How do you deal with a picky eater...

Question

...when it's not your child?

My fiancé's niece (8y) will eat the following:

Bread, white, crusts removed.

Tortilla shells, white

Pasta

Tomato sauce (the cheap, running, no texture kind)

Cheddar cheese

Boiled hot dogs

...oh, and an assortment of junk food.

She's incredibly inactive, in fact I would say lazy: She will go to the park, but she will not walk/ride a bike/ride a scooter there. She wants to be driven. Consequently, she is a bit on the chubby side, but God forbid her mother say anything.

We were at a festival this past weekend, where she ordered a hotdog with just ketchup, and a Diet Coke: The hot dog was a bit burnt, and she whined and complained. I peeled off the burnt bit for her and gave it back, at which point she whined some more and refused to eat anything more.

Her mother is not making an effort, not picking her battles, but just letting her daughter do whatever, whenever, especially when dealing with food. Later that night, my niece-to-be started complaining about being hungry and insisted on going out for dessert--to which her mother willingly obliged (which is something that occurs regularly)

Would you talk to her (my niece-to-be's mother) about this?

How would you deal with this when you...

a)Are with my niece-to-be, but not her mom

b) Are with both of them.

Unfortunately, my fiance's niece lacks any sort of a role model nutritionally, and I'm worried that this will spiral out of hands. Sure, kids should be kids...but they need to learn how to eat properly at some point, and sooner is better than later.

Thanks!

Answer 1

If you and her uncle are active in her life you can provide good role models for her. When she is at your house or out with you, make wise food choices. And don't tolerate her picky and whiny behavior while she is with you.

If she respects you and her uncle, she will begin to copy you. She will also stop misbehaving even when she isn't with you.

Answer 2

tell her that she needs to eat healthy, or else she'll get rather large. i used to be like that. and in one summer i weighed as much as my twenty year old brother, i was about ten or eleven. so i started sports. have her do something to maybe get her metabolism up, or something healthy. or have her eat more vegetables and not so many fruits, it adds up to sugar. and celery & stuff.

Answer 3

It is not your place to talk with the mother.  What her mother feeds her is basically none of your business whether you are married to her uncle or not.  How her mother chooses to raise HER child is none of your business.  IF the little girl is in your home you can indicate to her that if she doesn't eat what is placed in front of her she will not eat until her next meal.  However you have no authority to tell her or her mother what to do in their home.  If you are having a problem with this I suggest you speak to your fiance and let him talk to the child's parents if necessary but even he has no right to butt in, it's not his child.

Answer 4

Most kids her age like the Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana, etc. I would give her rewards. For example, each week she doesn't whine about food, you give her, I don't know, one of those magazines with Disney stars? That worked with me, because I didn't like going to school before, so therefor, my mom would put a sticker on my calender if I didn't whine that day.

As for the nutritions, maybe she likes fruits, like strawberries. If she likes strawberries, eat them with a bit of sugar. I personally like them cut up with milk in a bowl, but I add sugar.

Maybe she likes a certain sport? Handball, four square, swimming, and basketball, and tennis are popular with her age.

If she's into technology and stuff, try to get her into Dance Dance Revelution, or the Wii. They really do actually help!