How do you deal with a "Dear John"?

Question

I had been dating someone for a little over 2 1/2 years and everything was going great. I wanted to marry her, and volunteered to go to Iraq so I could save enough money to get the ring that she wanted. On my 15th day here, out of nowhere, I called her and she told me she was leaving to find someone more like her. Now I find out she is going on dates with my one of my friends. It's barely been a month and she's seeing someone already??? What the h**l? How do you deal with something like this? It just adds on to all the daily c**p that happens out here already that's hard enough to deal with. I try to just get it out of my head, but it always comes back to her. What are some "mental techniques" that I can use to just stop thinking about her so much?

Answer 1

Go online and find some other woman.

Answer 2

Ohhh been there, honostly bud, you are better off! I had the same thing happen while I was in AIT. It typically means that they always had their doubts about the relationship, but either didn't want to hurt your feelings, or didn't want to disrupt the comfort level. It goes back to the out of sight out of mind phrase. I would recommend what I call erasing. Basically rid yourself of anything that can be associated with her and instead of stating that you joined to get a ring, you joined for another reason. You got enough on your plate as is. Don't think of home, just think about survival and make it back to the U.S... God Speed.

Answer 3

First off, I commend you for your bravery in Iraq. Going there for the ring really shows how much you loved her.

But...wow...she is a B*TCH. I'm dead serious, I think deep down she is a cold-blooded heartless snake. If you went out with her for 2 and 1/2 years, were on the verge of becoming engaged, why the flying f*ck would she dump you...for your friend...when you are fighting in a war FOR HER?

Sweetheart, YOU DESERVE BETTER. Even if those years were great, now you see her true colors. God bless you, I hope you return home safely and soon. There WILL be many more suitable women for you.

To get her off your mind, just focus on her flaws or something...your bad times with her...and how she broke up with you to find someone "more like her" when you're putting your life in danger for the symbol of undying love, the ring. Just keep trying to find new activities as well...continue what you like and try new things!

BEST OF LUCK. GOD BLESS!!

Answer 4

the best one and its hard to do is forget her. thank God that you foound out before you maybe got married or worse yet you bought that ring she could have given you hard time about giving it back. so you are the lucky one. you are knowing shes just jumping from man to man shes nto for you that is sure. you hae to keep it together and you will find the right person there are so many girls out there just look and see i mean you will find the right one yes right now cause of comfort and stuff issues you liked her but you will agian find someone much better then her and you will then undertand. sometimes it is hard to say good bye but its best cause she didnt' really care about you or she'd be with you now. so take care and move on and live again. its ok just dont' thinka bout her and it will lead to better things good luck and thanks for th ejob over there you are doing.