How do you deal with a verbally abusive dad?

Question

I'll just give some examples...Well he's always yelling at me, he tells me that I'm too fat and need to go exercise and I'm not even fat.

I usually get all As and Bs in school and when I got my first D in my foreign language class he yelled at me and said I'd never get through college and I needed a college degree because I wouldn't be able to get a job without one because I have no personality.

Today, I was watching Keeping up with the Kardashians on E! (I know, I know. There was nothing else on!) And he came in and yelled at me saying that I was never going to grow up to be anything worthwhile because I watched useless trash. By the way, I'm 21 years old and he still yells at me and tells me I won't grow up to be anything useful

Has anyone else had a similar experience? How should I deal with this after so long?

Answer 1

First of all,you really need to get out of that house and get your own life,but not before getting a job evenly if its McDonald's , Do you know who you are and what you won't out of life? if yes then go for it and let know one tell you how are when.much love

Answer 2

Why haven't you moved out? Leave!

Answer 3

It sucks that your dad is still treating you this way when you're 21. You need to let him know that you are grown up enough to make you're own decisions. That whatever decisions you make, you understand you will live with what happens. Since you're still in the house, I suggest looking for another place to be. Anywhere away from him. Whether it's with a friend or another relative, I'd get out. Call a friend while you are on school campus in a place where the conversation is private. Tell them the situation and see if they can help. If they can. Gradually take stuff out of the house and drop them off at your friends house before or after school. If your dad asks, tell him you grew out of some things and are taking them to a friend who can use them. When and if you do get out, end most contact with you're dad. (temporarily if you want but at least for a while) If he asks why you are doing / did that. Put it simply. You are not a child and do not wish to be treated like a piece of trash. You are his daughter, his flesh and blood and you wish to be treated with respect. Tell him how you feel, how what he's done has made you feel. If he won't listen, take him out to lunch with an adult you know he will listen to. Explain to them what has been going on, how it makes you feel, everything (beforehand) and have them tell him what they see in him, and in how you have changed because of him.

    The following is what I read on a website: "Remain calm and choose words carefully. A hurtful word becomes a destructive weapon, and our first reaction is to retaliate with hurtful words. Speaking good and uplifting words back in kind, will bring confusion to the abuser. The power of life and death is in the tongue. Breathe life-giving words. Control your emotions. Do not lash back with more of the same emotions that are coming at you. React with wisdom, not with feelings." -It had more. I put the website in the source thing...

I wish you the best of luck. Hope this helped.

Answer 4

Aw feel sorry for you you need to stand up to him you put ur foot  down saying u had enough with is attitude! If he yells at you or hits you for example  report him to the Police.

Ive been their though its different experience my mum says I'm fat and I'm 26yrs old and her boy friend call me fat an all. But  i ain't going  down those lines either.

Answer 5

I personally dealt with it by leaving home at the age of 16. If you are still there at 21 it must not be that bad.

Answer 6

ok you' an adult. Move and leave and never speak to him again. That is wat I done with my verbally abusive dad

Answer 7

Realize that he's doing the best he can.  Isn't THAT a horrible thought?  but he is.  And somewhere down inside he cares about you but he can't show it.  Remember, it's not you, it's his twisted thinking and the terrible things he learned as a child that makes him abuse you.  

Answer 8

First of all, you are 21 and you should move out. Even if he wont let you, its really not his choice. You are able to make your own decisions. When he says mean things, try to ignore him.  Also try talking to other family for help & support.

Good luck =]

Answer 9

Simple solution, move out.  

Answer 10

gurl u 21 so go ahead and move out. u are a adult so he cant be making choices for u anymore, tell him that. tell him its your life, and that u can do whatever with it

Answer 11

When I first read this I assumed you were about 14 years old; at 21, you need to move out and away from him. YOU take over your own life and move OUT.