How do you act unbothered?..........?

Question

My husband and I have a good marriage but he is very selfish, he buys all kinds of goodies. We own his own construction business, we own all of our equipment and the road tractor, we have 3: 4-wheelers, a bass boat, tons of property with animals, he has a 2008 GMC extended cab fully loaded and a 2008 Dodge fully loaded (his work truck), I have a lincoln Navigator, but this is not the point....he came from money so he has no concept of it. Every year he goes on these hunts he is big game hunter.. that cost between $1500 to $10,000. Things we do is always with his friends and what he wants to do. HE doesnt want to ever do anything with the boys and me. We have 4 boys and 1 girl. He never ever wants to participate in any family things with us, now if its his family, mom dad etc...he's there, but here is what I am just hurt over...my birthday came last week and he got me a card and gave me one of his new company hats that we just had printed up due to we ran out of the other ones and the UPS truck happened to have arrive right when I was pulling in the driveway...Yes, he does provide for me and the kids, our daughter is in Virginia going to college, we have a son that is a senior, twins in the 10th and one in the 4th. We have had a few talks not really directly about his big spending which it doesnt bother him. IT does me..I am very frugal. I dont spend money for nothing he is always gripping at me for being so tight. I dont like living like that...I mean yes we can afford things but I have no desire to spend money. In any case, at my birthday dinner that his mother cooked for me, all family there his grandparents, mom dad and my family, I turned 40 I thought he would had thrown me a huge party....in any case one of his brothers asked him what did he buy me and he said, a card, why, and he looked at me and said well if you ever want something you can just go buy it,,,that is always his answer, its like he puts no effort in me. I am so tired of him doing this to me..I always go way out for him and the kids, they are the same as he is, they have no care in the world and I am always the drama QUEEN as they all put it....But last Christmas he had me to go thru catalogs and pick out things I liked the whole time I was looking thru it I was crying and hurting...that isnt love....he bought me a pair of camoflauge pj's from gander mountain....i just am so sick of him being so incoinciderate..that is how he does me all the time. When he turned 40 6 years ago, I threw a HUGE party..I spent alot of time and effort not to mention $$$ on his party, he didnt even remember it was my day until the day before due to his mom called him to ask what he was doing for me..and she suggested she cook and he agreed....I AM SO HURT....I have a beautiful life. We have 5 very healthy children most are wonderful for the most part, we have a beautiful 8000 square foot home, we have 892.5 acres, we have horses and have a summer home in the mountains of North Carolina that was his grandpas old home place in the early 1900's, its not about money, but I am so miserable...I want him to do something just for me once in a while. I am sure if I went missing for 6 months no one would miss me until they realized they had no more groceries or needed their clothes washed...PLEASE HELP!!!!! what do I do to get my husband to remember me and do things for me too.....I dont mean to sound like a whine bag...I just want to feel wanted and needed...All the kids are crazy over thier dad, they think he hung the moon and so does all of his and my family, he came from a huge group of guy friends that all grew up together that he always hangs out with and drinks with....he doesnt even need me....Oh there are lots of women in our town and else where that would love and have tried to get their claws in him...but he says, not sure but he says he would never....I just want some advise....I keep my mouth mostly and never ever say anything, but when i do i get a deaf ear. So I just act like it doesnt bother me...I have spent many times driving around crying or hid in my upstairs guest bedroom crying.....

married and miserable 23 years

Answer 1

no one is gonna read this

go to a psychologist lady

you're insane to think people give a **** about your problems

Im actually laughing for reals XD

SERIOUSLY LOLZing my *** off!

Especially 'cause you're an ungrateful, stuck up rich *****

if you were really upset, you wouldn't be boasting about you're perfect cute little housewife life pinchi idiota!

Answer 2

WOW!!! THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING!!!

But instead of getting his attention..why don't you just focus your attention to your kids? (nahhh..superficial suggestion)

I would feel the same if my husband treats me that way..anyway..

think of this..what was the reason why your husband married you in the first place? what was the very thing he likes or loves about you?

you must have overlooked these questions and if you do so..try to be what you were before..way back when he was head over heels in love with you..

Answer 3

Too bulky to read. Can I have briefly, please

Answer 4

OMG you done your loyal part , being at your husband side and raising the kids . Its time for YOUR life to start. Find yourself , indulge perhaps FIND your true soulmate. Just cause you had kids and have been married for 23 yrs does not make him your life. Start living for yourself!! BE BRAVE TAKE A CHANCE !!

Answer 5

So your youngest is in the 4th grade and two are in the 10th grade.

and your oldest is at College. The kids seem to be happy and

they love their Dad. What do they do to get his attention?

Kids don't love and adore a Daddy that is never around and just

throws presents at them.

And from what I understand your husband isn't very bright when

it comes to picking a present for you.

Don't think he does it on purpose... they mean well but they have

no idea what it is women want. My father used to upset my mother with his "presents" all the time until my sisters and I finally took him aside one day and took him shopping for the right present.

It made him happy and my mother was delighted, for once..

Your description of your husband sounds awfully familiar.

My father was the same way... Constantly out and about pursuing

fun stuff to do. He used to get up at dawn to go fishing and hunting and I don't know how many countless trips he took and how many friends he had stuff to do with.

My mother on the other hand used to fume over it and spend her time cleaning the house, cooking huge meals for supper. She had a precise time table and every Sunday the same drama would unfold.

She would get up early and prepare a huge meal from scratch.

Time to eat was exactly at Noon. No one was allowed to start eating until my father showed up from his morning excursion. Of course Dad never managed to be on time and she would sulk for the rest of the day and not talk to him. After an hour or so of the cold shoulder treatment my dear old Dad would get up and leave the house again

to do whatever it was that made him happy.

Once we got older my sisters and I fled too.

You know why? Because Dad taught us to be happy and independent.

He taught us that the most important thing in Life is to be content with yourself. If you have a hobby that you love - pursue it.

He was always baffled by my mothers outbursts but when he couldn't figure out how to make her happy, he moved on.

When I got older I finally figured out that Mom didn't really want to change this either. She actually loved nothing more than being the center of attention - even when the attention was negative.

When she could feel sorry for herself and complain about my father's selfish behavior to somebody - she was in heaven.

Unfortunately my father died in his mid 50's...

They were married for 31 years... and now my mother is a very lonely woman. She has no friends. Her whole life was her husband and her children. As she likes to put it: She sacrificed herself for us.

Her children are grown up and pursue their own lifes. While my younger sisters live closer to her than I do it is still not good enough for my mother and she often ends up in an argument with them about

how "little" time they spend at her house.

My sisters have a vast network of friends and live very active lives.

Their world doesn't revolve only around their husbands and kids.

One thing we learned from Dad was to go out into the world and

pursue happiness. While I love my "offspring" with all my heart

I do understand that one day she will move on and pursue her own

life and when that happens she will be able to do so without guilt

because her mother never sacrificed herself and is happily pursuing her own thing...