How do we break our 9 1/2 year old girl's attachment to an old blanket?

Question

We have been unable to break our 9 1/2 year old 3rd grader of her attachment to an old baby/toddler blanket. She sometimes cries hysterically for it if it is missing or forgets to bring it to a sleepover. Occasionally she will forget about it and not miss it for a night but eventually it turns into a desperate, almost obsessive need for it. How do we break this attachment? Do we simply take it away from her, is there another way to ease her dependency or do we simply let her outgrow it on her own?

Answer 1

Why would you want to break her from it?  Is it hurting you?  It is a source of comfort for her why does that bother you so much?

Answer 2

Why would you try to break a habit like that? It give her a security and maybe she is just used to sleep in a certain way that gets uncomfortable without her blankie. I have a stuffed monkey since I turned 5. I still have it (it falls apart so I don't sleep with it anymore). I think I might be ready now to let go, I thought the other week and then I turned around and left it exactly where it was. I'm a lot older than 9 1/2 but so what?

Answer 3

I'd let her outgrow it.  It's doubtful that she'll take it to college with her.  But I also wouldn't feed into her hysterics when she loses it, either.  Maybe try to take a "hands off" approach.  Don't mention it at all, whether she remembers it or not.

Answer 4

let her outgrow it, she will. My boys have all had "blankies". My oldest are 13 and no longer have one although they still have a favorite blanket to sleep with they just don't take it anywhere. My 10 r old had one too and my youngest just turned 8 this past weekend and you should see his blanket. He calls it his red blankie (it's mostly red) and he needs it to sleep all the time. The thing is practically torn to shreds but he still uses it. The edges are all coming off and they hang and he puts them between his toes and stuff while watching TV LOL I know he won't haveit forever and it makes him feel secure so that is what is important.

My husbands cousin who is 13 just like my twins brought his sleepy blanket over with him until he was about 11 or 12 whenever he slept over.

Answer 5

she'll grow out of it....put yourself in her shoes..its her security...I had mine till,hummmmm...still have it,ok it has changed over the years and i can live without it...but its good to have around....for her its the most precious thing in the world....but try to get her to be responsible...its her blanket then its her responsibility....if she goes into hysterics sit her down make her breath and calm down...and make her go threw her head to remember where it was last.....tell her that acting like that will not bring the blanket back...that calming down and looking for it will......good luck.....

Answer 6

My daughter did this for many years (she's 13 now).  We just made the rule that she could only have it in her bed and could not take it to sleepovers.  She was fine with that. The blanket finally became so ragged and torn after so many washings that she tucked it away in a special box just a few years ago.  She'll always have it, but it will be in the box. It's not doing your daughter any harm and it's bringing her comfort.

Answer 7

Noooo don't take it away from her. It's perfectly normal to still have a blanket!! I have a blanket that I still take to sleepovers, sleep with, ect. and I'm 13. I haven't had it for a while but I still love it. I have a special bear too. She will grow out of it. And my friends don't think it's wierd. They think its cute!

Answer 8

You cant just take it from her...........I had the same problem when I was younger it wasnt with a blanket it was with this old stuffed barney I think the only reason I got over it before I was 10 was because it was embrassing and stuff but try to replace it with other things and distract her with a bed time story or cookies and milk before bed

Answer 9

Leave her alone. She'll give it up when she is ready. Maybe he'd like to help make it into a pillow for her bed, but if not,leave it alone. She needs the security it offers.

Answer 10

I think you should let her outgrow it on her own.....

My son had two fleece blankets from when he was a baby that he liked to carry with him wherever we went...he loved to sleep with them.  He didn't get hysterical, but on the weekends he would carry them around the house and eventually he lost one on a trip and then my husband took the other one away.

It is not the way I would have handled it, but it was already done.  Now my son likes to carry around a blanket, any blanket...(we have a ton of them around the house, we keep the house cold) and of course, he likes the soft fleece ones....but there is no 'special' blanket.

It's comforting.....is it hurting anybody? anything?

Answer 11

I agree, let her do it in her own time. Sounds to me that it's more of a problem for you than her. She wants it, let her deal with the embarrassment of it. If it means that much to her, and it doesn't bother her in front of friends, all the more power to her.

Im well over the hill, and I still have a piece of my favorite blanket, it's stashed away in a box, for fear if I leave it out, I'll lose it or it will disintegrate.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Answer 12

Both my sister and myself and my children were all blanket-lovers. My sister is 40 and still has hers put away in a closet! It is practically shredded- loved to death.

I am assuming you know that the child's blanket is a "security" blanket- it gives a stressed child a safe feeling that they become intensely attached to.

Here is the deal I made with my 3 sons-

It would get folded into a small square and tucked into the pillowcase at night, and not taken out during the day. It would stay at home, (unless it was going to grandma's overnight) because the other kids shouldnt see it. Let your daughter take it out only in bed at night, and fold it away in the morning- and eventually she will probably forget to take it out at all.

My little blanket was loved because it was super-super soft, and when I was a little older got a big comforter of super-soft cotton, it felt similar but was adult-sized. When we moved, it took my 10 year old a few months to realize that he hadn't unpacked it. I think it is incredibly mean and heartless to throw them out or force a child to get rid of the blanky if they aren't ready...my dad did that and I never forgave him for such an unkind and unnecessary act. He was kind of a jerk when we were kids.

Answer 13

take it and hide it some were were she cant finded it and replace it with another too see what happens

or take it and never give it back

Answer 14

Oh!You can not break apart a girl from her blanklet!Lol,but i still have mine.I don't need it all the time,but eventully she'll grow out of it.But try to get her to not bring it to sleepovers,people will tell people,and those people will make fun of her.

Good luck!

Answer 15

Don't worry mom, she'll outgrow it. Everone has attachments of some sort, even us adults. Think of a favorite shirt that you simply cannot part with for only reasons that you know, it's no different for a child. My good friend slept with a tattered piece of a childhood blanket when she was 16 and she's a prefectly fine grown woman.

Answer 16

Convince her to give it to Santa, so he can give it to a little girl like she was when she got it.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 17

I would just let her outgrow it.........I had a teddy bear that went on all overnights, etc, until I was 16 years old.  I also had blanket that had sentimental value that I finally retired a year ago (I'm 28).  I don't think there is any harm in comforting objects as long as it isn't obsessive.

Answer 18

Throw or break a stink bomb on it, without her knowing.  That will surely cause her to forget or get away from it forever.

Answer 19

If it were me, I would just let her outgrow it. I guarantee she will not go off the college or get married with her old blanket. Why create extra stress and conflict in her and your life? Plus, I think trying to break her attachment may make her want to cling on to it longer.

Answer 20

My 10 year old son has a favorite blanket too. It really comforts him and makes him feel special. I would just let her outgrow it. If it becomes too much of an issue maybe make some suggestions to her like- you could cut part of it up and frame a square of it. You could make it into a pillowcase. You could buy her a hope chest and put it in there so that she will always have it. Something that shows her that it will not be gone forever but just not used on a daily basis. Who is it really harming though?

Answer 21

Let her outgrow it on her own. When I was a child I did the same thing. My mother cut it up on me around 8yrs. old, and  I was devastated.(it traumatized me for life!)