How do you balance having two kids?

Question

I already have a one year old and I am pregnant again ( due in December). I am kind of nervous about dealing with two kids. Yes, I have my husband to help me but I still feel like I will be neglecting one or just be so disorganized. I need some advice. When you had your second baby, how did you handle both of them? Did you have a schedule (if so give me an example of your day) and how long did it take you to adjust. Please help because I feel like time is ticking and I am beginning to feel overwhelmed!!

Thanks!!

Answer 1

I got my oldest child excited about the baby and being a "big" sister, before the baby was born. It made the transition a lot easier. I did have them on a schedule. when the baby slept in the morning, I gave my undivided attention to the oldest. for the after noon nap everyone slept, without exception.  We always included the older one when we did anything with the baby, so she didn't feel left out. It didn't take us long to transition. There was very little jealousy and my oldest was very proud of her baby sister. BY the way they were only 2 years apart .

Answer 2

My kids are 19 months apart and I got very nervous too!  For the first few weeks after my youngest was born, I was a wreck.  I slowly got into a routine and learned different tricks and was able to make it work.  You will too.   To get off on the right foot with your oldest start reading books about being a big brother/sister now, you can get them at the library.  When your oldest comes to see the new baby at the hospital, have a gift for him/her from the baby.  Then involve the big sibling in as much as you can with the baby, get diapers, pat his head, play peek a boo, cover the baby with a blanket, etc.   The new baby will sleep a lot, so you will still have lots of time with your oldest.   The first few times you go out of the house with both of them, take another adult, but try to do it all yourself so you feel more confident when it's just you with both kids.  You will be fine!  Now my kids are 2 and 9 months and they play together and love each other so much, I've just given them both the best gift ever, a friend for life!  Good Luck to you!

PS- Also - get as much ready as you can before the baby comes, ex., get a double stroller, wash baby clothes and put them away, get out the baby tub, etc.

Answer 3

There will be times when you will have to have your husband take care of your oldest. But what you can to to include your son with the baby is to have him help you. When you feed the baby, have your son sit with you. If there is a nap that you are still awake, you can take or play with your son. Your husband will need to spend a lot of time with him too. (Taking him to the park)

You will feel that you are "neglecting" your oldest, but your not. I went threw that with my second and third pregnancies, but the more you involve the oldest, the better you feel.

Answer 4

you will be fine...my kids are almost exactly 2yrs apart and I did fine...you will be surprised how baby naps all the time, so you will have time to clean and sit with baby #1...now my problem is that they are 4 and 2 and run everywhere and trash my house! lol joys of motherhood!

Answer 5

Don't worry.  You'll be surprised how much easier the second baby is - you know what you're doing with this one. Yes, it will require more time and energy to take care of 2 kids than one. And the first time you're  left alone with both of them at once, it's terrifying.  But it works out somehow.  

When I had my second, I realized that she could just go along with most of the things I did for my first.  Sometimes I'd carry her in a sling so that I could have my hands free for my older child (he was 2).  When we went out, she came with us.  If I was alone with both and needed to nurse her, I tried to do it in the room where my older child was, making sure the doors were closed and there was something for him to do for a few minutes.  Occasionally I had to stop nursing for a few seconds to attend to him, but after a while he learned to wait while Mom fed his little sister.  I distinctly remember the time he told me he had to go potty while I was nursing.  We were in the midst of toilet training, but I just said, "you can do this yourself." And he did!  It was a breakthrough for him, and a real relief for me.

When little sister was older, I encouraged him to play with her (he was too young to really help much). He enjoyed building towers out of blocks so she could crawl toward them and knock them down. They both would shriek with laughter.  It was fun watching the bond between them grow.  They are still great friends at 21 and 19.

Don't worry about a schedule.  At first, you'll just have to go with the flow.  By now you have the experience to know that the first few weeks and months with a new baby are so precious and go by so fast. Forget the housework unless the floor becomes a danger zone.  Keep the meals simple.  Try to enjoy this time as much as you can.   We don't get many chances in life to be a New Mom!

Congratulations, and good luck with everything.

Answer 6

Its hard, but do-able.  I have a 17 month old and a 3 week old.  We are still trying to work out a schedule, but the organization of the day is getting a little easier.  I am a stay at home mom for the time being, so we don't do a whole lot right now, but as far as feedings for the baby, they regulate, lunch  and nap time is at the same time everyday for my older boy and everything else falls into place around that.  Its a learning process that is never ending, but I'm sure it gets easier, so don't fret too much.