How do you cope when you discover that aquaintances or coworkers think negatively of you?

Question

I work in a nursing home. I take care of elderly people, some with dementia, who may, at times, make comments that make no sense and/or have no merit.

Recently I was making some rounds with a nurse and one of our elderly men said that the nurse looked like my mother. Now I took no offense to this and thought nothing much of it. But the nurse had a difficult time shaking this off. I overheard her going around telling all of my other coworkers what the man had said as though it was a big deal to her. One of the coworkers laughed and said "Isn't that nice?!" in a very sarcastic tone.

Is this woman offended that someone thought she was a relation to me?

If this happened to you would you be hurt? How would you deal with it? I realize there isn't much I can do but to let it roll off my back but I'm still hurt and I need some advice.

Answer 1

I wouldn't get too upset.  The nurse probably thought she looked young, and then suddenly she looked like she could be another adult's mother.

It has probably nothing to do with you personally.

Answer 2

It may be because the person thought she was a relation to you (and if it happened to be a dimentia patient, who cares?).  Or she was upset at the suggestion that she was old enough to have adult children.  (You know... the age thing.)  Either way, don't worry about it.  The nurse needs to grow some thick skin if she is going to stay in that line of work.

Answer 3

I don't think it has anything to do with the nurse not wanting to be related to you. I think she was angry and surprised that the older man thought she was old enough to be your mother. The age issue is what bothered her, I think. The patient could have made the same remark about any other younger co-worker and I believe the nurse would have been just as upset. In her mind, the nurse probably thinks she looks much younger than she really does. It is a common misconception that people have as they get older.

Don't worry about this. I really don't think it has anything to do with you, in particular.

Answer 4

just ignore negative people. they are all over the place infecting good natured folks with their negative energy.

Just realize that some people will think bad of you no matter what. Pray that they find some happiness and act as if it doesn't bother you.

Answer 5

I think the nurse was upset the old man thought she looked very old.  The other nurse was just being sympathetic.  I don't think it had to do with not wanting to be related to you.

Answer 6

I don't quite see the problem here..  she may not have liked to be taken to be old enough to be your mother but the joke was against her not against you.. and the person who made the remark back to her was being sarcastic to her.  not to you and the old man is not to blame at all he has Dementia and all his brain cells are dying so I would have no problem with this... I don't understand why you are hurt. just because she doesn't want to be considered old enough to be your mom, she is your work colleague and doesn't want to be your mom.. that wouldn't insult me, I would not want to be her daughter either if I was you and I would just forget the whole story it's so trivial it's not worth to get a headache over this..

Answer 7

I admit, my feelings would be hurt, too, that someone would think so badly of me that I thought was a good co-worker, but I would simply stop talking to that person and just leave them be.  There's no point in dwelling on it, but you can protect yourself from further insults by just backing away.