How do we know when it is the "right" time to have our first child?

Question

I am 26 years old, my husband is 34 and we've been married for 5 years. We have no children. I just graduated with my bachelors degree and plan to go for my masters degree in social work next fall. My husband has a decent job and I work part time as a bank teller. We aren't rich by any means, but we aren't poor either, we're middle class & we have health insurance.

I have PCOS, which my doc said could lower my chances of getting pregnant, although I am taking medication for it. We keep putting preg off until I am finished with my masters degree, till we buy a house, till we have more money, a better job, etc, etc. I feel like if we keep putting it off until the "right" time, we'll never have a child.

I want a baby and am afraid that we're putting it off too long. But I am also scared because being a parent is a big step. How do I know when it is the "right" time? My husband is apprehensive as well but he said he's leaving it up to me.

How do we know when it is the "right" time to have our first child?

Answer 1

I think if you look at it in the way you have been you could convince yourself it is never the right time.  Having a child will change your life AND you will have to make adjustments - but things always work out.  I've seen many students who become pregnant in school, have a child during the semester, etc.   It all works out.  It sounds like you are ready - planned parenthood is about wanting a baby and planning to have one - not finding the "perfect time"

DA

Answer 2

You know it's the right time when you don't have to ask or wonder.

Answer 3

no one can answer this for you but some things to look at are can you afford it, do you have room, are you done with "your time" ......you just gotta remember that it will never be just the two of you again....how likely are you to want to just get up and go?.....now all that having been said, my dad once told me that my husband at the time and i should have waited until we could afford to have kids to have them.....my husband said h**l if everyone waited till they could afford it there would be no babies around.....i tend to agree with that....good luck to you

Answer 4

As they say, "there will never be a perfect time to have a baby".  Now that I have one, I know this is true.  My husband and I have been married 4 years and put off having a baby for all the same reasons you are. I am 30, he is 31, we both have our Masters Degrees. He is in the education field, I have a decent job in HR. Our baby is three months, and although I still feel like we weren't ready financially (and we don't own a home), I don't care.  I am so glad to have him here and I thank God every day for allowing me to be a mother...even if it's not the ideal situation.  If you wait for the perfect time financially, it may not be the perfect time healthwise...you never know what could happen.  Having a child is a difficult decision, it's great to hear that you are planning and taking these types of things into consideration. Good luck!

I agree that there would be no babies if everyone waited until they could afford them.  Regarding space, I live in a tiny one bedroom house... they sleep with you or near you for the first year anyway, and if you breastfeed, they are practically attached to you 24-7, so who needs space?