How do these events work?

Question

How do Muslim weddings and funerals (grim subject, sorry) work? Like what are the dynamics and the processes? I know before getting married you have a "marriage contract" type deal, but what is the wholeee process to get married, including the wedding/reception. And what happens at a Muslim funeral?

Answer 1

When a Muslim woman gets married, she is on the receiving end. She receives a gift - she receives a dower or a marital gift, which is called as ‘Meher’. And it is mentioned in the Qur’an in Surah Nisa, Ch.4  Verse No.4 which says

‘Give to the woman in dower, a marital gift’.

For a marriage to solemnize in Islam, ‘Meher’ is compulsory. But unfortunately in our Muslim society here, we just keep a nominal ‘Meher’ to satisfy the Qur’an, say 151 Rupees, or some people give 786 Rupees and they spend lakhs and lakhs of Rupees on the reception, on the decoration, on the flowers, on the lunch parties, on the dinner parties.

In Islam, there is no - there is no lower-limit, nor is there  an upper limit for ‘Meher ’ - But when a  person can spend lakhs of Rupees on the reception, surely the ‘Meher ’ should be much more. There are various cultures which have crept into the Muslim societies, specially in the Indo-Pak area, they give a small amount of ‘Meher ’ and they expect the wife to get a fridge, to get a T.V set, they expect the wife to give a flat, to get a car, etc., and a large sum of dowry, depending upon the status of the husband If he is a graduate, they may accept - they may expect 1 lakh - If he is an engineer they may expect 3 lakhs- If he is a doctor they may expect 5 lakhs. Demanding dowry… a husband demanding dowry from the wife, directly or indirectly is prohibited in Islam. If the parents of the girl give the girl something out of their own free will, it is accepted - But demanding or forcing directly or indirectly, it is prohibited in Islam. If a Woman works, which she does not have to - whatever earning she gets, it is absolutely her property. She need not spend a single pai on the household - if she wants to spend it is her free will. Irrespective how rich the wife is, it is the duty of the husband to give lodging, boarding, clothing and look after the financial aspects of the wife. In case of divorce or if a wife gets widowed, she is given financial support for the period of ‘Iddah’ - and if she has children, she is also given child support.

For funeral;

According to authentic Hadiths,

Muslims are not allowed to mourn, to cry out loudly. Muslims are not allowed to mourn more than three days except the widow. Widow's waiting/mourning period is 4 months and 10 days or if she is pregnant, then till the birth of baby. After that she can marry another man.

Answer 2

The wedding issue is touchy subject, many people differ with their opinions. So, I'll stick to the opinions based on the Quran and the Hadith (traditions of the prophet) by the Muslim scholars. There are different rules for marriage for a man and a woman. A man is allowed to marry from the "people of the book", i.e. Christian, Jewish, and Muslim women. A woman is only permitted to marry a Muslim man. This is due to the fact that the male figure is the "head" of the household and the children will take his last name and his faith. There are many other reasons, but I'll keep this as short and informative as I can. A man and woman in Islam are not allowed to date, or even talk to each other unless the subject remains strictly impersonal such as school, business, religion, etc. A Muslim should look at 4 things when in a man/woman for marriage: Faith, relationship with family/people, money, looks. At first you'll think, oh wow, pretty shallow. This is a given right for the Muslims because as humans, we know these are things we naturally look for in a spouse. However, it is recommended that the most blessed marriage is of that based on faith and character, the looks and money is just a plus :P When a man is interested in a woman, or vice versa, they confront their parents and their parents will go to the other's parents and discuss the marriage. The man and woman are given time to get to know each other, but must have two witnesses who can see, but not hear their discussions. In Islam, a man and a woman (if not married or related) are not allowed alone, unseen. When the two have decided they like each other and see they they are fit for one another, a contract is written. Both the man and woman will write their own contract, they are then signed (of course with the presence of their parents and imam), and they are considered married. The man also gives the dowry that the woman requests. They then have their wedding celebration and whatnot. The important thing is that there is a mutual agreement between the man and woman, and their parents.

When a Muslim dies, their body is washed (men wash men and women wash women), wrapped in white sheets, taken to the mosque for the prayer in which Muslims gather and pray for the deceased, and buried facing the Qibla (direction towards Ka'bah in Mecca, Saudi Arabia). The graves are not raised, all should be in the same level and slightly resemble a camel hump. They are then prayed for again, and that's about it. The funeral is simple and does not include extravagant flowers or music and singing.  

Hope this helps! Let me know if you have other questions =]

Answer 3

I'm unsure, But God willing when I die I want my Funeral to be an occassion of joy. Because if I lived a good life, their is no need to be sad because I succeeded, I won this Game they call Life.  And thusly, we should rejoice in my death. But God willing that will not happen anytime soon./

Answer 4

islam didn't specify how to celebrate marriage or how to grief death

although the prophet (p.b.u.h) said (announce your wedding even with a duff "that's a drum in these times" )

3 conditions must be fulfilled in order to the marriage be valid :

1-specifying the 2 persons

2-approval (of the man and the woman)

3-announce (to at least 2 witnesses)

there is a payment that is payed from the man to the wife called (mahr) and this is usually used to help construct the house or whatever

and for the funerals ,the only thing that is (islamic) in funerals is funeral prayer (a prayer that is done , includes asking god for forgiveness for the deceased and so) and then they carry the tomb to the graveyard and it's a good thing to follow the tomb as it's going to be berried

other things are not wrong but not islamic

Answer 5

The conditions of marriage in Islam, they are:

1. A mutual agreement between the man and the woman accepting each other as husband and wife.

2. The act itself should be done only after the consent of the woman’s guardian or a representative appointed by him.

3. There should be at least two witnesses during the wedding act ceremony.

4. Both the guardian or his representative and the man should express their acceptance of this act.

5. The Mahr, (dowry, which is money given to the woman by the man as a pre-condition for marriage) should be specified.

Once the Nikah is been read out reception takes place where relatives and friends from both the sides gathers together, five the newly married couple their blessings and gifts and have dinner or lunch. and when ceremony comes to an end, the couple goes to their home,room and then just start their new life with love :)

And as for Funeral:

Washing a dead person has some rules and some good manners. First, anyone who wants to wash a dead person, has to conceal the dead's Awrah. So, he must cover the dead man between the navel and the knee. If the dead is a woman the women washing her must first cover her Awrah (front of women between the navel and the knee).

He may then perform Wudu on him "Begin washing the dead by washing organs on the right, and those parts that are washed in ablution" [ al-Bukhari and Muslim ].

Then the right side of the corpse is washed, then the left side, and finally the whole body three times, five times, or seven times or more, depending on the situation.Camphor has a good smell so it has a special effect on reducing the dead body's odor. There is no harm in using soap if there is need for it.

The Sunnah describes the way of burial as follows:

1- Dig the Lahd (a crevice made on the side of a grave facing al-Qiblah) that fits and covers the dead body. This is the opinion of the majority of scholars for the Prophetic Hadith: "Lahd is for Muslims and a pit dug is for others" [Abu Dawood and At-Tirmithi].

2- Place the dead body on its right side facing al-Qiblah, supporting its backside with unburnt bricks and its face on the wall of the grave to be fixed in the same state.

3- Avoid tearing the shroud since such a work will destroy it. Only it is desirable to untie it from the two ends. The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) said: "When one among you shrouds his brother, it should be well." [Muslim]

4- Put unburnt bricks on Lahd to prevent soil from reaching the dead's face. It is disliked to use wood and burnt bricks. Then, we pour soil on the grave. It is Sunnah for those who take part in the burial to throw three hand's full of soil on the grave.

5- Raise the grave one span of the hand above the ground to make the grave known; making it as a hump is better than being flat for the saying of Sufyan who saw the Prophet (p.b.u.h.)'s grave in the same form as reported by Al-Bukhari

6- Building on the grave is disliked. Also, it is disliked to plaster the grave, decorate it or write on it. Even if one's Will, before his death, contains such things, it should not be fulfilled.

You asked about one happy moment and one sad moment, both at the same time, and right now m going through a weird state.... never mind, thats the reality of Life.

May Allah forgive our sins and bless us with a good life-ameen.

Rest Allah knows the best~!

Answer 6

sounds like a very long answer....sry...u better go to the websites..u won't find any absolute answer here or ask from some scholar of some sort. but to wrap it up, nikah, wedding and valima are the must, but mehndi and other things are all additions and are cultural. In Islam, for a wedding, there is only Nikah (legal contract b/t bride and groom), wedding ofcourse and then Valima.

For funeral..im not 100% though i know the highlights what goes on during funeral, but for a detailed answer u shud prolly seek a scholar or refer to some legit website........ask this question of urs here. Your answer will be mailed to u

Answer 7

My dear friend salam for you. (1)The wedding process in Islam should meet the requirements (a) give mahr (wedding gift)from the bride groom to the bride  as has been agreed by both sides (b) there are at least 2 witnesses (c) consent from the bride's father for marriage (c)saying syahadat there is no other God than Allah and Muhammad pbuh is the messenger of Allah (d) ijab qabul  and talik talaq as a promise from the bride groom to the bride that he will treat her fairly and tenderly (e) closing the ceremony by shakehands and accepting marriage certificate from the religion affairs officer and can be added by wedding reception (2) the funeral process strating with bathing the dead body and wrapping with white clothes ,then bring the wrapped body to make sunnah shalat in togetherness at home or at the mosque and then carry the dead body to the funeral place accompanied by all members of family,relatives and friends They burried the dead person with azzan and dua and thank to all of guests..The guests who give condolens to the family of the dead person usually  give money or stuffs and at night after magrib they make tahlil for remembering Allah(zikir) and make a dua that the wrong doings of dead person will be forgiven by Allah  and his/her good doings will be accepted by Allah and the alive members of family will be given power to continue his/her mission on this earth, and be patient  on this musibah(bad luck) .Inna lillahi wa inna illaihi ro'jiun from Allah will come back to Allah.