How do you confront a preschool teacher?

Question

While dropping off my daughter at preschool, I overheard a conversation with a teacher and another child. The other child just came in and the mother rushed off to work. The teacher told the child that it looked like she didn't have time to brush her hair. She also said that the girl should put her hair in a nice ponytail like so-and-so's. I found this a littlt insulting because as a mom there are days I am in a rush and I don't want my daughter criticized for it. What would you have said?

Answer 1

I agree - this is what I did in a similar situation, and it was handled.  This is the director's job, don't go straight to the teacher.

Later on, in grade/middle/high school, you should go to the teacher...in preschool, go straight to the director and let them handle it.

Answer 2

I would not say anything to her directly, you don't want her to pick on your child because she is angry with you. Simply seek out her supervisor and tell them what was said, also let them know that you wish to remain anonymous because you don't want your child to be picked on.

Answer 3

I am a pre-k teacher I I think I would rather a parent confront me.

A good teacher will be able to handle confrontation and going over a teacher's head is wrong.

Give a teacher a chance to speak with you directly.

We are underpaid and overworked.

Maybe a heads up on bad behavior will help her think before she speaks next time.

Getting screamed at by a center director is a good way to encourage high turnover rates of qualified teacher in a daycare or school.

It only hurts the children to suffer through teacher after new teacher.

Speak to her.

She will probably apologize.

Answer 4

Going to the director at first is unnecessary. As a preschool teacher I would prefer that you come to me with your concerns. As someone in a position of authority and someone who frequently deals with parents, she should be able to understand your concern. I doubt that the teacher was meaning to be insulting. If she is around the child enough and knows that she usually doesn't come to school looking like she did on this particular day, she may have just wanted to help since her mother was in a hurry.

Tell her that although you understand she may have not meant to be insulting, it came off that way to you and you would not have like that said to your child. If the teacher doesn't react to your concern or correct her behavior then it is necessary to go to her director or supervisor.

Answer 5

Talk to the director/owner.  Tell them what you heard and let them deal with it.   Just explain that you feel it was inappropriate and you wanted to let her aware of the situation

Answer 6

I wouldnt say anything.Maybe mention it to the supervisor/director so m,aybe they can take care of it from there.

Answer 7

Criticized? Insulting? I would have said nothing. I think it was lovely that the teacher took time to care enough about the child to finish getting her ready and to improve her appearance. It will also help the child learn self-help skills.

That said, my dd never looks like I've brushed her hair even right after it's done, so I might have pointed that out to the teacher as in "Well, you know - she might have brushed her hair already. I did my dd's this morning and look at it! This is just the way her hair is."

If you honestly feel it was inappropriate, then talk to the teacher directly. Don't go behind her back or gossip with other parents. If it made you feel insulted at the time, you could have laughed a bit and said "Wow - that mom must have really busy mornings like I do. I think Little X looks great just the way she is." However, you didn't say anything at the time, so if you bring it up now you could say "I observed something the other day that concerned me." Tell exactly what you saw and heard and how it made you feel. Tell her why it concerns you and give her a chance to present her view as well.

If this is a pattern of behaviour you've observed on other occasions and different situations and nothing changes after you talk with her, then that would be the time to talk to the director or parent board or whoever is in a supervisory position over the teacher.