How do we REALLY know if we are doing the right thing?

Question

My husband is in the military right now. We are planning on having our first baby next year sometime, and are completly delighted at the thought and so excited. It is kind of cool because right after the baby is born a few months later his military term will end so NO MORE DEPLOYMENTS...YAY! However, I have people looking at me like I am the most retarded person on the planet. They can't believe that we want to get out after having a baby, or just plain old get out! We own a home and everything too, so we will just have to sell it. But, the thing is I am sort of afraid to get out. I really am dying to go back home and be around my family again, yet I love where I am now too. I am really lonely here though because I do not have any great friends here at all, and my husband is always busy working. So, I don't know what to do anymore. I am all stressed out! The only thing I am thinking that might make it better is if my husband trains into a recruiter and does that for a couple of years, and try to get stationed close to my home? I dont know?

Answer 1

How long has he served? If people think it's not a good decision, is it because he has so many years invested in the military already? If he's been in over ten, then I would suggest staying in. After his current tour, he should be up for shore duty anyway right? I'm assuming your Navy since you mentioned deployments.

I guess the bottom line is to think of your future. Will he have problems looking for a job after the military? Just make sure you two discuss your future and what you're going to do when he gets out. Have a plan and at least six months of your salary put away in savings before he seperates.

Laura: When I assumed that she was referring to Navy it was in no means to imply that I think less of any other military branch. I would certainly not put down or belittle any other military branch PERIOD.

Answer 2

Forget those other people. Some do it for the experience and some make it their life. You are the people who do if for experience. You have to think of what will be good for you and your soon to be new family. Don't let what the others say change your heart. If you and your hubby are fine with it, that's all that matters. You shouldn't have to stay there and be lonely just because you feel people will look at you differently. Oh well, you'll never see them again! HA!  

Answer 3

you never REALLY know, but we all get hunches. right?

Answer 4

Your life sounds like my life.  Almost exactly.  We don't own a home, though.  We are stationed way up North, and we're both from the South, so we knew we would never want to live here permanently.  But we want to try for our first baby when he is home for his R and R.  It'll be his first deployment.  I wonder who is making you feel like this isn't a good decision; other military people, or civilian people?  My civilian friends tell me it would be stupid to get out now, since he'd only have a few more years until retirement.  But they do not have any idea what it's like having a husband be gone for a year, or have a job where being shot at is part of the job description.  No one should be trying to influence you, one way or the other.  Your husband is a hero for having chosen to serve his country, and now his obligation is over.  You do what is right for you and your family!  Your husband and you are the only two people who have any say so in this decision.

P.S.  Pinay, ALL branches deploy.  When you hear about the marines on the ground over there, or army helicopters being shot down... those troops are deployed.  And in a lot more danger than Navy personel on a ship.  No offense.

Answer 5

Make sure that he is not getting out just to make you happy. Make sure you are BOTH on board 100% so there are no resentments down the line. It isn't something that should be considered lightly. While my husband is not in the military, I did move out of state away from my family to be with him. It was really really hard at first, and it still gets hard some times, but my family is here with my husband---it's the choice that I made when I decided to marry him--- and I get to visit my parents and other extended family when I can.  Do you work? Have interests? Hobbies? Perhaps if you got yourself involved in the area you live in now you would feel better about it and have a more fulfilling existance there.  Just don't jump into things.