How do you cope with a husband in Iraq, 3 year old son & Disabled?

Question

My husband just left for Iraq today, he'll be gone for 1 year. I'm disbaled and we have a 3 year old son, life is going to be hard. He is a my right hand man. Our son is at that age where he want's his dad all the time. I can't go and do the things that a 3 year should be able to do. Like take him a lot of places. I'm pretty much stuck in the house or go only a few blocks from my house. Life is hard without my soul mate.

Answer 1

try to hire a nanny, i just want to let u know i am crying right now. i am so sorry this had to happen to you, with my family its reversed, my twin brothers are handicapped, and i cant even imagine wat would happen if my dad went to iraq and left my mom to take care of them. i really hope it works out for u!!!!

Answer 2

That sucks, can you hire a house worker? Get a friend to live with you? Relatives to live with you? Baby sitter?

Might be hard now, but pull through! Just imagine the future!

Answer 3

At least you have a soul mate and a son and that ain't all that bad. We all have burdens to carry, and some are worse than others.  

Answer 4

Most counties or states have services for disabled persons who have children or elders in the home.  Check into assistance from your local city, county, and state outreach and community service offices.  

Your situation calls for HUGE adjustment, as you are aware.  You have control over your perspective of it.  Your son is the most important person in your life right now, and he is now relying on you for his existence, depending on you for safety, and totally at your mercy insofar as receiving love, attention, and care.  It may be helpful for you to begin having a relationship with your son in ways that you have not explored as a disabled mother.  Reading to him, listening to music with him, watching kids shows on TV, praising him when he tries something novel and creative, fingerpainting with him......these are sedentary events for you in your condition, but demand and develop focus, thought, determination, effort, etc. on the part of your son....development of a healthy mind.  

What you have encountered in this situation is a challenge....a challenge to grow and develop into a healthy individual who is becoming empowered. It will benefit you to rise up to the challenge, for your own development and that of your son.  Show him that there is strength in weakness, there is determination in solving problems, and there is hope that things will improve. Best wishes, my friend.  You need support and now is the time to stretch out your hands to receive it from friends, family, and organizations.  

Answer 5

Pray. talk to friends. Pray

Answer 6

he needs to get another job closer to home where he is needed - he should know that though - i dont know how he can jump on a plane and take off for a year - talk to him

Answer 7

If you can, hire a nanny.

She could be your sons helper and maybe even a friend to you.

Answer 8

God doesn't give us anything we cant handle,You will be fine,God Bless you and your family

Answer 9

Any friends or family around that would be able to help you from time to time? That would be a good start. I'm pretty sure they would be more than happy to spend time with you and your son and help you in anyway possible. I pray for you and your family! Take care!

Answer 10

It will be hard. But be strong, you will get through it.

In the meantime. Do you have any family that might be able to help every so often. If for nothing than for your own sanity?  

Answer 11

Time makes you stronger, you'll pull through.  Just don't give up and think positive.  Whenever I'm having problems I just keep telling myself that everything will work out because after every climb there is a rest.  Good luck with everything and I hope my advice helped :)

Answer 12

SEE WHAT ARE HIS OPTIONS, EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT ARE HIS DUTIES AS A SOLDIER AND HAS WELL AS A DAD, YOUR NEEDS AND THE FAMILY NEEDS. KIDS GROW UP QUICK SO TELL HIM NOT TO MISS IT.