How do we get our 13 year old to sleep in her own bed?

Question

My 13 year old step-daughter does not like to sleep in her own bed in her own room. She likes to sleep on the uncomfortable floor in her 11 year old brother's room. We have a house alarm, so I would think that would comfort her. Does anyone have any ideas as to how to help her sleep in her room on her own and not be scared? (There is a night light in there...and we've talked to her a lot about it.)

Answer 1

im 13, and i cant seem to stay in my own room either! i usually crawl into bed with my 4 year old sister. she and i had "sleep overs" for like 5 days in a row because she was scared, so ive gotten used to her bed. plus her room has a computer and a tv.

tell her that if she doesnt sleep in her own room, she wont be able to have her friends over next time she wants them to .

Answer 2

Give her little rewards. First you  need to sit down and ask her what makes her uncomfortable about sleeping in her room and what you can do to make her more comfortable. Then tell her that if she sleeps in her bed for two nights in a row without coming in to your or her brothers bedroom she will get to pick where you go to dinner or some other small reward. Then start giving her rewards for a week straight and soon she will realize that she is fine in her own room and nothing will happen to her.

Answer 3

sorry but i have bad news......most alarms are easily broken into to...however you need to reassure her its safe and that she should believe her parents .........find some relaxation methods maybe .good luck

Answer 4

maybe it just 2 hot in her room....its summer...its hot out

Answer 5

Maybe you should take her to a therepist. Maybe she's not giving you the whole story about why she's doing it.

Answer 6

ummm check for umm OCD and a big one misunderstood alot is Autism it may be a very mild form and she may feel like she cant connect to anybody but her brother my baby cousin did that for 15 years and her bro was older than her and when he wanted to move she tried suicide talk to her about how she feels around other ppl Autism is a problem with connecting to normal ppl there are things you can do to help her she just needs someone to be there if it is diagnosed as this make sure to talk to her brother so he knows that he is needed she needs him other than maybe slowly try to introduce her room to her naps are a good lock her brothers door and after school make her take a nap in her room check on her make sure she isnt freaking

good luck

Answer 7

(I'm 14) get her a TV or play soft jazz music to help her relax. Did something happen to her in that room or her previous bedroom? Locking the windows may help. I also suggest you clean her entire room in the day time with.Go under her bed,dresser,closet,behind doors, and anywhere else.If these ideas don't work, i suggest you go to a doctor.

Answer 8

She may not be giving you the whole story here.  She may sleep in her brothers bed because she has been abused.  NO I am not trying to imply that your husband has abused her, but someone may have.  She could also be afraid of sleeping on her own for fear that something may happen to her little brother.  I would def take her to see a therapist or perhaps sit down and talk to her and tell her you love her and only want to help her.  I hope I helped

Answer 9

Maybe she is psychic.. i was watching this show on TV and there was these kids who were psychic and they got scared to sleep in their room.. so just ask her about it..

Answer 10

maybe she saw something in her room....go see a doc

Answer 11

Unless something has happened to her to cause this fear, she is old enough to understand. Maybe its just time to be firm and tell her to stop sleeping on her brothers floor. Shes old enough to know what NO means, and the consequences of going against you and her dads rules.

Answer 12

tell her to sleep in her own room or she'll be grounded. she's too old for that kind of behaviour, she's supposed to be a teenager now, not a toddler.

Answer 13

I used to do the EXACT same thing



except it was when i was 11 or 12

like i would want to sleep on the floor of my parents room

but they kicked me out, so i slept in the hallway

I wasn't scared or anything, i just preferred the floor...

...but i would have stopped earlier if my parents bribed me with money or something

like a dollar each time i slept in my bed.

EDIT: DO NOT

take her to a therapist or whatever, thats just stupid

shes sleeping there because she wants to. If my parents did that, i'd hate them until the end of time, and i'd become a rebel. bad idea.

Answer 14

It's pretty normal, I'm almost 14 and I used to sleep in the living room on a pull out couch with my mother sleeping near me. But I grew out of it with time. Now I sleep in my own room, and my own bed. It just takes time, trust me.

Answer 15

you should let her brother sleep with her in her room, maybe she likes being around him maybe he comforts her, or she could have a problem so maybe she should see a counselor.

Answer 16

Does she have a T.V in her room?  Getting her one can help.  Although many parents don't like it she can turn it on while trying to fall asleep.. She eventually will the distraction will comfort her and keep her mind off whatever she is afraid of.

Answer 17

maybe you can sleep in her room with her for a few nights.

or her and her sister could get bunk beds!

thats always fun.

:)

Answer 18

Does she have OCD? Or ADD?

if so its going to take alot of hard work and time.

your best bet is bribery.

Might sound childish, but tell her you'll make her favourite breakfast or you'll buy her lollies if she can make it through the night/week in her own bed.

Also try to make it as comfortable as it is in your bed.

Maybe tuck her in at night or read her a bed time story. i know she's a teen, but maybe it will comfort her.

Answer 19

I had the same problem.  Only I wasn't the parent, but the child sleeping in the parent's room.  The reason I slept in there is because I was comfortable there.  When I was little we had no heater, so during the winter, my parents would let my brother and I sleep between them.  My brother and I both got used to it, and kept sleeping with them for many years.  They tried countless things to get us out, but nothing would work.  I realized one day that a 13 year old should not sleep with her parents...only "kids" do that.  So, to comfort myself, I made makeshift parents.  I would bundle up pillows and blankets and lay them on one side of me, and sleep against the wall. This way I was crowded, which is how I was used to sleeping.  I think you basically should get to the source of the problem, and think up some way she can get that same comfort in her own room...even if it is on her own floor.

Answer 20

I heard kids who are afraid to sleep alone,may have had something happen to them when they were younger.

I'm 13(14 september 7.),my neice lives with me,she turns 4 the 25th.

me and her sleep in my moms bed. nothing's happened to me,but i did have father problems(never around,drama,divorce,in and out of my life). and that maybe the cause.It might be of mother problems,she needs some security.

Answer 21

My nephew is much younger than your daughter, but they used a reward method. Every night he slept all night in his bed, they tore a piece off of a counting strip they created themselves. At the end of seven or eight days, he received a reward. For him, because he's so young, it was a little toy from the dollar store. Since your daughter is thirteen, go for something you know she loves. Rewarding good behavior is the best way to go about this. And it gives her a reason to want to sleep in her bed. Good luck!

Answer 22

Maybe let her keep the door open or lay with her til she falls asleep!

Answer 23

Ask her WHY she sleeps there and not in her room.

Then help her from there.

Answer 24

By 13, she should be well adjusted to be sleeping by herself.  You really should put your foot down and stop her from sleeping in with her brother.  She has some issue apparently, and you must find out what it is.  Has someone in the family been "bothering" her during the night when she is in her own room?  And is she in with her brother as a means of protection from this supposed predator?  I'll bet you hadn't thought of that, but it could very well be the problem.  You must get her to fess up anything like that with great aplomb and ease.  Good luck.

Answer 25

Maybe she is scared from seeign a scary movie? Or she is scared of a bugerler coming in, or something like that.