How do you break up with someone after 5 years?

Question

So i am planning on breaking up with my bf of 5yrs. the reason is we broke up around April for a few weeks because i am tired of waiting for him to commit. Marriage specifically. We have a 4yr old son together which makes this even harder for me. I love my bf but am not in love with him. He is a great father just not a good boyfriend. When we broke up in April i explained to him that i wasn't planning on waiting for him forever and i needed more. We worked things out. He said he wants to marry me but was waiting for the right time. Blah blah blah. Well that was about 6 months ago and he has not even mentioned it. I figured after the blow out in April he would come around but hasn't. I know he is going to be hurt but i want to save him as much pain as possible. Any advice? how can i break it to him? what do i say? and how do i comfort him without giving him the wrong idea?

Answer 1

well, having a kid doesn't help at all.. not the best moment..

you need to sit him down and talk to him.. tell him what you expect.. and stick to it.. he may not take you seriously.. there is usually never a time is right, like having kids.. just needs to happen... tell him you feel you need to be married (insert reason).. why should he marry you, your sticking around, getting loving and already has kid? what does marriage mean to him? if you are getting the milk for free.... then? tell him you will settle for JP... he might be worried that you want large wedding and cannot afford... with guys, they evaluate "ya'lls wants" with "how much is it going to cost"... it is natural.. it sounds like the whole topic has been shoved aside..  

Answer 2

I don't see how, if you tell him what you told us, he could get the wrong idea.  Your reasons seem pretty straightforward to me.  I don't think this will even come as a surprise to him, given that you have done it once before.  You may even be doing him a favor.  Obviously, he does not want to marry you, or he would have asked.  But, he doesn't have the guts to call of his relationship with you either.  So, when you leave him, you'll be doing him the favor of freeing him up so that maybe he (and you too) can find someone that is right for marriage.

PS -- This is August.  In what universe is April 6 months before August?

Answer 3

I Usually start naming my farts when that happens... i give them names like willis or Conrad

Answer 4

You cant.. If you want it over just leave him and end it.  Cold Turkey.  Dont comfort him and dont take all his calls. If you "Save him as much Pain" That will only prolong the pain.  He will still Die inside but only slower.  Just rip it off like a bandaid.

Good Luck