How do you deal with a bi-polar husband who doesn't want to work?

Question

My husband and I are both 28 yrs old we have been married 6 yrs and together a total of 12 yrs, things have really gone down hill these past few months he has recently been diagnosed as bipolar and he hasn't worked since April and really doesn't seem interested I have tried everthing from being the bad guy to being supportive but nothing seems to be helping. Divorce is a last resort for me but I have really been unhappy and I feel like life has more to offer than what I am getting from my marriage. If anybody has any advice I would really appreciate it.

Answer 1

DIVORCE

Answer 2

You are really insensitive. Bipolar disorder is a real, debilitating disorder. Often even medications don't cure the mood swings enough to make a job a possibility. Sometimes simple, low-stress (low pay) jobs are the best, other times the idiocy of the managers at these jobs make them really difficult.

If you want your husband to work, he cannot just go out and get any job in the classifieds, it has to be a deliberate process and will take a bit of patience on your part and his.

He should go to Vocational Rehabilitation at your local Workforce Development Center and get a counselor. That counselor is trained to help people with ailments and disabilities find work. He should also get the book "What Color is Your Parachute" so he can honestly find the right career for him.

VocRehab might even have money they can give employers for extra training and accommodations he will need at his workplace.

This process will take months, but will get him on the road to a real job or career rather than a series of dead end jobs that he will fail at because of his REAL, physical illness. This is not an "emotional problem" it is an issue with his brain chemistry.

Answer 3

You don't want to divorce, but you then need to move out and get on with your life without him tying you down both mentally and financially.  If he's gonna come around and hasn't done it by now you have to have tough love and take a drastic step like this if you want it to work out and then it is or isn't.  You cannot live like this you'll whole life, your to young to suffer like this.

Answer 4

DIVORCE !

My wife was diagnosed as bipolar after 5 years of marriage. With proper treatment she was okay for the next 4 years and went downhill fast. After 3 years of not only not working she did not evan want to get out of bed. At the 12 year mark I wanted a divorce after 3 years of being totally miserable. She opted for suicide.

Life is too short to be miserable.

Answer 5

a divorce or hopefully get him into some kind of work program for the mentally ill..social service assistance..to look at job program..

Answer 6

The medication to treat bi-polar is pretty wicked stuff -- probably the reason for your husband's indifference to life in general.  Have you checked into applying for disability benefits?  It's not great, not enough to support a household, but if you work it will definitely help.  Plus, he would be eligible to receive Medicare and have a prescription plan to help pay for those medications he will need to take the rest of his life.

Living with a spouse with bi-polar is very difficult.  If divorce is not an option for you, perhaps you should check out therapy for yourself.  Educating yourself about your husband's condition will also help tremendously.

Answer 7

Yeah!! What is that!  And most of them are unmedicated too!

Answer 8

He would become an ex-husband very quickly.

Answer 9

um.. divorce him!! hello!! knock knock, is there a brain in there??

Answer 10

You tell him that he needs to seek therapy and pull himself together.  If he doesn't, he becomes an ex husband.  You can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed.

Answer 11

Get out before you are old and wrinkled and life has passed you by.There is no future and no happiness with this guy.