How do we tell our families we are engaged? HELP!

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months. A week ago he popped the question and I of course said yes. Here lies the problem. Our two families are very different. Whereas my father has a very liberal outlook and really likes my husband-to-be, his parents are not as open minded and are quite overprotective. As a result i suspect that they don't really like me or my upbringing. I get along very well with his siblings and we know that they will be very supportive.

We are fairly certain that my family will support us fully for they haven't given us any reason to think otherwise.

The hardest tension fighting against us is I am still in college and living with my parents at the moment while my fiance lives two hours away with his (hes right now working at changing jobs to we can get our own place but money is very tight). We aren't looking to get married in the next year, but still we don't want to hide news like this from those who are close to us.

Please can you help us find a way to 'break' the news to the folks?

BONUS QUESTION (20 extra credit points on next weeks exam):

Any advice on how to tell our friends as well?

Answer 1

Tell each family separately and  - just tell them.  Your problem probably won't be with the telling.  It will be during the engagement when your boyfriend's parents do everything they can do to stop the marriage from happening.

As for your friends, just tell them.  They will probably be thrilled for you both.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

You should not have to hide this! This is suppose to be a wonderful time for you. And it's not like your not thinking ahead, and planning things carefully. I will be the first to say CONGRATULATIONS!

You should plan a dinner party, with both families, or perhaps a cookout. Invite his family over to your place, seeings how your family will be the most supportive. Explain to them that you are engaged, and your not planning on getting married right away, let them know what your plan is, what your thoughts are and ask for there thoughts. Show them how excited you both are! Then if all goes well, together the family's can throw a engagement party for you guys with all your friends and family. Good luck! I hope they can be understanding, and very supportive of you 2!

Answer 3

its like you don'tot need to tell them directly just hang around with him and they will come to know and remember always tell the truth. coz truth is the only thing that cannot be defied. REMEMBER..  

Answer 4

First off your friends should be ecstatic and share in your engagement bliss! Have a party and invite them all and announce it at the same time.  It was easiest to tell my friends before my family.

As for the families... My fiance and I had an issue with my family not being very excited about our engagement even though they expected it as they let him move in with us when he moved here (nevada) from Ohio.  

All you can do is sit your parents down first, alone, with just the 4 of you (fiance & your mom & dad) and announce the news to them first seeing as you feel they won't have much of an issue with it as they like your fiance.  Get the easy members to tell out of the way first this way you will get that boost of confidence you will need to tell the rest of the family.  

Once you have your family & friends knowing and excited and happy for you move to his family.  Don't attack the whole family at once just the parents.  Take them out to dinner or do something special and nice with them to maybe keep a neutral setting.  Tell them how you 2 feel about one another and explain your feelings and such and move into the fact you 2 have decided to start a life together.

I hope this helps you and I do wish you and your fiance all the best for the future. Good luck and don't let the families split what you 2 have together.  Stay strong and things will all work out and smooth themselves in the end.

Answer 5

Hi and congratulations!

Geez....I don't even know what to tell you.  I have never read a question like this.

Most people can't wait to run and tell their parents!  Just say...."hey mom and dad....guess what....Tom and I are engaged!"

I mean....what else can you say?  You tell your parents (or do it together) and he tells his (or, again, do it together!)

Hopefully you will have support.  If not...oh well.

And the friends?  Again, I'm confused!  If they are "friends" well....wouldn't they be happy for you?  Hmmm......

Answer 6

Dont bring both the families together when you tell them fights will most likely break out. Tell gently and let them know that you both still plan to finish school and stuff. If they dont like it them pray on it.The friends will probably be happy for you so just tell them flat out that your getting married

Good luck

Answer 7

Tell them you are pregnant.  When they stop freaking out, tell them that you're not pregnant, just getting married, and wanted to put it into perspective.  

Answer 8

Just be truthful you will find it is the best way

Answer 9

I see your dilema and it is a tough one because he is still living at home with his parents.  You living with yours isn't really a problem since your parent's are probably not going to have a problem with it.

My advice would be set a day you are going to tell your parents.  Tell yours first as they will be the easiest.  For his, have a day when his siblings will be there too and tell them together.  This will show a united front from the very beginning.  Express you do not plan to be married until next year.  You can also then let his Mom know you would love for her to be involved in helping with the planning and look forward to her input when you are ready to start planning the details.

You both need to be prepared for the upcoming problems if his parent's are truly against it.  He has to be prepared to be able to stand up to them and say.....this is the woman I am going to marry and spend the rest of my life with.  He also has to be prepared to not ask you....come on, it isn't a big deal.  Just do it this way to make her (his mom) happy.  He needs to be fully supportive of what YOU and HIM want for the wedding and not compromise that just to smooth the water.  She will do what she can to make it tough on you.  On the other hand, you need to be willing to say is that really important or a big deal or am I just saying no because I know it is what she wants and I am not going to let her have anything.

Believe me, it can get very ugly and even you can lose yourself in the back and forth drama if you let it.  

If you both stand strong and love each other, you will make it though.  Be sure to sit down and talk about whether you are both ready for the drama at this point since he is still living there.

As for your friends, just tell them!!  

Answer 10

Just tell them straight out but make it known you will have an engagement period and will set a date later, when you have graduated or when he has a stable income. I'm sure the more his parents get to know you they will accept your differences. Afterall opposites attract. I'm sure you can invite your friend over for a bbq and break the news. Good luck.