How do we get that spark back?

Question

My husband and I have been together almost 8 years. I long for the times we used to stare at each other, hold each other. Just that beginning love. I know that life will never be like the first "honeymoon" years, but I long for those touches again. We get along wonderfully and really do have a strong love for each other. Life has just gotten so chaotic that sometimes we forget about those little things. Any suggestions on how to start feeling that love again?

Answer 1

you didnt say if you have kids.  if you do, well there you go.  the ultimate romance killer.  is it possible to have a date night like maybe friday nights?  get a sitter and "date" like you did before.  this works so well.  life does get in the way, but you have to make time even if you think there is no time.  if you are tired to from work, kids, it can be hard to make the effort since any time you have you just want to sleep.  but try it.  start early.  go to dinner, take a walk in the park, go to the beach (so beautiful and night and so romantic), don't do a movie, its a waste of valuable time you could be spending making out!  plus, you might fall asleep there.  good luck.

Answer 2

Try some as simple as a "date night" Once a month is you two are so very busy. Go to dinner watch a movie out, or in. Take a walk on the beach, or lake whichever you are near. Most time its not the spark that is gone persay, its you are too comfortable and people just need to be reassured, Even if married 8 year. Its a wonderful feeling. Maybe these dates will help the long conversations, the holding eachother etc. Make you appreciate each other more. Its easy to lose sight of something you love when its always there, but when its not said or felt enough, its needed more so work on it and dont give up.  

Answer 3

You can get the spark back once you stop talking to each other like you have.

You've been married almost eight-years and in those years you both have developed a sense of gratitude towards one another, but routine kills a Mockingbird.

You must adapt back to realization when you would look at each other when you talked instead of talking and not even taking a second glance.

You walk by each other and talk, but taking for granted because it's there.

We all tend to lose touch in someway and routine takes over and the relationship takes on a whole new dimension.

When either of you are away from each other that realization comes back, but not with your significant and this is one major spark for an affair so get right at home as well as others in your local jurisdiction of work, family & friends and home.

Work on your ethics with each other and never forget who you are and why you married each other. Do not take each other for granted because that's the number one failure of marriages.

Answer 4

send each other cards or love notes or call just to say i love you. look at past videos and read past love letters.

Answer 5

Both my exes keep telling me that and for the life of me i cant figure out why . Did you all miss it the first time around or what?

Answer 6

dinner together and a babysitter for the kids.  Go on a date together.

Answer 7

PLEASE take time for each other no matter how chaotic life is!! We were just like you and we let life get in the way and my hubby had an affair. Now we make sure we try new things, have a date at least monthly and take time to communicate on a regular basis. Please put your relationship first because the chaos is even more chaotic without each other.

Answer 8

Life is to short to not enjoy your relationship.  Make sure to take time out of your hectic schedules for small dates and things that you did when you first started dating.  If you have to then initiate or talk to him about it.  Maybe you need to see how teenagers act and take pointers from them.  They always have fun in the relationships, so take a step back in time and act like kids occasionally.

Answer 9

Start small and work your way up. Set aside a date night just the two of you, Movies or really romantic place for dinner.

When you go to the store just grab his hand while your walking around.

Make it a habit to hug and kiss when you get home for at least 5 minutes.

You two are bound to reconnect.

Answer 10

Well, i was in the situation that you are in and got some advise that i found was heaven sent........ Well to make the long winded answer shorter this is the simple. You need to think back to what you felt back in the beginning. What i mean is concentration on the things that you liked in the beginning and doing the things YOU use to do will inspire HIM to do what he use to do. See, most males don't think about the little things like women do. We kinda need a lil help in that department. It might take a lil time for him to catch on to what your doing, but trust from a male in-site, we do learn and love the rewards of keeping our queens happy :~) Please let us know how it works out

Answer 11

in the everyday chaos, it's hard to remember to take time for yourselves. set aside some time to be just for the two of you. even if it's just to sit together and watch a favoriite television show. not only is it enjoyable while it happens but it gives you both something to look forward to. good luck.

Answer 12

just act like you did in the beginning... when i say that I mean take your space and when you do spend time together make it count... turn off ur phone and watch a movie under the blankets.. do random things to eachother to get that nervous feeling back.. thats what the first months are about.. never knowing what to expect... Just surprise your significant other and they will do the same.. good luck

Answer 13

read Dr Gary Chapman's "five love languages" the both of you. it will make sure you love tank is full.

Answer 14

My hubby and I went through that, It very common. We however make date nights. Some ppl say once a week but  with work and money we get to go out every 2 weeks.  Sometimes we just stay home and actually make plans to be romantic( we have 2 kids so spontaneous is hard..lol) and at any rate just be patient you will get back in the groove.

Answer 15

five love languages sucks!!! search the web for books or something