How do we deal with studying and people's attitude?

Question

My husband and I moved in US (from Europe) for 2 years (he got a temporary 2-year-job). Our 10yo daughter (Siana) and our 9yo son (Martin) just started school here. They recently complain that at school they study things they have studied already in Europe (plus, they say these things were studied 2 years ago!). They are bored in class, have 100% on all tests and do their homework for 10 minutes. They also complain about something which made me angry. They say the teachers don't take them seriously, people treat them as little kids and nobody takes them seriously at all.

We have raised Siana and Martin the way all kids are being raised in Europe. The differences from US culture are that they were out of diapers before their first birthday, they have been left alone at home for hours after school (both I and my husband worked all day) and learned how to take care of themselves. We also take them seriously always. They are smart kids and you can talk with them about everything. They were raised that way so now they can be treated like adults. Both of them are responsible and mature (quite more mature than the kids in their classes, as they describe me what do these kids talk about and what do they like to do). In europe we raise our children like people, we treat them like people as soon as they start talking and making sensible sentences. We discuss problems with them, ask for their opinion. They are not treated as "little kids" but as "members of the family", equal to anyone. And they complain that here people treat them like babies. How can I help them and what can I do to improve that situation? Should we consider putting them in upper grades? Siana is in 5th grade now and Martin is in 4th. they study things kids study in 3rd and 2nd grade in Europe. I asked them if they would like to go in upper grade and they agreed hoping I would do that. Should I do that? And should they go 1 upper or 2 upper grades? Also, how do we get people treat them normal, not like babies? I really see that attitude. In Europe people respect kids like adults. Here I see no respect to their opinion or ideas. what do we do?

10 points for the one who really helps us

Answer 1

I would suggest moving them up 2 grades, or home schooling them. My family has home schooled all of their children due to inadequate learning in the public school systems, I feel that children are capable of doing much more than what they are taught and that the reason kids are unruly in class is because they are bored.

You can't make anyone not treat them like babies, in fact many people still treat me like a young child and I am 21, married and have a child of my own on the way. It's why people in Northern America are so rude, because they have to be in order for someone to listen.

Answer 2

its not really your choice.  you can push for it but in the end its the schools who makes the decision.

put them in private school

Answer 3

Your kids need to have more challenging lessons.  Ask their school about special programs for gifted and talented children or for advanced studies. Meet with their teachers - maybe their teachers could work with them to give them more advanced assignments.   If their school has activities such as math team, chess club, or other intellectually challenging activities, sign them up.  If not, they will probably have these things in middle school.  They might even be eligible to join a middle school team now.

If there is nothing like that available, consider moving them up 1-2 grade levels.  You said they are very mature, but it's sometimes difficult for younger children to be in a class with others who are 2 years older than they are.  They may be on the same level intellectually, but they are not on the same level emotionally or physically. It may be hard for them to make friends.  

If you don't want them only around older kids, you might try having them take advanced classes in just a few subjects.  My son had a friend who took math courses that were 2 years ahead of his classmates.  But he took all his other classes with his own peer group.  This helped him maintain his relationships with his friends.  

Other options you could consider are home schooling (if you are at home enough and feel you can teach them) or sending them to a private school.

Once they get to high school they will be able to take college level courses and might even be able to start college early.

If nothing else, be patient, and keep giving them educational things to do at home.  My friend's son is extremely gifted, but he never took advanced courses in school.  His parents, who both have Ph.D.'s,  just gave him books to read and talked about academic subjects with him at home.  He is now doing graduate level research in biochemistry and genetics after only 3 years of college.   The important thing is to keep them interested in learning.  How you do it doesn't matter; just help them find some way to use their talents.  

Answer 4

"We have raised Siana and Martin the way all kids are being raised in Europe. The differences from US culture are that they were out of diapers before their first birthday, they have been left alone at home for hours after school (both I and my husband worked all day) and learned how to take care of themselves. We also take them seriously always"

You've got to be kidding me. No one is more intellectual just because they're from a different continent. Is this supposed to be some slam at Americans? Because I'm offended by this question. You had them both potty trained by 1 year old? I seriously doubt that. Kids can't even walk to the bathroom by a year old. I think you're full of it.

About kids being respected like adults: You're full of it there, too. Kids aren't adults. If you chose not to let your kids have a childhood, that's your problem. Don't c**p on everyone else who actually lets their children be children.

If you think your kids are just so much more intigent than these "stupid Americans", then talk to their principal about placement testing. The fact of the matter is, if you were telling the truth about "coming to the US from Europe", then your kids would have been tested before entering the American school system. Grade levels work differently in different parts of the world.

Answer 5

wow thats a tough one.  I can see why your frusterated.  As far as the schools moving your children up a grade or two, thats going to be up to them.  Go and talk to the principle and see what he/she says.  Have them test your children at the grade level you think they are at.  If they do well then there is no reason they cant be moved up.  The biggest reason schools dont like to do that is due to maturity in the child.  Its hard for a young child to get along and feel equal to an older bigger child.  It doesnt sound like you will have that issue though.  If that doesnt work out look into home schooling them if you have the time.   I will give you a piece of advice though if i may....I wouldnt leave your childrent home alone here in the states.  They are considered too young for that here and you could get in a lot of trouble if some catches on.  I know the cultures are very very different and its hard to say whos right and whos wrong.  The one thing that is common is that we all try to do what we think is best for out children.  Good luck!