How do we get our 14 year old son circumcised?

Question

I was born a Jew myself and I met my wife who is also Jewish (both Orthodox).

Our 14 year old son, Matthew, converted to Judasim recently, however we need to know how to get him circumcised as to be a proper Jew, one needs to be circumcised, however he does not know that we plan to have him circumcised and we need a solution. However if most Yahoo! editors disagree, then please give your ideas. Your thoughts are most welcome, but please no abuse, just straight answers, thanks.

Geoffrey and Marsha Selznik

Answer 1

that's horrible your supposed 2 do it when they are born too late now don't do it he is 14 he has a right to say and i think he might just notice when you go into the doctors or something for them to do it !!!!!

Answer 2

Don't be secretive about it. He's into being jewish, right? That's why he recently converted. So he should be up for the circumcision because he wants to be Jewish, right? Tell him what's going on with his life!

And I'm really sorry if I've offended you (I know very little about religions myself), I just think that  parents should always be open and honest to their kids.

Answer 3

You're horrible. Forcing your son to get a part of his body CUT OFF just to conform to some religion is ridiculous. Maybe you should ask him and if he goes into the doctor's office and decides he doesn't want it, you cannot force him. I think this is just sad.

Answer 4

You cannot get this done secretly without his permission. If he wants to do it thats fine but how can you even think about doing this to your son against his wishes? If he does not want the procedure leave him be, many Jewish leaders are actually abandoning circumcision saying it is no longer neccesary in the religion, afterall we used to kill animals as sacrifices but no longer do so.

Answer 5

You call his doctor and schedule it.

Answer 6

I was born into a christian family, adopted at 2 months by a jewish family raised by them and at 8 I got circumcised. Your son is 14 if you do this without him being in on the plan he will not respect or trust you. You need to sit him down and talk to him about the religious as well as health reasons for a circumcision and allow him to make his own decision, since it is his body! i chose to do it for the health reasons, and i was 8 he is 14 he will be able to make his own decision and to deprive him of that is just wrong. How would you feel if your parents made that kind of decision for you when you were 14? Wouldn't it take you a while to be able to trust them again? also did u adopt him? why didnt' you do it at birth?

Answer 7

This was in the news, the parents were in court trying to get their son a forced circumcision. Sick as h**l really, he's a human being and you have no right to force this on him. It would be different if he was a baby, but he's lived with it his entire life.

Answer 8

He's 14 don't you think he should have a say before you decide to cut a piece of his p***s off??? I wouldn't think a 14 yr old will not go very willingly to the doctor to have that done....Talk to him and see what he wants to do...

Answer 9

i know that you're his paretns and you can tell him what he can and can't do.. but have some respect for him and ask him his opinion on it. you can let him know the reasons as to why he should b/c of your religion. but dont trick him into getting it done. thats a permante desicion. when hes older he may wish he was uncircumcised.. but even being an adult still will not be able to do it.

im sure if you give him good enough reasons as to why he should he will. talk about safty reasons too

good luck

Answer 10

Explain to him that part of the conversion includes him getting circumcised. Do a lot of research on it first, like pain killers and stuff like that. You don't want to just tell him that you are chopping off his f******n because that will probably freak him out pretty good. Don't force him to do it though...allow him to do it in his time. Then you are going to talk to his doctor and schedule an appointment to get it done.

Answer 11

Secretly?? Are you crazy? Do you think asking him to disrobe and have his f******n cut off will not be noticed? It HURTS if you haven't guessed and normally for adults its done by a doctor while numb.

This must be a joke and I fell for it.

Dumb on me.

EDIT.......If you and his Mom are Jewish he didn't need to convert he was born a Jew. As long as the mother is jewis the son is consided Jewish. You would have had his Bris just like you had one.

You are so full of c**p posting this and all of us responding like its a legit question are nuts.

Answer 12

Aw dude that's gross.

Just call the doctor. It's not that hard.

EDIT-Oh yeah dude, that makes it even more messed up you aren't asking him. Talk to the kid!

You guys are wierd...

EDIT-SECRETLY DOING IT?!?!?! IS THIS A JOKE?!?!?1 THATS DISGUSTING AND WRONG I WOULD NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GUYS ARE SICK!!!!!!! ITS HIS EFFING BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!

How would you like it if someone lied to you and secretly brought you to a place where they were going to cut your body parts off?!?

Answer 13

Hi! I think that he is old enough to make this decision himself. He needs to know of your plans and if he does not agree then you need to find some solution. The first step is letting him know. It is his body and his decision.

GL I hope you figure it out!

Answer 14

Lots of people that got it at an older age seem traumatized by the situation. I know if I was a boy, and my parents were planing on that, I'd probably run away from them or something. That is kind of freaky. I'd be scared. They do that to BABIES for a reason!!

Answer 15

"I mean, how do we secretly get him to get circumcised e.g. say we're going somewhere then get him circumcised etcc"

Thats sick. your sick you cant force a 14 year old through that with out his consent. I am 15 and i would not like it if my parents did that to me. Fair enough its part of your religon, but you must give him a choice you cant just take him to a doctor one day and tell him to get his **** out, having no prior knowledge that he was going to be having it.

Answer 16

To be honest I do not agree with this, either at his current age or as a baby. Why would cutting off a part of your body, display or confirm your religious orthodoxy. You say that in order to be a proper Jew, he has to be circumcised, well that is a decision made by men and society. I would let him make the decision when he is over 18. Ultimately, If I told you that unless you chop off your little fingers, I wouldnt consider that you really loved me, you would feel I was manipulative and a bit of a control freak.

Its my opinion that the circumcision rules/tradition were made partly as a 'you need to prove your submission to me' and the other part of it was about hygiene in very hot cultures. There is nothing wrong with f******n if you bath and wash appropriately and every day, so ultimately, there is no physical or spiritual reason to have the f******n removed.

Its my opinion that it is ultimately mutilation.

Answer 17

that is going to hurt him a lot if you do it at this age, if its not done at birth then you may have to leave it, you can talk to your son about it before you do anything like that because secretly getting him circumcised will just make him really uncomfortable and he may be freaked out, so definitely talk to him before doing anything.

Answer 18

Secretly? What kind of person are you? If your son truly converted in heart and not just to please you then you should be able to talk to him and have him agree. Either way it is his decision and his alone to make. You cannot with any moral conscience do this secretly

BTW I am Jewish

Answer 19

If you were both born Jewish why didn't he have his ברת מילה when he was 8 days old? You should talk to a doctor about it and I don't understand; You and you wife were born Jewish Orthadox and your son converted to Judasim?

Answer 20

DONT DO IT, hes 14 for gosh sake. hes having enough problems in that dept. unless he asks to do it i would not even think about it. if it was THAT important, and your both such traditional jews why did you leave it 14 years?? forget it now, you missed your chance, anyway, im sure hes a good jew now just has that extra bit. im sure the jewish god or whatever it is will like him just the same.

OTHERWISE, get him to drink 2 litres of whiskey before getting it done. he wont feel anything after that much booze. and may actually think its a good idea then...  

Answer 21

its done at birth that is just sooooo gross why would you make him wait for

im not a jew (im a Pentecostal) and i belive that you should have it done at birth for health reasons

call a doc man!

Answer 22

Ok so somehow I don't think tricking him is the best choice. I would suggest talking to him about this and what it means in your religion. I would then allow him to make this decision. Remember that your talking to a teenage boy who will be very sensitive about his "manhood". Let him know that you will support him either way. If he is truly dedicated to your religion he will make the right choice. It might take some time but hang in there. You might also tell him it's much more hygienic to have the circumcision.

Answer 23

please dont do it in secretly is his choice not yours its his body, he will have to deal with the pain you may inflict on him if you get it done. i understand why  you would like to get it done but to be honest its his body if he doesnt want it done dont even think about getting it done against his will. he will have to live with it and if he doesnt like it it may affect his confedence and self estem. please remember its his choice do not force him to do it as it is his body. please do not take this the wrong way i am only giving my opionin.take care and talk to him about it please dont force him.

Answer 24

Just to start off I'm jewish too, so no disrespect meant...: Pleeeeease tell him. I'm really afraid that he'll never trust you again if you do this. At least talk to him first and see how he feels about it. Also I think that being a "proper" Jew rests on his straight belief not circumcision if he doesn't believe or want it.

Answer 25

I'm not dis-respecting or mocking your religion, but i think fourteen is a bit old to get circumsied, it may scar him mentalyyy ect. because of the age he is at, puberty ect. so i generally feel, that you dont really need it done? only if he doesnt want it donw though? But to answer the question i dont know where you could get it done.

Sorry if i offended you by saying it doesnt really need done, i know jews believe it needs to be done? But you could be modern jews? Sorry, i know very little about judism

Hope this useless answer helps anywayy...

x

Answer 26

You call the dr and schedule it, its not that hard! But being 14, i'd talk to him about it before making his appointment, its kind of a devastating thing for him to go through novv and it should be his decision since he is 14 novv!  

Answer 27

i understand that you would like this done for religious reasons, and i think if you talk to your son about it, he would be more understanding, especially as he chose to convert to judaism. However i would not recommend doing it secretly as at that age he will obviously notice that things look different.

at the end of the the day he is old enough to decide himself, but it would be best to talk to him about this, or even take him to a rabbi so that he can understand why you find this important.  

Answer 28

ask him first. then if he agrees, go to a doctor.

please dont push him, it's his desicion.

EDIT: You are seriously messed up if you are doing that to him in secret. that is bad parenting frankly, and something that he will hold against you for the rest of his life. I know i would never look at my parents the same way again, and i wouldn't talk to them for a long time.

Answer 29

So.. your going to tell him your going somewhere and then take him to a clinic where he will be forced to have his p***s cut off?

Fair enough your Jewish and thats what you do but at least ask him first! You should show him a video of what is done although that would scare him and he'll run a mile.

Just ask him and don't force him

Answer 30

I know it is your religon, but OUCH. You are supposed to get that done at birth. That is just cruel. You need to ask him first and don't you say were going somewhere and then force him to get circumcised. He will probably hate you forever because that is just cruel. You need to talk to him about it, he is 14 he can make right choices if he doesn't want too because that is very painful then don't do it.  

Answer 31

Please tell me this is just a sick joke...

Circumcision has no benefits,despite what your silly book says.  

The f******n is an important part of the p***s:

http://wreckingboy.livejournal.com/31854...

http://www.sexasnatureintendedit.com/10F...

There are many Jews that choose not to circumcise - it doesn't make them any less of a Jew .  In fact the Jews that don't circumcise go up A LOT in my estimation:

http://www.jewishcircumcision.org/