How do you approach talking with someone who's family member just died?

Question

I just found out that a girl-friend I know from college had a younger brother who was killed in a car accident this past Sunday. I've never had a close friend who lost one of their family members, so I'm not quite sure how to approach a conversation with someone who has just had a tragedy like this happen to them. Do I stay away from talking about it and converse like normal or do I use a more comforting approach and let them have their space? Let me know what you think. Thanks!

Answer 1

depends how well u knew her. if u didnt know her that well, dont talk bout it or just say ur sorry that it happened. if u did know her pretty well, comfort her. its always tough to lose someone close to u. take it from me, ive already lost 4 in 3 years

Answer 2

If you converse like normal, they are going to think that you dont know that individual died or dont really care. I would give them some space  but acknowledge that you know about the tragedy.  If they want to talk let them know you want to listen.  

Answer 3

Offer your condolences, offer your help/support, send cards/flowers, but most of all let your friend know that you are there for her right now, because people sometimes think that the family only need support until the funeral is over.  I understand that it is difficult to approach someone who has lost a loved one, but attempt to do any small thing that you can.  

Answer 4

I lost my husband in 2001 and the best thing anyone could do for me was to let me talk! Tell her that you heard about her brother and if she wants to let her cry on your shoulder. What ever you do, don't say,"I know how you feel" because you don't! Let her know you are there for her if she needs to talk. That is the most comforting advice I can give.

Answer 5

be normal, definately.  The last thing your friend probably wants to do is talk about it, and if she does want to, she'll bring it up. good luck =]

Answer 6

If there is a funeral or memorial service, by all means go.   Much better to deal with it soon after the death than to wait.  A simple "I'm Sorry for your loss" and a hug is really all that is needed or expected.  If it is not possible to go to a service, send them a card along with a note expressing your sympathy.

Answer 7

just be yourself, you don't want to ask her so many questions about the event because she will probably tear up or something. If you want to know anything about the event I would ask her friends or relatives about it.

Answer 8

I'd tell her you heard the news and you are sorry. Ask her how she is doing and if there is anything you can do for her. If she wants to talk about it that will leave her the opening for her to do so or to leave it. It will tell her you are thinking about her and care for her and that is important.

Answer 9

Be yourself and let her know if there is anything that you can do example listen hold her and laugh with her.She will let you know how many good times they had were she will smile.Share the memories wth her that what a true friend is there for.Through good and bad times

Answer 10

Give them a hug, tell them you heard what had happened and if they feel the need to talk about it you will be there for them. Then steer the conversation back to the usual way you talk to each other. Do not avoid acknowledging what has happened, that can appear very insensitive and hurtful, but do not dwell on it or ask any questions. Your friend will open a discussion about it when she feels she can cope with it. .  

Answer 11

When i lost my Dad everyone said i know how you feel and i wanted to strangle them because no one does know. Don't say the dumb things people say , just tell her that you don't know what to say you can't imagine how she feels but that you want to be there for her if she needs you and that you will try and do anything that she needs you to do even if it is just to listen to her and hold her. I hope your friend is ok.