including relatives from America & England, she likes a little notice so she can have a tidy up & stock up on apple tart.

Answer 13

I'm sure they dont care! i think its so cool! im going to do  that when i go there!!the people are very kind there. (family went there be4)

Answer 14

Some people did that to my dad. To be honest we didnt like it and it was very strange.

They where related to us through the cousin of my dads grandfatehr. He didnt even know his grandfathers cousins. They didnt call ahead because they didnt know who any of us hwere they just landed in the town and went around asking did this person etc and found out who we were and arrived in the doorstep.

It was very awkward because we didnt feel like we could turn them away. Then they did all the things real Irish people hate like they went on about how they were Irish themselves and asked us if we spoke celtic etc.

I think if you can't get in touch with them before you go then dont visit. If they had've gotten in touch first it would proabably have been better. I had relatives I didnt know from New Zealand and they got in touch first and that went much better. I still talk to them.