How do women with children?

Question

that are under 14 handle dating? It seems like it would be really tough to date with a kid that needs their parent around a lot. I have the opportunity to date a woman with a 10 year old but I am having second thoughts. How soon do you introduce a guy to them? How do you handle alone time with your guy? What about s*x, is there any? Will we ever be able to go on vacations or even dates? It seems like a lot of obstacles. Can anyone help me with their point of view?

Answer 1

The child is part of the deal. If u treat the child bad your not going to get any where with her

Answer 2

ok.. is this even getting serious? If its not serious why are you getting so into it. i mean if your serious then yeah you should talk to her but it doesnt sound serious and she can get a babysitter.. or if you go out on weekends you can have the father of the child watch her/him or grandparents i dont see why your making such a big deal out of it... either way its not a big deal.  

Answer 3

I am a single parent with a 11 year old daughter.  My boyfriend has a 12 year old daughter so maybe that helps.  We get a couple nights a week plus every other weekend to ourselves.  As far as when to introduce...that is up to the parent.  If it is just a couple dates the parent may want to wait because they don't want to their child to see and endless parade of dates.  

When my boyfriend and I met I let him know that my daughter and I are a package deal.  She has a father she doesn't need another one, but if wanted to be with me he had to accept my daughter as my number one priority.  Luckily he is a great guy and he understood and respected that...actually he preferred it that way as he has a daughter and expects the same respect.  

As far as s*x...we are not lacking and have a very active s*x life.

If you have no children on your own it may seem like a lot of obstacles, but if you really like the woman you have to be willing to except her and her child.  You have to understand that her child will more than likely be her number one priority.  (and any woman who puts a man in front of her child...would you really want someone like that?)

If you do not want the "hassles" of dating a single mom then you need to break it off with her now before someone gets emotionally involved and gets their heart broke.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Well... some introduce the kids to the guy right away...some wait quite some time! there is no set rule on his...

I know I'm going to wait quite some time...

And yes, s*x does exist for single moms who are dating.

Yeah, the kids can't watch themselves... but babysitters do exist!

I know that when I do go on a date, my parents gladly baby sit for me..! While extended vacations would be kind of hard, dating isn't that hard... just gotta get a baby sitter!

Answer 5

I have a special needs child who is under 14 and my daughter is 17.  My husband left when they were a few months and 5 yrs old.  I dated, and got laid, no problemo.  But if you don't feel ready to take on this commitment tell your lady friend now so she can move on and find someone who can.

After my husband left i had two long term relationships (one of which is still ongoing and the other one is a guy who still comes round to see us all regularly and who we see as part of our family).  In fact it is my birthday on Saturday and me, my kids, my partner and my ex partner (and my daughter's boyfriend) are all going out for the day.  

Yes you can date with kids, indeed it is important to have special time because you have kids BUT don't expect to date on your own every few days.  Try to be part of the family, interact with the kid.  

Yes you can go on vacation but the kids will come along as well.

As to s*x, I have never gone longer than 3 months without s*x, and that was when I wasn't in a relationship.  I personally like s*x and the guys I am with like s*x too.  So just cos a women is a mummy doesn't mean she can't be a lover as well.

Seriously, it doesn't sound as if you are comfortable with all this.  Perhaps you need to find a lady without commitments.  

Answer 6

It is a little tough to date when you're a single mother.  Mother's shouldn't make their children's lives a revolving door.  My children never met anyone I dated unless I decided they were nice enough to be around my children.  I generally introduced them as my new friend.  I raised my children with boundaries so they understood that I needed alone time.  Yes of course there is s*x.  My ex husband was an active part of the kids lives so during those times is when I wold date.  It is a package deal, and it's hard.

As a matter of fact I stopped dating men who didn't have children of their own because it was too hard to walk the tightrope with men who were selfish and didn't understand that my kids had to be first.

I wound up marrying a man who had 3 kids of his own which is nice because he understands that my ex has to be part of our lives and I understand that his ex has to be part of our lives too.

I'm not saying stop dating her, but I am saying that if you're not ready to accept that the child will be coming with you on many outings and vacations then you're not ready to date a single mom. If you want to date her then commit yourself to getting to know her child.

Answer 7

Babysitters! Or if the father has the child every other weekend, it frees her up for a date or romantic weekend trip.

I waited until I knew we were serious to introduce them. s*x is great becuase most young childern have early bedtimes. ;)

It is a lot of obstacles, but with the right peron makes it worth it.  Good luck!  

Answer 8

It sounds like your not ready to accept the roll of a parent, so I would advise you to evaluate this relationship.  I married a woman with five young children, yes it is hard, and it was difficult, but when you love someone, you will do whatever it takes to make that love work.  Good luck.

Answer 9

i am going to answer this from the opposite pojnt of view, because i dont realyl knwohow it is on the primary care givers side of the fence - however, i am sure the father of the child has some visitation, and dates and things, including s*x and whatever, can occur on those nights the daughter is with her dad.. you really shouldnt meet her child, until both you and she have been together long enough to know you will have a long lasting relationship, because its really not fair to introduce the kid to someone they may get attatched to, just so that person can walk out of their life, expecially a potential father figure, such as yourself...

my man has 2 kids... he only has them 2-4 days out of the week.. in the beginning, i only got to be with him the nights he didnt have them, but then, as things progressed, i slowly started spending time with the kids mroe and more... it took almost a year before we started to kiss in front of them, but they understand now, that somedya, i could be their step mom... i didnt meet them until we had been dating for 3 months and knew we were going to stay together, and then, it took a long time before they saw me whenever he had them.. now, i spend the night at his house, on the couch of course when they stay over, and yes, we have still had s*x after they have gone to sleep, with no fear of them waking... but, in this type of relationship, patience is necessary and jealousy has no place, because her ex will always be in her life... and he might hate you because of his daughter.. just be mature... it can be 100% worth it... i love my mans kids like they were my own... we're like a family when we're together, and that helps the kids thrive too... he is currently trying to get more custody of them, which will mean less time with me, but someday, when things are right, he and the kids and i will all move in together and life will be grand! like i said, patience is a virtue when dating people with children...

Answer 10

Hi there I have a website about relationships, it might be useful, if not there are some good links there.

Good luck

http://www.dream-life-coaching.com/relat...

Answer 11

I would at least be dating a few months before wanting to be introduced to the children.

A woman with kids is not tough, she's just human with needs like anyone else. Instead of the responsibilities of just work and home, she has additional responsibilities of caring and emotionally supporting her children. Anyone who can do all that and her kids are nice should be scooped uped pronto!

Alone time: Kids at the 10 yr age are pretty self suffient. They just need some quality time. You could also do movie night to where everyone is together, but you still get the "cuddle" and togetherness.

I'm pretty sure there is s*x. you just need to decide if you will stay the night or leave in the morning AFTER breakfast. Don't try to sneak out before the kids are up as you are not setting a healthy standard for them to follow. You should never at any point feel ashamed of your relationship with the mom.

Dates= babysitter/ sleepover at a friends house.

Vacation= dad's house (if in the picture) or a family vacation with a separate room for the two adults.

I think you are making the dating issue harder then it needs to be. If you like a person, date them just as you would a single person. After a few months if she still likes you then maybe you will get to meet the kid. If not you have not brought yourself into the kids life. You are not their father, and you should not try to be. Even if the two of you do marry you are not the child's father. Care and respect them as a person and they should give you the same back.

Be a little easier on yourself...you haven't even went on a first day.

Answer 12

I have 2 children aged 6 and 9 and still managed to date. I know this is the other way around but if I can do it then there is no reason why anyone else can't. I am now in a fabulous realtionship with the perfect woman.

Fact: If the relationship is right you will find ways to work around any of these obsatcles that crop up.

http://www.overcomelonelinessnow.com  

Answer 13

Just imagine,if this child was your own and this woman in question was your wife,then won't you go for romantic getaways with your spouse? Won't you have s*x with her? Won't you spend time alone with her? True love finds a way out for romance. If you are looking at this child as an obstacle,then back off and find a woman with no kids.This current relationship is not gonna head anywhere coz no woman wud want a man who dislikes or considers her child as a hurdle in the relationship.

Answer 14

Well, it's sort of up to her how she handles it.  The only question for you, is if this date became a relationship became something serious, can you handle having the 10 year old in your life?  

But your question here is valid, even though it's out of your hands.  For dates, she should get a babysitter.  Moms and Dads that are married go out for the evening or for the weekend, why not single Moms (or Dads)?  You pick her up, go out, whatever happens, happens.  I think it's reasonable to assume s*x will not be at her place unless things get very serious between you two.

I don't think you should meet her child until you and she are a serious couple.  It's too hard for children to deal with comings and goings in their parents' lives.

But as for dating and/or s*x, this really shouldn't be an issue.  Go out, have fun and if you like her, you can discuss your introductions at a much later date.

Good luck!

Answer 15

If you were really interested  in her and cared about her you wouldn't be asking these dumb questions. Kids always come first!