How do we address this issue with biological mom?

Question

my step daughters biological mom lets her do whatever she wants and watch whatever she wants. my husbadn wants to talk to her about it but doesn't know how to, she's not a very verbal person. she lets his daughter who just turned four watch movies like american pie and austin powers and she watches family guy, south park, th esimpsons, hannah montana and other show we feel are innaproporiate for her age. she can quote a lot of the things said in these movies. i swear all she does is watch tv there because thts all she wants to do at our house now. she never likes to go outside anymore and when we flip through the channels she knows almost every cartoon. how can he address this issue with her mom?

Answer 1

I would have your husband sit down with her ex wife and explain to her that it makes him uncomfortable when she allows their daughter to watch certain TV shows, and suggest that they could make a list together and agree on how much TV she can watch per day. Approaching her in a non threatening way will improve the chances of her agreeing with what you are suggesting. There is no guarantee that she will agree and if she says no there is nothing you can really do short of going to court and getting full custody, but it doesn't seem like the problem is that bad.

Answer 2

Well if your step daughter lives with you I would tell her Mom "I understand that you want to do and all our daughter to do things that she will enjoy especially since you get very little time with her but I would like for you to understand that it makes it harder for us to discipline her and reformat her everyday life at home when this is done.  I would appreciate it if you picked more appropriate shows and activities - perhaps something on Disney, Sprout or TV in general or spending the day at the park with her or lunch."  I would also explain to your daughter that things that "Other Mommy does" will not fly at your house and dont' tolerate it.  

She might not like it but kids do appreciate boundaries and and balance in their lives.  Structure makes them feel safe even if it is not always fun or what they would like to do.  Then the fun times at the house will feel even more fun...

Try to get her to understand your point of view and compromise...

Answer 3

You have got to try to talk to her about this. There are so many things wrong with this situation. You really have to be proactive about it. You don't think that those shows are appropriate for her, and I agree. I think that children at that age should watch no more than one hour of tv a day. They are not learning the things that they should be from the tv. She is not free to use her imagination. It sounds like the mom is using it as more of a babysitter, than actually spending time with her. There is no easy way to bring up something like that, but it needs to be done, and the sooner the better for that little girl.

Answer 4

I would be honest with her and let her know how you feel about her watching tv. 10 to 1 things probably wont change. I would assume like most 'other parents' she'll feel like thats her home and she'll do what she wants. Thats where you need to enforce rules at your house. Such as, we only watch tv during these times or you can only watch tv for an hour a day. Maybe you should start a playgroup!?!