How do we adopt my 17 year old fiance if his mom puts him up for adoption?

Question

Okay, I need help. For the past 5 months we've been trying to figure out how to run away together, but I, an agnostic girl, prayed. And now his mom, who's a really bad mother but I won't go into details, is putting him up for adoption. Okay, he's 17 but he and his mom moved from Germany and his "fake" birth certificate says that he's 15. Yeah yeah, we're going to get it all figured out when he gets here. Shush. Anyways, he's on probation so on Monday he's going to talk to his probation officer about it. My mother is willing to adopt him if I/we find out how to do it. My question is:::how would we go about getting the papers, signing them, and if him living 600 miles away would appose as a problem here. Also, how long it would or might take. Thank you.

Answer 1

Is he a U.S. citizen?  

Is he in the states right now?

What do you mean by a "fake" birth certificate?

How old are you?

If he's a foreign national, you might look into a fiance Visa, which buys, I believe, six months. Or if someone you know can give him a job and be willing to sign sponsorship papers.

The best option if he's a U.S. Citizen would be to apply for emancipation.  Or have the two moms get together and talk about making your mom legal guardian.

You might also try checking out the laws on marriage in your states.  The moms might agree to signing off on that - though that is a huge step to take at such a young age.  (I know - I was married in high school - not advised)

Answer 2

Like person above said, social and legal issues would come out of your Mum adopting him.

Besides, I think guardianship would be an easier process to go through than adoption. Not sure how to get guardianship,  I think his Mum has to sign him over to her or something.

I'm sure if he explained to his Mum it would be a less painful, and probably cheaper move to hand Guardianship to your Mum she would sign straight away.

Answer 3

Teeeeeeenagers are so stupid.

Answer 4

First off youcant marry someone that is your brother even if he is adopted.

Answer 5

Maybe you could prove his correct age of 17 and ride it out til he;s 18 then he could be free from his mother  ..and he wont be your brother and you can get married.  Whats the probation all about? are you sure you want to get mixed up in all of that?

Answer 6

boy are you naive

you are going with a boy of 15 not 17 like he told you and he is lying to you and you are believing it

you met him on the internet right

he's on probation and he is trouble

you and your mother are asking for trouble

Answer 7

If your mother adopts him, it will make it illegal for you to marry, because then, he would be your legal brother, even if it's not biological.  Even though morally it would be alright, it isn't legally.

Answer 8

I cannot believe that your mother would do something like this when such a distance is involved and many questions unanswered and he may not be telling the truth either.

I can assure you that getting a false birth certificate in Germany is just about impossible.

Stay out of trouble young lady.

Answer 9

He's 17.  He can be legally emancipated or have an adult become his legal guardian for the short period left until he turns 18.  At 18, he'll be a legal adult.  

If your mother adopts him, he will become your brother under the law.  It will be illegal for you to marry him.  

Answer 10

Um... you're engaged to him? You realize that if your mother adopts him, you two would be legal siblings? You would no longer be able to marry, because in the eyes of the law you would be brother and sister.

I think you should talk to a lawyer, and possibly to Child Protective Services. It sounds like a really complicated situation in which some potentially illegal things are going on, and I think the first step needs to be to just sort out the tangle. Also, for your mother to adopt him, his own mother would need to agree and terminate her own parental rights and give your mother custody, or your mother would need to go through the state's foster-adopt program if he's already been placed in state care. I'm not sure how far the process of his mother putting him up for adoption has gotten, and that matters.

I agree guardianship sounds like the better option in this case, and it would avoid some of the problems that an adoption would pose, but I think you need the help of a lawyer, and maybe a state social worker.

I think this is a situation that will require legal counsel and possibly the intervention of the authorities. I don't think it'll be solved by your mother adopting your boyfriend and making him your sibling. That would lead to a pretty screwed-up relationship dynamic right off the bat.

Answer 11

You seriously want to marry your "legal" brother?

Answer 12

Can he be emancipated and just live with you?  

Answer 13

I don't think there is a lawyer out there that will proceed with an adoption of a 17 year old.  By the time the paperwork was in place he would be 18.

His best bet would be to become an emancipated minor.   This cuts all ties from his mother she is not responsible for him and he does not have to answer to her.

Emancipation can be done at your local courthouse, cost: Court fees.

Answer 14

You need a lawyer and court to do adoption.

Answer 15

if she adopts him you can't marry him, he would be your brother.  she could take guardianship of him