How do we deal with kids we only see every second weekend?

Question

Husband has 3 kids from previous marriage. Divorced 10 years ago. Kids are 10, almost 12, and almost 13. We see them every second weekend and it's a rare occurrence if it goes without trouble. We have a 2 bedroom apartment so sending one kid to his/her room will only punish the others if they want to play in it. The oldest boy likes to run away when we try to keep him in there anyway. We tried getting them to write essays and lines on why their behavior isn't acceptable. Always ends in a fight. Can't ground them due to space issues. Can take away tv, video games, but that never works. Why should they care? In two days, they'll be back at their mother's. Her and I came up with an agreement on how to deal with things. Now she says she never had this talks with me. I am going to leave my husband because let's face it, I'm not capable to take care of these kids anymore. I'm emotionally and physically tired and I had a baby who needs me more than kids who already have a mom and dad. I may sound selfish right now but I'm the one who put in all the effort to help these kids when they needed it most and now I'm the bad guy because it's not working for them. Rant off....

Answer 1

I'm sorry...

maybe they're just trying to "punish you" you know how kids think all step-moms are....

don't leave your husband coz of these kids its not his fault and he doesn't have to pay for it....

i think you should sit and talk with the eldest of the kids that way he might help you with his siblings...

if this doesnt work out then maybe you should tell your husband he should be seeing them in their home coz you cant deal with them here.....

or maybe just go to a friends house everytime they come and return only at bedtime....

i hope this helps

Answer 2

tell your husband that if he wants to stay with you, he will have to make arrangements for the stupid kids to stay at their moms house and if there are any problems and the mom says you HAVE to take care of them, just leave with the baby and go to your friends house for a few days and dont stress. and see how your husband likes it.  and if you have any punishing problems, maybe have one of the kids sit on teh couch and have you or your husband watch them whil theyre in time out. (even better, tell them that time out is for little kids) and have the minutes according to their age. and if they get up, add 5 or 10 minutes or keep adding their age (but it might not be fun watching them for 4 hours)

Answer 3

Rather than leave your husband, whom I am sure you love. What about leaving every 2nd weekend. Have you got family you can go stay with every  time they are due to come over?