How do u go about this?

Question

Its my nan's b-day today, lol, and well basically all my mum's family are going over there for a dinner and stuff, but my mum ain't going cos we don't do b-days, and also my dad wouldn't let her go anyway.

well this is peeing my mum off :'( and she's getting a bit fustrated that she can't go see her family cos my dad don't let her.

Its fine not going to her house today, but she'll probs come for dinner tomorow, but what i'm saying is that her and my dad are gettin peed off with other about this c**p. So what is a suitable way for my mum to see her fam?? Cos i mean like we can't like single them out

jazakhallah for answers :)

Answer 1

Talk to your dad about it =)

Try convincing him and if that doesn't work, use a web cam and let your mum communicate across the net.

Answer 2

Just because the other family members are going to celebrate her birthday doesn't mean your mom can't go to see her mother.  If my husband told me where I could and couldn't go I'd tell him where to go if you get my meaning.  How dare he try to keep her away from her family because they don't practice the same beliefs.  Your father is being unfair to your mother by keeping her away from her family regardless of the reason they are getting together.  I'm afraid though dear that there is nothing you can do about it except to learn from their feelings about the matter.  

Answer 3

if the issue is the b-day, then I can understand why your dad would not agree for her to go.  However if it is something else, like other bigger problems then it seems to me there has to be some kind of middle ground.  He cannot prevent her from seeing her family unless by her doing so she would be doing haram actions and it is my experience when these problems arise it is not that at all, rather it is some kind of personal misunderstanding either between the husband and wife or the husband and the family of the wife.  But bottom line it can be a very contentious issue and cause a lot of fights and drama so I would suggest your parents discuss this issue directly and get to the bottom of it quickly.  Your father should understand also that your mom is going to resent him a lot if it continues like this.  

Answer 4

Salam...

yes i know how it is. but in this case its my enitre family like that. i cant go to b-day parties cuz Myslims arent supposed to make up some more things to celebrate otyher than Eid Al-fitr and Eid Al-Adha

also, your dad is probably trying too keep your mom stable on celebrating and stuff. i cant quite say the right words but that wat my dad always tells me.

my firedn had a party cuz shes leeving and it was her sis b-day and i cdnt go cuz it had bday stuff. we wer just gonna wach a movie

if you try to talk to your dad about how you feel then he might expalin it to you

Salam

Answer 5

Salam : )

Hey....i understand in Islam we shouldnt celebrate birthdays but there is also a strong hadith in all fo the main 6 hadith kitabs which says 'all actions are according to intentions!'

So....y cant you Mum go??she knows in her hear shes not going to celebrate the birthday ...she want to see her family...aand our Prophet s.a.w has said (in my own words) that you should keep good relations with people and not cut them off.....am i Right or am i Right????

and hey...y odnt u gor with ur mum....???

Insha Allah...everythings okay...

Mmmwaaaah xxxxx :D lol

mail me to tell me how it goes...

Jazak Allah

Answer 6

my parents have problems like that too lol

my mum calls up on the phone and makes an excuse not to come but seems nice about it =]

Answer 7

why doesn't your dad "let" her?