How do you deal with a cheater?

Question

my wife after 16years of marrage decided after meeting a guy from a friend took it to the next level and now wants to work it out with us but still has feelings for the other guy and not for sure if she is still in our marrage for the long haul..plus we have two kids........help

Answer 1

The way I look at it is Once a cheater always a cheater...I do not forgive cheating...

Answer 2

I dont deal with a cheater!

Answer 3

I feel you Bro!!

I married a woman opps girl that cheated not once but twice! And guess what...I'm still wit the hoe, and I hate myself for being with her. I stayed for the kids but I should have got out as soon as I found out.

You can't make a hoe a housewife!

Answer 4

I'm  in the same boat. My husband has been cheating with a co worker for 4 years without me knowing. He moved out two horrible days ago and we have three small children that he wants nothing to do with any more. I wish he would come back, I begged him to come back but whats to say if he did, would I ever be able to trust him ever again. And whats to stop them from doing it again. We have been married for 7 years and together 11 years. Since I was 16 years old. I cant lie to you be thankful she wants to work it out. I wish I had that.I could use some advice also so if you have any please share.

Answer 5

This is such a tough situation.  Why should you put your life on hold for her?  It's even harder on most men with kids involved.  Take it from me, if she isn't sure, then cut her loose......only time will tell. I'm sorry you are going through this.

Answer 6

SHE WANTS HER CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!  DON'T YOU GET IT DUDE!

Answer 7

well if she isnt in it for the long haul then why does she want in it right now? until something else comes or someone else?well maybe try being seperated untill she knows for sure, and when she realizes she wants the family and nothing else. but hope for her sake its not to late and you have moved on,

Answer 8

I know what your going thru ive been there myself. First if she has feelings for someone else it will never work. My ex did the same thing to me. The first thing you have to do is grow a set of balls!! she cheated!! boot her to the curb!! I booted mine out and i keep the three kids and we are doing better than we did with her here.She cheated so matter what she says you will never believe her so there will always be problems. Give you and your children a better life without all the mistrust and fighting, let the cheater go and move on with your life.

And here is my new motto: I may want a woman but I don't need one!!!  

Answer 9

Don't mean to sound rude but men do it all the time and expect for a women to forgive them, not sure if you ever have (cheated) but try to forgive her if you feel like you'll hold this over her head LEAVE.

Answer 10

She still has feeling for him... so she might go back to him. Do not let her play with your emotions.  

Answer 11

Do it to me once, shame on you. Do it to me twice, shame on me. Fight for your kids. They need stability, not a w***e raising them

Answer 12

It sounds like pretty shaky ground. Try holding out for the long haul. The answer should come pretty soon one way or another. Let her make it.

Answer 13

Only you can honestly answer that question from your heart, try marriage counseling and see where things go from there.  At least she has admitted her wrong doing, maybe you two can repair your home.  Sometimes its not always best to up and walk away, if you love your wife try everything possible to make it work.

Answer 14

She turned w***e on you, dude. Too bad, but unless you're okay with her s******g some other guy I'd kick her to the curb.

Answer 15

The answer to your question is you don't deal with a cheater , you divorce them .

If she's cheated once she will cheat again and again and again .

Get a lawyer and file for divorce on the grounds of adultery and file for custody of your children .

Don't put this off any longer . The longer it takes you to file for divorce and custody the harder it will be on you and your kids .

She could not possibly want to work your marriage out as long as she has feelings for the other guy . Besides she told you that she is not sure she is still in your marriage for the long haul . Which honestly I doubt if she ever was seeing how she cheated on you in the first place .

Save yourself the headaches and get a lawyer .

Best of luck .