How do we deal with bullies?

Question

Ok, so my 10 yr old son is saying he is getting bullied at the bus stop. More on the way home than going to school. It started with the name calling and he has now informed me that these kids are threating to beat him up. I have told him that he need to go talk to the princaple and his teacher. I will also be calling his teacher about this problem. He doesn't want to be known as a snitch either. He has asked me to come to the bus stop with him. I haven't needed to do that since he was in second grade. Any suggestions on what else we can do?

Remember please, these are kids we are talking about so please don't be as rude as they can be. ty

Answer 1

i had the same experience with my daughter, who is 12. if it is a bus stop issue they will most likely tell you to call the bus garage at least that is how it is here. if it happens in school then the principal handles it, teachers are really not a good choice to talk to but however the schools guidance counselers seem to do well with these matters. what helped with my daughter and her situation was by taking her to the kids house and speaking directly to the parents. they were told if the situation continues charges would be filed directly with police dept. we have not had a problem since. hope this can help. by the way if your husband or your sons father is in the picture take him with you. i find that talking with parents of the bully usually works.

Answer 2

The way a bus stop works, is that your child is your responsibility until the bus drives up and takes him aboard, and after he is dropped off and the bus leaves he becomes your responsibility.

I would suggest the Mom hotline....

I am not a mom, and I don't know that it really exists, but I do know as a bus driver, that if I tell the school, nothing happens.  However if I tell a mom.... Its like the heavens opened up and swallowed the old child and stuck a new one in his place....

Find out who the kids are and talk to their parents.

Answer 3

First, do hyou know the "bully's " parents? If so, I would contact them directly. The school (I am a teacher) probably doesn't see much of it on their watch.

If you contact the school, just ask them to keep an eye on it.

I hope, assume, you have had a long chat with your son. Make sure you get a clear understanding of what is happening. Kids do tend to angle the story in their favor. I do NOT doubt he is being bullied, but you don't want to accuse others without knowing everything. Good luck. It is heartbreaking to hear this from your child. GEEZ, my 3 year old only complains about one boy being too loud in her class and I am ready to attack him. haha

best wishes

Answer 4

I wouldnt involve teachers or principals (most of them usually tend to make the situation worse, especially when it comes to bullying)

find out why they are making fun of your son.

Is it because the way he dresses?

the way he acts?

is he short for his age?

there are many little things that schoolchildren look for when they start picking on children.

I think overall, its probably cause your son has low self esteem.

I know it sounds shallow and almost stupid but hey, schoolchildren are shallow and stupid. Try to get your child involved in some kind of sports, if hes not into sports then look into other things like Karate, chess, or anything that lets him interact with other children. He'll build some confidence, make a couple friends, and learn how to stand up against bullies. If that doesnt work. Just teach him to ignore bullies. Bullies can smell fear, if they approach him and make fun him, he should just ignore them, if he gives any sort of emotional reaction then they will feed off of that and keep harassing him. Tell him to sit at the front of the bus and just not even pay attension to them. Bullies are usually stupid, they'll get tired of him ignoring them and they'll move on and pick on some other kid.

Answer 5

I know exactly how to do that. It doesn't take a lot of effort on your part. All you have to do is be more involved in his school like volunteering one hour a week or twice month. If you don't have time the maybe you should get your priorities straight before you do. You could take him to school once a week , pick him up and just ask his teachers how he is doing. You don't even have to bring up the bully just ask your son who he is. I know this may sound off the wall but get to know the bully and be nice to him. You will see how he responds to kindness rather that anger a lot better. After all he is a child too and he must have it bad at home if that is the way he gets attention.

Answer 6

Is it possible for you to pick him up from school?  You can call his teacher and principal, but you should also call the bus driver.  The bus driver can see if they are also having issues while on the bus.  If he has asked you to go to the bus stop with him, then do it.  Regardless to if he's 7 or 10, he needs you and wants you to be there.  Call the parents of these kids.  Chances are they have no idea that their child is causing problems.  There are only a couple of months left of school, and by the end of the year he won't be known as a "snitch".  Children's focus changes so fast that they forget who they disliked the day before.

Answer 7

bullies are all about power. find out how to cut off their power, and they are helpless. the main ways they collect power is:

        -supportive peers

        -no consequences for their actions

        -finding kids weaker than them to pick on

from what i can see they all apply here so do your best to:

         -also tell the teachers about the kids that cheer on the bully

         -make sure they are justly punished for their actions

         -tell your kid to not ever talk to them and ignore them no matter what. if they hurt him at all in any way then they have succeeded in bullying him and making him the weaker one

Answer 8

Every school has an 'anti bully' policy. Do NOT talk to the teacher. Take this to the principal. If they say they dont' have to do anything about trouble at the bus stop, tell them to show you any written policy that states this.

Write down everything that has happened, take this to the principal and ask him what is he going to do to protect your child according to their anti bully policy and be in compliance with it? If they don't do anything you can file complaints for the principal violating this policy.

Answer 9

umm. tell him to defend his self, if they try to fight him and he doesn't defend himself he will be seen as a coward throughout his school career, it happened to me i defended myself and i was left alone henceforth. i think i turned out all right, i hope anyways lol.

Answer 10

I would sign him up for self defense classes like wrestling or karate to build up his confidence.  What are the kids saying to him?  Can you drive him to school but let the bus take him home?  Call the police and press charges against these future American's Most Wanted stars.