How do we balance this out?

Question

My husband works 55-60 hours a week and lately only has one day off. He is supposed to have atleast every other Sat off but there have been issues at work. He was only off a whole weekend this month. I'm a SAHM and after a long week I feel like he's finally home but it seems he's non existant when he's here all he wants to do is sleep and be lazy, don't get me wrong I understand that because he works. I want him to be here for me and my son. I feel like he has a obligation to us too. I would like it if he would help with our son and to keep our relationship alive. I understand that he has the obligation to work and take care of our family financially and on the other hand I feel like I want him to be emotionally here for me and our son. I feel like his work schedule is the wedge in our lives. I just want to be able to talk to him about it without finger pointing or trying to make it look like it's his fault. I'm just tired of feeling agitated about him sleeping, being lazy, not helping with our son, I want him to generally want to spend time with us. But the other part of me understands that he works hard, I'm so confused. How can we make things better?

Answer 1

If i were your husband and you wrote to me exactly what u just wrote, i would understand.  I know sometime it's hard when u have to actually say something because the words wont come out right, so i would suggest u write it down.  Honestly, the way you wrote this sounds perfect. i wish my Ex wf was like that, we may not have gotten a divorce.

Answer 2

Ok first it´s good you understand your husband´s position, and you´re been very understanding with him letting him be lazy. But he does have another obligation to do besides work, because although all need money, we also need a healthy and stable family. Without that, we´re nothing. So you need to point out all the things you think you´re lacking and how to work on them. Talk this out with him openly. It´s not about, you accusing one another, is about making a plan as a couple. Most men take it that working hard is enough. It´s not, because the kids them and and the wife needs them.

Plan out how to solve the situation and consult with him, something like, he comes home tired, you´ll have everything ready for him to bath your son and put him to sleep. While he do this, you´ll prepare dinner for him in bed, so you can both watch TV together while eating and wash the dished the next day. Something like that. He´s helping you out and you´re making him comfortable after a long day.

He needs to understand that while he´s supporting you guys, he comes home to a clean home with clean clothes and a comfortable atmosphere. It didn´t happen magically, you worked on it, so you both work equally.

Answer 3

Have him quit!  Collect food stamps and be together 100%.  Then see if it's better?  I'd be happy you have a father for your son who can put a roof over his head and clothes on his back and food in his belly. It won't last forever, but the man has to work.  A little more that you like.  But look at the big picture.  You have him.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, unless you're willing to have your standard of living decrease, you'll have to deal with it. Or perhaps you could find a job as well, then he won't have to work as many hours.  

Answer 5

get a job, why are you slave driving your man and complaining about him too?