How do we get our overprotective parents to let us have a boyfriend ?

Question

My sister & I are 13 years old & we both have boyfriends but our parents are too over protective & won't let us have boyfriends. We don't even think they want us to be friends with boys. We're good girls, we hardly get into trouble, & we get really good grades. We wish our parents would trust us more. We wish we could tell them how we feel but its not that easy, they jump to conclusions before hearing what we have to say. So me & my sister are trying to figure out a way to get our parents to tell us themselves that we're allowed without us having to ask them. What we mean by allow is that we want to be able to have a boyfriend or at least know that they're okay with us being friends with boys & hanging out with them. We just don't wanna keep hiding this from them & we don't wanna get caught 'cause that would lead to more problems.

Thanks in advanced for your help :)

Answer 1

wow. haha, my parents are like that too.

tell them straight out that you want to hang out with boys. (don't use the word DATING) but be casual about it. mention guys in your conversation.

"haha, today. blah blahh blahhhh. " slightly mention a boy to see how they react. if they blow.. calm them down. from time to time, get them used to the idea that you DO HAVE BOYS AT SCHOOL. then move on from there..i mean , you're 13. liking boys is natural. (:

Answer 2

Maybe you should start by asking to do 'group' outings that include boys, with parental supervision.  

Thirteen is young to have a boyfriend.  That implies something more serious than just casually dating or even being social with boys.  Understand, they are not being mean to you...they are just trying to be good parents.  

What you should ask, is when can you start dating and when are you allowed to have a boyfriend. For some parents this may be two different ages, but it does not hurt to have your parents state in no uncertain terms what is okay and what is not.  

If your parents see that you can handle going out with groups of friends (boys and girls) then maybe you can start building that trust with them so that when the time comes and you are ready to date or have a boyfriend you can approach the subject again and have something to back it up with.

Answer 3

Might I suggest going at it from this approach.

Ask them when you can start dating.  We will assume it is some time in the distant future.  Now have them explain to you how you should act with a boy.  How to deal with guys without getting in trouble.   Most likely they will try to tell you that you are too young, and when you get older you will know these things.

That's when you hit them.  "No, age isn't magic,  I will know nothing more in 3 years then I know now, unless I have been taught and have the experience to deal with situations and boys.  I would prefer you to help me, guide me, and teach me by letting me date under your supervision and guidance.   I would prefer you give me the benefits of your wisdom and experiences as I learn to deal with my feelings and others as well."

I am a big believer in dating early.... under adult supervision.  Actually at 13, you are getting a bit old!  If you had started at 8 or 10, you would not mind your parents hanging around.  The guy would have welcomed having your dad with you, as you went bowling or to the movies.

Now, its going to be awkward, for you and for your boyfriend.  In fact you probably don't want to do much in public.  Work towards:  1.  Parents accepting you have a boy friend.  2.  Parents allowing said friend to come over while they are home.  3.  Doing family type stuff with boy friends.

As you, your dates, and your parents all do things together, certain things will happen.  You will actually learn... and that statement above is not bull, you will pick up a lot from your parents that you could not possibly learn going out on your first date at age 16 (or 18 or 21).  You will learn what your parents expect of you.  Your parents will learn to trust you.  Most importantly your boyfriends will learn to respect you and your family.

Then, when you turn the magic 16 or whatever your parents ideal age for dating is, you can go out by yourselves with a good deal of experience and knowledge under your belt.  Also my experience has shown me that parents tend to remove restrictions a lot faster as trust builds....

Answer 4

Your'e 13....I won't wastre my time with this

Answer 5

ugh my girlfriend is like never even allowed to go outside!

its annoying.

Answer 6

Maybe you should start to realize there trying to do the best for you and maybe you should stop being so selfish in thinking it's all about you and your boyfriend when maybe your parents have a good reason.

Answer 7

truthfully, you guys are too young to have boyfriends. but you can be friends with boys, just not boyfriends, well at least, not yet. have an honest talk with your parents (about befriending boys), im sure theyll understand.

Answer 8

You are 13!!  Why would need or even want a boyfriend at that age?  Enjoy life without one, hang out with your friends.  The extra stress that comes with having a boyfriend is not worth it at your age.  Do you really think you will meet the man you are going to marry at age 13.  There is a reason they don't want you to have one and when you are older you will realize why.  You're too young to have s*x, of any sort, shouldn't be making out either cause that could lead to more.  Be friends with boys, don't date them.

Answer 9

Just be your self...I my parents would be the same way...any parent would feel that way...but all i would do is sit them down...and say responsible you are...how you act mature....and being mature is the whole key...becuz if you are not it might give your parents the sign that your not ready 4 this....but this plan might take some time...start by doing things like cleaning your room without your parents telling you 2...or starting your homework 2 be4 you watch TV and stuff like that....and that might just sau to your parents that...Oh shes getting alot more older, maturer....and the trusting part o this problem...ask your parents if they want you 2 do sum things babysitting....its a big task but it might just show that you can be trusted...

And that might just work....

Goodluck!!!

P.S:

LET THIS PLAN TAKE AT LEAST 2 WEEKS....

AFTER THE 2 WEEKS SIT YOUR PARENTS DOWN...

BE CALM COOL AND COLLECTED....

DONT BE NERVOUS TO SAY WATS ON YOUR MIND....

Answer 10

i know what you mean im 14 and i still cant have a boyfriend till im 16. but try to talk to them and show  them you are mature enough to have a boyfriend. and ask them can you start hanging out with boys and talk on the  phone.  hope this works.