How do you cope with the most shocking jolt of your life?

Question

ten years ago when i was in college, i was a victim of gender discrimination. i did not allow my teacher to make a pass at me, as a result, he messed up my grades. today i have to live with the fact that i can never get a decent job as result. my ambitions have come to a standstill. i work and have a family, but i can never acheive what i went to college for. i am still trying to figure out how to deal with it.

anyone else with experieces?

Answer 1

how does bad grades in one class prevent you from getting a decent job?  Was it not possible for you to retake the class?  sounds like you are a plain and simple loser who would be a failure in life no matter what or how many classes you take.  Its not the careers available that are not good enough for you, it is you that is no good for any type of employment.  get back to your lemonade stand you loser.

Answer 2

The most recent of what you are speaking of for me was about four years ago.  I was basically engaged to get married, nothing official, but it was a known fact.  My boyfriend at the time decided he was going to go back to our hometown and visit friends and family.  I didn't have any time off accrued so I told him to go without me.  He left, I couldn't get a hold of him the majority of the time.  When he came back something was different.  We basically had a a huge fight that night, he told me he didn't love me anymore and that I was holding him back.  He left two days later, went back home.  It took me a long time to get over him.  In fact, I don't think I can fully commit to anyone to this day.  I won't let some one leave me like that again.

I can understand the past haunting your present.

Answer 3

Hi.

I have had several experiences in the past of people messing up my life and causing me unhappiness. Like you, I would look at what happened and say that the incident was the reason I was not doing what I wanted to do or that I was now not happy because of it.

But then I learnt a vital lesson which was this.

We are all in charge of our own lives and as such we need to handle each situation we encounter in a positive way that will protect us.

When this teacher made a pass at you, you rejected his advances but - you did not do what you should have done and wanted to do - which was to formerly complain to the college principles about it. Had you done this, the teacher may not have then remained in a position to be able to have affected your results and you might have been doing what you wanted to do. So, as I had to learn - it was my fault that I allowed other people to affect my life.

The incident does not appear to have affected your feelings that badly as you say you now have a family. It may be difficult for you now but you must stop visiting your memories regarding the incident and look to see what you can do about achieving your goals. Have you considered home study or night classes.?  If you really want to succeed - you will!

Good luck.

Answer 4

First, get over yourself. Then look at all that you have and if what you went to college for is really what you want to do in life. Re-take the classes, see a counselor at the school or whatever it takes. You only have one life and you should not live it unhappy because of a college blame.

Answer 5

If it is still affecting your life to this day, see a therapist.

Don't be a victim.