How do we keep sexual interest going?

Question

I just asked this same question a few minutes ago. This time I wanted to add that I do tell a lot about how I play with myself and think of him. He doesn't react. He always says we shouldn't talk about s*x if we can't have it. He does wanna see some b***s on webcam, though, occassionaly and says that he is turned on whenever he sees something. Sometimes he will just see my face on cam and say he is turned on. But he is mostly just like that when he sees me on cam. I want excitement on the phone, too. How do I have "phone s*x" with him? Say dirty things and act like I'm coming? What kind of things do I need to say?

I'm in a long-distance relationship right now, Europe to USA. We are getting married next year.

What can we do now to keep each other turned on sexually??? What can I write in an e-mail, what can I say on Messenger, what can I say on the phone??? Webcam? I want him to keep wanting me even though we are apart, and I know men need their satisfaction. I would like to give that to him at least in some way even when we are apart.

He is always wanting to see me on webcam, it's kind of embarassing for me, though. Should I just get over myself? I want to keep my man happy. I mean, men have needs, we all know that. I would like to do my best considering the ocean between us for now.

Please no jokes. It's actually a serious question.

Answer 1

I wana exchnage my feelings and the story with you as iam in a long term relationship with one sitting 7000 miles away from me, i will be obliged if you can mail me direct at my id instead of yahoo ans, its:

[e-mail]

waiting to hear from you

Answer 2

My wife and I are separated alot since I am in the Military and yes we have phone s*x,  You can talk to him about things you would do to him if you were together, ie; l**k him in places he likes, tell him to insert it and whisper sensually in and out of my dripping mouth, box ...

Describe your b*****s to him

As for the web cam, if he is alone and you are alone what is the difference if he sees you on web cam or in person.  It is you he wants and he is not wandering and cheating on you.  

This all works for me and I am sure you can think of other things to do or say once you get started.

There is also a book of penthouse letters, you can buy that and read that and get ideas on what to fantasize about and what to say.  (Personally I think alot of them are made up, but if it works why not)

Hope this helps

Answer 3

As a man, I've never really bought the "men have needs" saying. Yes, we are very interested in s*x, but that line can be used to try to excuse so much.

From what you say, your guy sounds fairly sexually inhibited. Maybe he just has a low s*x drive; that happens. Or maybe he just finds "virtual" s*x very frustrating because it's not "real" s*x as far as he's concerned.

For a few months last year, my then-partner and I had a long-distance relationship and we sometimes went a couple of weeks between seeing each other. Phone s*x became part of how we coped with the separation.

My experience is that it's much easier to do if you're used to talking dirty during s*x. We found that the verbalising created a problem because talking keeps you "in your head" (functioning on an intellectual level) when s*x, at it's best, is far more primitive than that. Because of this, we slipped into alternating the "active" (talking) partner while the other just listened, did whatever felt good to him or herself and kept some vocal, but non-verbal feedback going.

How you deal with this is something you have to figure out, but I would say that one thing you definitely should not do is "act like you're coming". However well-meant, that would be a lie and so something to avoid. It is, however, a VERY different matter for you to bring yourself to a real o****m while he tells you what he's imagining he's doing to you and you to him.

You say you've told him you m********e while fantasising about him and he hasn't responded positively. I can see how you found that disappointing. Many guys find that idea alone very exciting; it should be something that he at least finds flattering. Since you have a video link, maybe he'd get a bit heated up if you actually did it with the camera showing just your face. Maybe you could then ask him to tell you what he'd like to do to you and you can watch him talking to you while you do whatever feels good. It's possible that your guy watching you do that might be enough to make him want to develop things further. From there - with a cam, some imagination, some interesting clothes and perhaps a toy or two - the possibilities are extensive.

Two words of warning, though.

First, please be certain that you trust your guy _totally_ before doing any of this on cam. You don't want to find out just what a scumbag he is when videos of you in very compromising positions surface on YouTube or land in your friends' In Tray.

Second, be aware that doing this stuff properly can be VERY frustrating and can result in explosive reactions when you finally meet again. And that would be just so totally horrible, wouldn't it? ;->

I do hope you manage to thaw him out a bit and get as much as you can from the relationship through this difficult period. However - and sorry to end on a down note - if there's a clear mis-match between your s*x drive and his, maybe you need to think careful about how suited you are.