How do you deal w when someone says something that slightly bothers you at the time, but when u think ?

Question

about it after the fact, it really starts to bother you. Sometimes when people say inconsiderate things you don't fully realize it until the situation has passed. Do you let it bother you? Sometimes it can be trivial, and even confronting the person later will make you seem like a whiner because they can be like, dude, just relax.

Answer 1

I have this problem too.  If you know a certain person is prone to this, learn how to react.  I think it is a matter of the brain only processing something as a minor insult instead of  "HEY!  He just insulted you!  Are you going to take that?"   I'm not one for comebacks anyway, so what I eventually start doing once I put two and two together is avoid the person or just act disinterested every time they try to make a smart remark.  Insults are just a lame way of trying to get power over a situation, and if they don't bother the victim, then their whole meaning is lost.  I'm for good ol' fashion communication.

Answer 2

Exactly!  I so relate to your question.  I live that scenario.  Then, unfortunately, I blow up at them later and they wonder what's wrong with me!  They have a right to be confused, but they have the responsiblity to get a clue and see where they may have had it coming.  Also, it's up to us to have courage and be honest, even if it's after the fact...

I could write a whole book as a response, but I'll spare you.  Sometimes, I take the low road and remember what a friend told me:  "Better to give a resentment than keep one!!"  ;-)  

s***w it if they think I'm whining.  I have as much a right as they do to be offensive or to be honest with them.  I simply need to learn how to do it without alienating everybody.  I'm workin' on that one.

Answer 3

I have actually gone back to a people at a later time and told them that I didn't care for what they said to me and why. One time, the person said that they didn't mean for it to come out the way it did and apologized for offending me.

Some folks can be insensitive clods and others just talk "off the cuff" and later realize that what they said was rude, inconsiderate, etc...

It always pays to ask them for clarification of their comment if it bothers you. If they didn't mean to offend you, they will be big enough to apologize. If the intent WAS to offend you, they will generally make excuses for themselves. Either way, you will have better insight to that persons character and can decide if you want to interact with them in the future.