How do you be happy? (Or at least not anxious and depressed)

Question

I am 26 years old. I feel like I haven't done much with my life. I just turned 26 and am feeling old now. I have done some college but never finished and have an OK job that is somewhat steady and doesn't pay very well but it's not dreadful. I am not happy. I suffer from anxiety and depression and have an alcohol problem. I have a boyfriend I've been with for 3 years and he's also an alcoholic. We are both co dependent. I am overweight by like 100 pounds. I live in a dangerous neighborhood because it's all I can afford right now and I have credit problems so it's hard to move anywhere else. I have lost most of my friend because I am flaky and have betrayed most of the people I know.

I feel like I have a good heard but Ive just had a very hard time. I'm not sure what I should do now though. I can't tolerate my feelings, I can't sit with them without changing them with food or alcohol. Can I have some feedback please? I know about AA and have been, I have been in therapy for over 10 years, and I've tried several different types of med but I still don't know how I can tolerate my feelings without trying to chane them quickly. Also I have a very low level of self woth. It's hard for me to get motivated to do anything because I get so depressed sometimes. I have a high level of social anxiety and am very insecure because of all the weight I've gained so I avoid all the people I once had as friends but they hate me now cuz I just avoid them. I have feelings daily of sadness, anxiety, anger and jelousy. I get very jelous about my bf and other women he's friends with.

Please don't write any mean responses, I have had enough negative feedback already. I just want to hear if anyone has had similar expierences or has any advice or feedback. Please just reply by email...I'm not gonna be looking at this section again.Thanks!

Answer 1

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Seng

Answer 2

I don't know your e-mail address....Jesus cal solve all of your problems!

Go to church, start reading your bible, and put GOD first in your life....If your really want to change and see a positive difference in your life you need to get things straight with GOD first.....Most people don't like hearing this, but it's the truth...TRUST ME .....I KNOW!

Answer 3

Someone once said, "True happiness is to rest satisfied with what we have."

Another person said, "To find happiness we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves."

Answer 4

make a list of all the things you want to change or that SHOULD change.

1. better job

2. lose 2 lbs. TOTAL.

3. cut one alcohol drink, make it water instead.

4. go for a walk around the neighborhood once a week.

5. etc etc....

then cross them off as you do them.

make them SMALL....

and easy as turn off the tv if something is on that I don't even like.

as you do this... you will start feeling better believe it or not...

BABY steps.

OK as you are doing those,

every time you feel anxious OVER SOMETHING YOU CANNOT CHANGE AT LEAST RIGHT NOW....

1. take a walk around the neighborhood

2. or take a glass of water.

3. watch a movie you like

4. take a bath and use candles

5. do something comforting and non problem making.

6. FORGIVE YOUR SELF.

(and make that list too of things you CANT CHANGE right now anyway)

1. can't move YET

2. can't get past the jealousy (although I am jealous you have a boyfriend)

3.  working on the credit...

4. people thinking you are flaky, GET OVER THAT ONE... cause 1. you can't change how ANYONE FEELS, and this is just wrong to worry about...

(interesting the things YOU CANNOT CHANGE NOW, can come as the other LITTLE things change from the doable list)

The reason I STILL posted this here is for others if they should be wanting some ideas too..

You have a MOUNTAIN of things against you,

PUT up a sheet so you can't see the mountain, and take a pebble at a time, or handful you know?

Thanks for putting up something so personal we can all look at and think about.

Answer 5

hiya, well done for being brave enough to say all that on here. you have had a tough time haven't you, but it can change. just hold on to that for a mo. it can change. do you want it to change, whatever the cost? you don't have to do anything terrible so calm down. this really is so simple that anyone can do it. and remember, whatever the cost? do you want it all to change?

whatever you feel about this, it is the way to change, it will work, if you want to change.

speak this out, but read it carefully first and decide if you really want to change for the better.

" Jesus, i know i've made a real mess of things and i can't see a way out. but i've been told You are real and can help me. So i hand over this life of mine to You. i give You free rein over all areas of my life. i give my life to You. please come into my life and make me new. thank you Jesus"

if you mean this then Jesus will take you at your word and will come into your life and turn it around so that it is the life He wants you to have. listen to all He says, and be ready for Him to change you. do you want to be different, do you want this enough, ask Jesus now.x this is how i became joyful, if not always happy, i have Someone in my life Who loves me and cares about and for me. He will for you too.x

Answer 6

If you are truly depressed then you can't just stop it and be happy. It doesn't work like that.