How do you convince someone to have self pride?

Question

I love my husband dearly. He is overweight and has recently gained even more weight. Now his t-shirts don't come even close to covering up his gut. He doesn't care one bit about this. He has never really cared about his appearance but it has become much worse lately. To be honest, I am embarrased by this only because his stomach is sticking out and I don't think it is appropriate to walk around like that, especially in church or in stores. How can I help him to have a little pride in himself? He is very intelligent and very caring but just doesn't care about his appearance or his health for that matter.

Answer 1

Unfortunately he needs to change himself for himself.  Sadly you just can't make him change.

Having said that, talk to him about it.  Talk about his health (fat around the tummy is a high risk factor for heart problems).

Come up with suggestions - go walking or the gym or such together...

Answer 2

First, go to the store and pick up some shirts that fit properly.  Larger people look more put together when their clothes fit properly.  Second, do you cook the meals in your house?  If so, try to "sneak-in" healthier foods into their diet.  My mom did this for my dad who hates "reduced-fat" or "low calorie" versions of food but he didn't know he was eating it.  The most important thing you can do is talk to him.  Don't make it an appearance issue, but rather a health issue and include yourself.  Example, you could say that you're getting concerned about your health because of age and that you would like to get out and walk after dinner but you feel uncomfortable going alone.  Getting him moving is the best way to shed pounds, even above cutting calories.  He'll feel better too, and after he sees some positive effects from being more active (and you secretly slashing his calorie intake) he will have an increase in his self-esteem.  It worked for my Dad, hopefully it can help your husband too.